Friday, July 23, 2010

I Defy the Power of Boob!

I must begin this post as I have many times before, with an apology. I realize that many of you may be offended by my use of the term "boob" in reference to breasts. In fact, some of you might even be offended by the fact that I would even write about breasts in the first place, but bear with me. The use of the term boob is mostly for laughs and I do actually have a serious point in here somewhere so keep reading and hopefully you'll laugh and think.

So, I defy the power of boob! What does that mean? Well, let me tell you of my last great skirmishes with the kingdom of breast. I am a guy, and as everyone knows guys generally feel pretty drawn to breasts. This is why as a Christian guy who thinks that he should keep his eyes from staring at any breasts but his wife's I say things like defiance and skirmishes and fun terminology like that.

Once upon a time last week I went to a renaissance fair in Colorado, and as anyone who has been to a renaissance fair has probably noticed they are pretty kinky places. Something about reenacting a time before the age of political correctness seems to make everyone's minds turn to sex. So that means most of the women are "wenches" and wear these tight bodices that cause their breasts to mount an escape attempt over the top. Besides the fact that this looks terribly uncomfortable for the boobs in question it is also somewhat uncomfortable for me. So surrounded by this sea of breasts I made a decision-I shall defy the power of boob!

In our society the power of boobs are abused in many ways. The power of of boob sells beer, Axe shampoo, shoes, and anything else even slightly aimed toward men. Even Victoria's Secret, which I would think is primarily advertising to women, seems to utilize the power of boob to a great extent. So I decided that it might be a good idea to defy this power. If this is one of the most potent powers used in against my sex than it is my duty to defy them!

This is not to say that I am on a misogynistic rant and think that boobs are inherently evil. No, quite the contrary. I actually think that the power of boob, like all abused powers, has potential to be used for good. In fact someday I plan to completely give myself over to the power of boob as wielded by my wonderful wife. But until then I think this is a terribly abused power, more dangerous than nuclear weapons of mass destruction. Don't believe me? How many men throughout history have been effected by weapons of mass destruction? A couple million? A few billion? Not sure. How many men have been effected by the power of boob? Let's turn that question around, how many men have NOT been effect by the power of boob? Ummm, pretty much none. Not to be prejudiced, but I'm only talking straight guys here because I'm straight so I think we get each other.

So there it is. I think it is time that I began to defy the power of boob. In fact, I think maybe now would be a good time for you to join me in this little act of defiance. Let's all defy the power of boob! Let's not let it influence our purchasing choices, let's not let it be a factor in the women we go after. What if we were to forget about boobs and only focus on actual quality of product and women? Whoa, I think my mind just exploded. That would be a totally different world. Let's do it!

I hope you enjoyed my thoughts about boobs. I enjoyed typing the word "boob" sixteen times (yeah, I counted) because I'm still just that immature. If you thought this was awesome then please comment and let me know. If you thought this was terribly offensive and plan to hunt me down and cut off my sinful fingers so I can never type the word "boobs" again then I must also ask that you would comment and let me know. A little heads up would be nice.

Anyway, I must be off. I have to be up at 4 A.M. tomorrow morning to fly back to Bangor! Yay! Goodnight everyone!

1 comment:

lux said...

it's been a little while since i have left a comment for you...
i fully enjoyed your blog. it made me smile.
Go for it Defy the power of the boob... set the standard for other guys around you...
Bless ya mate,
Lux