This just seemed appropriate for Valentine's Day...

I heard the ladies love a man in uniform...

I just love this picture, and will put it as my faceBook picture on Sunday and would already have it as my MySpace picture if MySpace wasn't so dang hard to use!! Well anyway, enjoy your drooling! Cya!

I stand TRIUMPHANT!!

I am the champion, no time for losers ‘cuz I am the champion…of college acceptance! Everybody dance now! Celebrate good times, COME ON! And many other celebration songs. Why am I celebrating? Well, when I applied to Houghton and Thomas More colleges I had a goal. My goal was to be so great that despite the fact that I would probably choose which college I liked best before I was accepted I would be accepted by both. My goal was to have a choice of places that wanted me for my own coolness. Now as all of you know I was accepted to Houghton months ago, two weeks after applying. Even before I had visited. And then as I think you all know I fell in love with Houghton and not with Thomas More after I visited both. And I waited months and finally gave up on Thomas More ever accepting me, which didn’t make any difference because I’d already decided on going to Houghton anyway. But now I hold in my hands (not literally of course, it’s hard to type with a letter in your hands!) a letter of acceptance from Thomas More College of Liberal Arts. So now I stand triumphant, totally psyched and happy, elated beyond elation, because my goal was to be accepted to both colleges, and now I have been accepted to both colleges. Now I have to send a $300 deposit to Houghton to tell them I will be coming and a $0 deposit to Thomas More with a letter telling them I won’t be coming because 4 years of second hand smoke doesn’t appeal to me. Well I won’t say it quite like that, but I will thank them for accepting me and politely decline. But at least I got accepted to both! It’s very rare that I achieve one of my goals, because they’re always either unrealistic or I’m just too lazy, so I’m very happy.

Anyway, I feel like a broken record on posts like this so let me just say the main point. I got accepted to 2 out of 2 colleges I’m happy. But now I must be off, there’s babysitting to be done!

What is love?

With Valentine’s day, that cursed day of torture for the single soul, coming up I’ve had love on my mind a lot lately. Now none of you know why, because I long ago swore not to write about my love life on my blog, but the topic of love is a very painful thing for me to think about, at least romantic love is. As shown by last year’s V-day post (You know the one, dead stupid Cupid with an arrow in his back) this has been a rather irritating area for sometime. But because I am human, and because I worship Love (God is Love), this is an area it is impossible for me to avoid. Not completely impossible, romantic love can be extraordinarily easily avoided, though it makes life a lot more boring, but still difficult. Because there are different kinds of love, and love is everywhere, and no matter where I go in Tallinn there are always couples walking around looking lovey-dovey. But on Friday the subject of love was not brought up in connection to God, or my friends or family, or romantically. It was brought up as a question in a game.

At youth group we played a game where we got into 2 lines and then we would all get asked a question and we would have to answer it to the person across from us. One of those getting to know each other type games. And when I was standing across from Evelin the question was asked, “What is true love?” Now this is a gigantic question that I won’t be able to answer in this post, and I definitely wasn’t able to answer adequately in the minute I had. So I went with the easy and (I thought ) obvious answer, God is Love, God is true, God is perfect. Therefore the only true love is God’s love. Or God himself. But Evelin’s answer surprised me a little. She said she doesn’t believe in true love, she thinks there is no such thing. Now that is a view of true love that I have struggled with for a long time. But I have come to this conclusion, there must be true love, or else I have no hope. I have piles and piles of evidence that we humans are nothing more than hedonistic animals who live for pleasure, and do everything by impulse and instinct. And that because as a species we want to survive we invent “love” because being in love and being married gets the kids raised and keeps humans from dying out, and that is our instinct so we do it. That is a view that is, quite sadly, very widely accepted. But with that view I see no hope, and I need hope.

I’ll be honest with you, I hate Valentine’s day. And when I see happy couples kissing, hugging, holding hands, or just being happy I want to go psycho on them and shatter their blissful self-delusion. But do you know why I don’t? Because I have hope. I might hate Valentine’s day right now, and I might feel a slight flicker of anger when I see happy couples as I walk lonely in the cold, but deep inside, deeper than the hate and anger, is the hope. And more than hope, the knowledge, that someday I will know that happiness too. Today I am single, I am extremely alone in the romantic sense of the word. I have no “prospects” and I get the feeling that nobody is interested in me either. But I know that someday I will find a women who I will love, and who will love me. And all this hate and anger that I fight so hard to keep under control will simply melt away and be replaced by pure joy. And that is why I believe in true love, because without it where is my hope? If my hope is to find a women who loves me, but then meets someone better and turns whore on me then that’s no hope at all. I don’t really want to believe in true love. Life would be so much easier if we really were animals. But I know there must be true love, and I know it’s out there somewhere. And part of my plan for the next 10 years is to hunt it down.

A lot of people might say 10 years is a long time but I’ve waited this long and I think it’s worth it. If it only takes me 4 years all the better, but my hope is within 10 years to be married. Another thing that made me think about this was in my latest issue of Breakaway magazine (Breakaway rocks!) was “A letter to my future husband” which was just that. A teenage girl’s letter to her future husband. Now of course she doesn’t know yet who her future husband is. She could be writing to me for all I know. But she wrote a letter, mostly of encouragement, to her future husband. It’s something I’ve thought about doing before. But as she says in her letter, it just feels really weird. It’s weird to pray for your future wife to, but I do that. But writing is extremely weird. But maybe I will. Especially because I believe that the majority of my reader’s are female, and of course this letter in Breakaway didn’t only encourage her future husband, it encouraged me too. So maybe even if I never marry any of you, I might still encourage you. I’ll thin about it.

But anyway, now I must return to my simple life as a single Christian young man on a mission to single handedly save the world until such a time as he finds a women who will stand back to back with him in the fray. But until then, Cya!

It's the little things that really give you joy...

Fun at the Methodist church

As always whenever I go to the Methodist church I have fun. Whether I’m there to be entertained, or to entertain, it’s always fun. I’ve been going to a university student bible study on Thursdays at the Methodist church for a while now, and last Thursday they asked me to help them out with a thing they were doing this Saturday, that is, today. And since I’m such a wonderful person of course I said yes I’d love to help, so Anneli helped with food while Priit and I ended up as child care. Which is exactly how I’d want it. So I was in charge of thinking up games and fun stuff for the kids to do, and then doing it with them for and hour and a half. We had loads of fun, we played 5 games using only a scarf and two tennis balls (never knew a scarf and two tennis balls could be fun, did you?), did a puppet show of a rather modern snow white, and I told the story of David and Goliath while the kids acted it out. Which the kids loved because I brought a toy sword, and so the guy lucky enough to be Goliath was thrilled to have a sword until David used it to chop off his head at the end. It was great. I love kids. The best kid was this little girl named Lisa (probably spelled Liisa) who was hilarious. She couldn’t have been older than 4 but she was still a riot. Her and another girl, Liise, were the first to come in and when Liisa found out Liise’s name she burst out excitedly saying, “Your name’s Liise? My names Liisa! They sound the same! We should be friends!” but the best thing she did was during the Bible story. As I was telling about how every said to David, “How can you fight Goliath, you’re just a kid” she jumped up in shock and said, “What? This is a battlefield! You can’t have kids on a battlefield! The Israelites and Philistines should go fight somewhere else.” It was hilarious.

Anyway, now I’ve been working on my FAFSA stuff, which is irritating to say the least. So pray I don’t go crazy before I get to college. Anyway, I need to go now. Cya!

My evil twin (Pardon me, misunderstood twin) and I are going to take over MySpace and DDR!

Why hello there. As you may have noticed the good old blog post machine has been malfunctioning lately. The problem, lack of inspiration. The other problem, overdose of apathy when inspiration hits. Both very serious problems. But I’m hoping to cure both of those problems starting right now! With a post title like the one above there is NO WAY this won’t be good post that will put me straight back into my blogging groove and make me groovy again. Well I’m always groovy, but anyway…Who is my evil twin you ask? Well you may have noticed that I have up a picture of a guy who (so I’m told) looks a lot like the sexiest man alive. The most wonderful, excellent, rockingly cool guy this side of Mars. Who is this look-a-like? Well I’ve never watched the amazingly popular “Heroes” TV series (Though I love the Heroes of Might and Magic computer game series from 3DO and Ubisoft. Heroes III and IV rock!!) but my good friend Matt in America told me that as he watched the big bad of Heroes calmly suck out brains he couldn’t help notice a shocking resemblance between Sylar and…ME! I don’t know if it’s because he figured out the way that through my blog I suck out your brains and eat them with milk for breakfast, or if it’s because Sylar and I look similar physically. I may never know, but I do know that I kind of agreed that Sylar and I had a lot in common. So anyway, I don’t know a lot about Heroes so I can’t really do a full blown post about Sylar’s similarities to myself. But I will do a little search (Wikipedia rocks!) and then write a post full of jokes and innuendos about how I also enjoy brain sucking. But for now just drool over this look-a-like and imagine how sexy I must look, all sweaty from playing DDR in an underground café in Old Town. But wait, you don’t know about that yet. Allow my to tell you…

After I tell you about MySpace. Due to the irritating insistence of my friend Anneli (who has long since figured out that I’ll do most anything she wants, but not everything. Luckily she doesn’t want me to do anything I wouldn’t do) I have made a MySpace. Well not quite true, I figured out how to get into the MySpace I made 4 years ago in one night and then forgot (I had only wanted to make it because I thought if I had a cool MySpace girls would fall at my feet). And so now, because I am a slave to my friends, I have made a MySpace. A MySpace that still has the picture of myself I put up from 4 years ago. Back when the world was young and beautiful. So if you want to see a funny old picture of me then check out www.myspace.com/_kurisu_. Now why would my evil twin and I want to take over MySpace? So that we can kill it and force everyone to use FaceBook. Or force people to actually talk to each other and make friends in person. Is that even possible? I really don’t like MySpace. I’m going insane trying to get my stupid thing to look half decent! I put up a really cool background, with Jiraiya who is my hero for his quote “Jiraiya the man does not simply allow women to simply seduce him with their beauty! When you become great like me women will go crazy over your beauty.” Which is exactly my goal in life, become as great as Jiraiya so women will go crazy over me. And then when I had up the great background I realized that now no one could read most of the stuff written in my profile. So I spent more than an hour trying 5 other backgrounds and playing with all the text settings and making my profile look sickening before I realized I didn’t have time for a project of that magnitude and just stuck on some free advertising for www.megagame.com. So now I’m frustrated because I can’t make MySpace look like it’s really MY SPACE! The only thing I like on MySpace is the little music player. That’s cool, I’ve got it playing some fun Modest Mouse stuff. But other than that there’s nothing to do! No applications, no slayers or vampires, and not even a superhero powers application! The pain! I prefer FaceBook, but am still not going on until Sunday, and then not until the Sunday after that, and so on until Lent ends. So anyway, I’ll make a great MySpace pretty soon. Just you wait, it’ll be awesome!

Anyway, let’s get back to the real world now. I’m sure you’re all dying to know what I was doing playing Dance Dance Revolution (DDR). So I’ll tell you, I was looking stupid. I haven’t played DDR in years. I last played with my friend Matt (same one who pointed out my twin) and that was ages ago. But it’s a great story, how I ended up in my socks on a plastic mat in a café, so I’ll tell you the whole thing. My friend Elis (who doesn’t read my blog so I can probably harass here without fear) has been asking Anneli, Evelin and I to come with her to a café to play DDR for a while now. We’ve always had excuses before, because we thought that what Elis meant was “Do you want to go to a grungy bar and play a broken DDR game?” but today we had no excuses so we decided to take the risk and dive with Elis into the unknown. So Anneli, Evelin, Priit, Elis and myself all walked into old town. We walked to Viru street. We turned down an alley, past a pile of trash, heading in the direction of the gay bar. When we reached the gay bar we turned left (gay bar was on the right) down some dark steps that I wouldn’t have noticed without Elis. As I saw where we were going I thought to myself, “don’t worry man, if it’s some nasty dive full of drunks and freaks you can get out easily enough. And you won’t be alone in wanting to leave if there’s nothing interesting, so chill” so I was slightly more happy when I saw the brightly colored sign saying “Eat Here” Eat being the name of the restaurant the sign had 2 meanings. Then we went in and found a cozy and nicely lit café full of people playing games. There were board games and books, and in the corner a Playstation 2 in a big demo type stand like you’d see in an electronics store hooked up to 2 dance mats. This place was great! Elis bought an Orange juice, giving us the privilege of DDRing to our hearts content. And we did. We danced until our legs hurt. And we had loads of fun, and piles of laughs. It was great, I can’t wait to do it again! That was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I didn’t win very much though. I beat Priit and Evelin on their first tries but then when Priit challenged me to a rematch on “Pro” mode my feet just couldn’t keep up and I lost horrendously. But it was really fun, and we got tons of good pictures which I’ll put up later.

Anyway, now I’m very tired after my fun night, so I’m going to sleep. I’ll probably blog again tomorrow because I’m helping out the Methodists with some children’s program so that should be interesting. Anyway, until next time, goodnight!

Lent

Well, It's Mardi Gras, meaning lent starts tommorow. And I'm giving up FaceBook for lent and now that FaceBook imports all my blog posts as notes now this post is for all you FaceBook people especially. I am not ignoring you, I am not avoiding you. I'm just not going to be on FaceBook for a while. If you need to contact me for any reason you can do so through E-mail (chrisjohnclark@juno.com) or through my blog (www.chrischronicles.blogspot.com) but all through lent I will not be on Facebook. Except Sundays. I won't fast on Sundays because it's the sabbath and all that. So Hopefully you guys can survive without me on Heroes and Triumph for a little while. If not, tough! Cya

Sounds like me, doesn't it?

My spidey senses are tingling, there’s a disturbance in the force. Something is wrong.

All day I’ve been plagued with a deep sense of foreboding. This isn’t the first time this has happened to me. Several times in the past I’ve felt uneasy for no apparent reason and then found that something was wrong. I don’t know what it is but I can tell something’s up somewhere. I’m probing my mind trying to find anything to connect this to. But I’m drawing a blank. There’s a disturbance in the force, and I can feel it. I’m not like psychic or anything, I just know something’s up. I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, or if anyone has any idea what it is that I’m sensing, but if you know what’s up please let me know. It’s irritating me to no end. I really don’t know how to describe this feeling. And I haven’t been inspired to blog all week. Though there have been times that I’ve thought “Dude, I should totally blog this” I’ve been like blocked or something. So now, though I’m completely lacking in the area of creative content and inspiration, I’m blogging anyway. Maybe by blogging I’ll search my mind enough to figure out what’s freaking me out. Oh wait, I have an idea…

I have often thought about blogging about, well, my blog. More specifically about what my blog is. Many have described a blog as an online public diary. I think that sounds weird. If I still had a diary then I wouldn’t want you reading it. And the reason I keep a blog rather than a diary is because a blog keeps me firmly footed in reality. In a diary I could go off and fantasize and turn a passing feeling into some sickening 10 page testament to my own stupidity. But here I write reality. Mostly. So anyway, back to what my blog is. It’s not a diary. And though I often use it to write down what’s been happening lately, it’s not just a means of recording events either. My blog is the key to my mind. And not just for you, but for me also. Through reading my blog you could potentially get to know me sickeningly well. If you could pick up on every innuendo, veiled threat, hidden joke and insult in my blog, and get both sides of all my double meanings then you would know my whole story. Because what I write here is exactly what goes on in my mind. One reason why I like blogging so much is that if I’m having a problem and need to think then blogging causes me to probe my whole brain, not just the 1% I normally use. So I find the most interested things, some disturbing, some funny, all fascinating. So now you know, you are not just reading some slightly eccentric writings of mine, you are reading the deepest depths of the darkest corners of my eccentric mind. I hope you find it interesting.

So, what to blog about…I need more. I don’t know why, but this feeling persists, and now it’s joined by another feeling, I need to keep blogging until I hit something good. Well I’ll tell you some of what’s been going on lately. Yesterday (Saturday) Anneli, Evelin, Priit and I stuck my N64, 4 controllers, 007: GoldenEye, Perfect Dark and a Power Converter in my backpack and brought it to the corps and spent 4 hours shooting each other into oblivion. It was loads of fun, especially for me. The biggest reason I got an N64 was to play with my friends, and I love playing with my friends because I almost always win. I don’t know why I’ve always been so good with video games, I just always have been. So, much to the irritation of my friends, even when they teamed up, 3 on 1, I still won by a wide margin. So I had a great time. Mindless slaughter brings me great joy. Then after that Anneli, Priit and I hit the town to take even more cool pictures. By the way, last Sunday Anneli, Evelin and I took tons of pictures in Old Town, 597 to be exact, and all of them are on FaceBook if you want to check them out. And by the way, if you’re not my friend on FaceBook, or not a part of my “The Chronicles of Chris” fan club on FaceBook, then you should become my friend and join my group.

And speaking of FaceBook…Lent is coming, the goose is getting fat. And because it is customary to give up something for lent, I will too. I thought about a lot of things to give up. Video games? No, I don’t play them that much anymore anyway. All electronics (TV, Computer, Video games, MP3 player)? No way could I survive that. Sex? Well, the thing about that is that giving it up wouldn’t really be a sacrifice because you can’t give up what you don’t have. So I decided to give up FaceBook. It’s actually a bigger sacrifice than you might think, and I spend far too much time on it every day. So I can take that time and use it for bible reading, and prayer and schoolwork. 3 things I need a million times more than FaceBook. So throughout lent if you want to contact me, and would normally do so through FaceBook, than please E-mail me (chrisjohnclark@juno.com) or comment on my blog, because I’ll keep blogging and doing E-mail, but no more FaceBook.

So now I’m stuck once again, and don’t know what to say. I probably won’t be posting this post tonight, so if I get a brainwave I can blog. But now I need to go fight the ninja assassin that thinks I haven’t sensed his presence all day. Let’s see how he likes me beating him in a game of 007…


P.S. I still sense a disturbance, if any of you really did get attacked by ninjas today let me know.