Okay, it's more than that. Marriage is weird. But marriage
in general is two big for one post, so let's focus here.
I've been trying to figure our how to articulate this for a
while and it took an episode of Modern Family and, as usual, pulling out my
notebook and writing during church. I remember reading somewhere that Brian
Jacques came up with part of Redwall in church. It's a good place to get the
writing juices flowing. Even if it makes you look terribly un-devout.
The episode of Modern Family, Punkin Chunkin (Which iscurrently available for free on Hulu), had a nice little food for thought
moment at the end. You know how sitcoms do that sometimes; They're like
"well, that certainly was a silly episode but we've managed to squeeze a
moral in here too. You can thank us later for BLOWING YOUR MIND WITH
PROFUNDITY!!" Yeah, just like that. Anyway, the moral of this story is
that there are two types of people in the world: dreamers and realists. You
would think dreamers would marry dreamers and realists would marry realists but
that's often not how it happens. In fact, in Jenny and my marriage that's not
how it happened.
Jenny is a dreamer. She went to church today in a tie-dyed
dress. I wore a black t-shirt with a black button up shirt over it. Yes, black
on black. I'm that bad of a realist. Meh, gift and a curse. Jenny and I view
the world in very different ways and plan in very different ways. For example,
neither of us know where we're going with our future. I've been looking at
apartments and found quite a nice and affordable one in Schenectady. The other
day Jenny said, "After we're done in Fillmore why don't we just move to
Schenectady and see what happens?" I am a realist (or pessimist) so I
think we'd be better of applying to every McDonald's on the East Coast and
moving wherever they're hiring. We're under-qualified, inexperienced fresh
college grads. No one wants us.
But, my realism aside, we do need to do something. That's
where being different is good. Jenny gives me something more than McDonald's to
dream about, and I try to make her dreams work.
But didn't I start out by saying marriage is weird? Yeah, I
did. Though it is good it's also just bizarre. To be joined together with, be
one entity with, another person who thinks so utterly differently (and often
what I would consider illogically) than I do is at times just downright uncomfortable.
Differences that compliment each other are good; but differences are still
differences. It's a big adjustment.
Now, the title of this post mentions spirituality with, up
to this point, I haven't talked about. As I mentioned earlier I wrote a lot of
this in my notebook at church so I have to talk about spirituality, at least a
little, or else God may smite me for letting writing distract me during church.
Jenny is "non-denominational." All the cool kids
are these days, at least at Houghton. I'm the loser who stuck with my
denomination because I feel at home, and called, here. Nothing against
non-denominational people, it just is, and has been, an adjustment to be
marrying one.
Today during church Jenny took communion. For any
non-Salvationists reading this you're probably thinking, "well, duh,
that's what Christians do at church, right?" Well, not Salvationists. Not
me. The Salvation Army isn't against communion, it's just not a tradition we
practice for a multitude of reasons I don't have the space to go into here.
So, what do I do during communion? It depends. Sometimes I
pray. Other times I pull out the Bible and read. Still other times, like today,
I write. But I just sit there. Whether it's a "pass around" communion
where the body and blood come past us or a "come and get it"
communion where everybody lines up (this is where I am most noticeable in my
non-participation) I do my own thing and people often notice. It's not bad or a
problem, it's just a little awkward. To not be partaking in a ritual that's
happening all around you is a strange experience. What makes it a step stranger
is that my wife does participate.
Jenny and I spent hours and hours in the early stages of our
relationship discussing our faith. We both know what the other believes and
respect each other in the areas where we differ. Every time we are in a church
and there is communion Jenny offers not to take communion if it makes me more
comfortable and every time I answer in complete honesty that I don't mind if
she does and that it's between her and God, not between her and I. This in my
mind would be like if I was reading in 2 Corinthians and Jenny said that made her
feel uncomfortable and would prefer I read in 1 Corinthians. Both books are
good, and it's between God and I where I read. In the same way though it's a
little awkward communion is between Jenny and God, and I don't think I should
have say. Just because communion is a tradition I don't practice or because it
has a significance to Jenny that I don't fully comprehend is no reason to make
her miss out.
So Jenny usually takes communion.
What's weird to me is that as a married unit we have become
one. We pray together. We read the Bible together. We sleep together. We are
one, yet fundamentally different. Inherently different in some areas. We are
two different people in one marriage entity--yet still two.
To some people this might be a bigger deal. To me it's about
as disturbing as the fact that she prefers to play Soul Caliber II on my X-Box
(that's what's been keeping her occupied while I write this) while I stick to
Blacklight: Retribution on my laptop (even if this four year old machine means
I have to run the game on minimum everything). It's just strange to be
discovering new ways in which we are unified every day and at the same time
finding new ways in which we are different.
Not bad, just--different.
Anyway, that's my rambling for today. It feels good to be
blogging again. If you, my dear reader, know of any job opportunities please,
please, please let me know. I am quite unemployed.
Looking forward to writing again soon. Comments are always
welcome!
