Oh, how i hate being single....

it's been a while since i've done a blog post about my thoughts, so here you go. lately i have been thinking about what many single teenagers spend lots of time thinking about, the sad fact that i am totally single. i don't have anything close to a girlfriend, and haven't for a long time and probably won't get a girlfriend for god knows how long. and being single is very lonely (even when you live with 4 other people) and also it makes me personally very annoyed to see any happy couples. i see these people walking around, arms around each other, big smiles on thier faces and i get a horrible temptation to chop those smiles off with a rather large machate! I HATE BEING SINGLE!! i am officially declaring that. but from past experience i've learned that for the most part having a girlfriend is more trouble than it's worth and brings me more trouble and pain and anger and all that annoying junk than happiness. so i guess you could say i hate that too. but i am completely human (as far as i can tell) and really spend more time than is logical wishing i had a girlfriend. i these three books, all written by a really cool guy name Joshua Harris, that are all about dating and all that junk. there's "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", "Boy Meets Girl" and "Not Even A Hint". all great christian books but even with all three of them i still hate being single, and i still wish i had a girlfriend. and have you ever had that feeling that the whole world is against you? i seriously feel like even the bible is against me. check out these verses: Proverbs 5:18-19 says "Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be satisfied by her love." now at the risk of sounding like a pervert i will say that sounds really good!! then all of Song of Songs is against me. heres just some of my favourite (heavy sarcasm) bits: Song Of Songs 7:6-9 "'Oh how delightful you are, my beloved; how pleasant for utter delight! You are tall and slim like a palm tree, and your breasts are like it's clusters of dates. I said 'I will up into the palm tree and take hold of its branches.' Now may your breasts be like grape clusters, and the scent of your breath like apples. May your kisses be as exciting as the best wine, smooth and sweet, flowing gently over lips and teeth." now that all sounds almost comical but come on, thats no fair to all us single guys. you mind as well just shoot us now. in 1 Corinthians 7:9 it says "But if they can't control themselves they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry then to burn with lust." but my only problem with that is i'm 16, marriage is one heck of a long way off!! and don't think i'm single because i'm some kind of loser, i'm single because i choose to be (partly because i'm stupid (or smart?) enough to read books with names like "i kissed dating goodbye"), i have three (no kidding) girls in the country of estonia who have told me they like me and would date me if i was interested, to bad i'm NOT!! well actually i am, that was the whole point of this blog post. so anyway i know you guys are all gonna think i'm stupid for writing all that, i'm basically writing and complaining because i set rules for myself, don't like them, but am still sticking by them. i decided this summer after a horrible relationship not to date until i was ready to make the commitment to be married, which at 16 i am most definitely not. so anyway, i'm probably going to hell now for saying the bible *seems* to be against me, but whatever. that is how it feels. so anyway i'm going to go back to my lonely, christian bachelor existence, Cya all later...

You lonely single friend,
Chris the tortured one

P.S. this post was mean to maike you laugh, not to be depressing or nothing, so go laugh, like "HAHA" or something.

hey guys...

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i'm so happy!!!

i just had a great weekend!! i had a ton of friends over for going up and had a great time, and now as an added bonus i saw that two people commented saying i can listen to my fave radio online and now...as i write this...i am!!! apparently they put that online in the last 12 months because i didn't know about it, but whatever. so i'm very happy and at the moment i can't think of anything to blog about except this. this is just stupid and funny. today in sunday school my mom talked about holiness, and she said some famous person had once that holiness was like garlic, everyone knew if you had it. but i thought quite a different thing. holiness is quite like garlic for one good reason, it's good for scaring off vampires!! i know you guys are all going to try to drive big juicy steaks through my heart so i think i should get out of here. bye everyone!!

AHHH!! the torture...stop tantalizing me...

guess what just happened? i was down in my room and decided to do some channel surfing on my radio, which, being in a foreign country with a different language, is alwasy an adventure. so i started at the right and slowly, milimeter by tiny milimeter, i searched the stations. first i got a talking station, boring in almost any language but worse because i can't understand it. then i moved on. static...static...was that a latvian station i heard through the static?...static...static...disco...english guy talking...stat-what? someone talking in english? that's never happend before!! i turned the thingy back to roughly 106 FM and heard some guy talking about bach. normally i would have gone back to my channel searching but i haven't heard english language radio in so long!! i kept jiggling the thingy trying to get the radio to pick up station better because the wondeful english voice was coming through thick enough static i could have cut through it with a knife. so after about two minutes of frantically trying to keep this channel, the first english radio i had heard in almost a year, the signal faded, and to my horror i couldn't get it back. isn't that sad? man i really miss american radio. if anyone out there lives in pennsylvania or maine then can i ask you a favor? can you, if you live in PA, go to 100.3 Y100 and record it for me and send it to me? please!?!?? that used to be my favorite radio station. or if you live in maine then figure out whatever number WHYY is and record that, because i miss american radio, and would kill for ten minutes of a good rock station.

now i actually seriously doubt that any of you actually will send me anything so i'm noit gonna put up my address, but if you're the nicest person on earth, to whom i will be forever endebted, and will forever love, then email me (chrisjohnclark@juno.com) and i'll give you my address. well thats all for now, i think i might write more later tonight, but right now i'm just bored of typing, Cya!!

A tale of stupidity and woe...well mostly woeful stupidity.

just so you all can know how horribly crazy and stupid i am i'm going to tell you the story of what i did last night. last night, after going down to my room at 10:30, i was bored and not quite tired enough for sleep yet so i decided i would figure out a cure to cabin fever (which i am suffering from in the extreme). and my first thought was i need to move around, but i never was good at jumpinmg jacks so i thought some more. maybe a change of suroundings would help, so i knew i had one hope, i had to move and change my suroundings all at once. so i decided to do two things, first of all clean my room, second of all rearange it. so after some basic cleaning i figured out the perfect plan, to rearange my room i would clear off my desk, put my X-box and TV on one of my bookshelves closer to my bed (so i can sit in bed and play X-box, oh yeah!!) and store my ever unused Nintendo 64(N64) under my bed. this plan worked great as i packed up the N64 and stuck it under my bed, then i had to deal with the TV and X-box, that's where the problems started. i decided that to be able to plug in my Xbox and TV in thier new position i would have snake thier power cords around behind the bookcases to get to my american power strip, which had to still be able to plug into my american power transformer (in case you didn't know there is different power in europe and therefore i have to use all sorts of nasty electrical gizmos just to turn on my american lamp, isn't that sad?) without causing any sort of tripping hazard. so after spending a good five minutes thinking (i think to much) i figured out how to do it, but this master plan would involve me pulling out the book cases just a bit, only like this much "----", but still, that was aperantly to much. because after mvoing one bookcases just that much ("----") three big heavy books on religion (always the heaviest) came and smacked me straight in the side of the face, which made me say one very loud exclamation. other people all have thier favorite exclamation, you know, when they hit thier finger on a nail they go ****. but for me when i get hurt i like to yell, very loudly, this one word. don't worry, this isn't one of those evil four letter words (like love, love is definitely a bad four letter word) i just yell...(do i dare type it?)..."OWWWWCH!!!!". but anyway after geting smacked in the head i decided i had to finish it because i'd already been injured so i needed to see some results or my injury would be in vain. so after finally threading all those wires, and getting my hands pinched several times, i finally had got it all set up. but of course nothing ever works first time for me so i after popping a music CD into my X-box and lying back on my bed to rest i noticed something, with my X-box and TV next to each other i couldn't see the TV!! so at first i remembered that the Playstation 2 (PS2) can also be played when the system is standing on its side, so, being a experimental type, i decided to try it. so after standing my X-box up on end i tried to put in a CD, it slid out, i tried again, slid out, and i tried again and again and so on. so i finally just held the CD and made it stay inside but once it got inside and started spinning it made all sorts of nasty noises, so i decided something , "i should probably take out my CD before it gets broken!!", and so i did. and so feeling quite defeated i just unplugged my X-box and dropped it (not literally) next to the TV on the other side, closer to the power outlet and just a much more logical place on the whole. so, thus inspired, i set up my X-box. and now i have a cool new set up for my room and the memory of all the fun i had doing it.

the other thing i did last night that made me feel quite stupid was this, i did surgery, CD surgery. i have one X-box game that i really enjoy, it's two games on one disk, Star Wars:Clone Wars and Tetris Worlds (no matter how old tetris gets they never stop making new ones) and this disk is quite scratched up (i bought it used) and i decided that i should fix it. i have been asking around about how to fix it for roughly the last 6 months, and the most common reply i got of how to fix it is..."use toothpaste"? isn't that odd? but everyone has said "oh, i've done that, it really helps" or "it's great, the toothpaste fills in the cracks" and so on. so i decided that i wanted to fix this game, and i wanted to do it now! so i went and got the tube of toothpaste i keep in my room, and i went to the sink in the shower room and did the unthinkable, i spread toothpaste all over my CD. after putting on the toothpaste and then washing it of my disk looked shiny and brand new! i was so happy!! but by the time i got to my room the disk started to look cloudy, and when i stuck it in my X-box it wouldn't even recognize that it was an X-box game (it used to just say "this X-box game is dirty or damaged", but believe me, i have cleaned that disk so much...) so feeling very sad and defeated i stuck my now forever ruined game in it's case and went to sleep, i think today i'll try washing it off again and see if i can save it, but i think by following the advice of my friends and family i have killed my disk, *sigh*, so sad. well, whatever, Cya!!

hi everyone...or if i'm only talking to two people does it make it everytwo?

hey everyone, two or three. how's life on the the other side of the computer screen? is there life on other computers?(get it like "is there life on other planets?" get it? come on!!) hey guess what? it's getting warmer!! it's still much colder than i'd like it but it's such a difference from before. you guys wanna hear something cool? i already got two comments on my last post, one by "The Pretty Southern Girl" and the other by "BrownEyedGirl". if i keep getting comments from girls it's gonna start going to my head. and i think i should just clear up a few things about my last post, the whole point of my last post was that i was stuck in the middle of a big nasty fit of pure jealousy. i was not talking about myself, and the blond girl i was refering to is the girlfriend of some popular guy i barely even know (he ignores me, which is why i hate him) and i did not mean to insult her, blonds, or the female half of the human species with anything i said. i thank those of you who are praying for me, it makes me feel really cared for that people across the globe who i've never met, who owe me nothing, care enough to pray for me. thats really cool ;-).

wel anyway, i think i should blog now, so let me just tell you something quick and cool that happened today. i was babysitting peter (my baby brother) like i always do and i was trying to get him interested in something so i picked up this super man piggy bank he got for christmas and started zooming it around going "whheerrr!!! mweeerrr!! pkheewweee!!" you know, flying super man noises. and of course peter, being almost 2, was much to inteligent to be entertained by such a stupid thing as his brother waving around a hunk of plastic and making funny noises. but i of course have learned something very important from watching galaxy quest to much, i have learned this phrase "never give up, never surrender!!" so i kept on going, swinging this poor super man around until suddenly after a rather sharp turn i lost my grip and dropped him. now of course this did nothing for me but peter saw this and thought it was hillarious (told you he was smart) and so from then on i spent a good 15 minutes swinging around, and then dropping, super man. so i don't know why i told you that, just felt like i should blog about something, now i gotta go, i'll Cya later!

I'm Crap! Your Crap! This Computer Is Probably Crap Too!! And Most Of All, Crap Is Crap!!

hey guys, guess what? i feel like...crap!! bet you couldn't have guessed that!! why do i feel like crap? a whole lot of reasons. but first i want to aplogize because i think my blog is getting a little more depressing. first of all, it's COLD!!! and i'm sick. i have a cold, colds are so nasty and annoying aren't they? i probably got it from spending so much time at the computer blogging away freezing cold!! but anyway, i'm also depressed because of this whole "the grass is always greener on the other side" phenomen. because i keep looking around at the other missionaries in estonia and i look and i say "look at them, they have so many friends, they're so lucky" or "look at him, he knows how to really play an instrument, and him and all his friends play instruments together" or "looking at stupid mr. popular with his ugly blond girlfriend. god, how i hate that guy!! (but who wouldn't i kill to be able to switch places with him for one day?)" so i am just feeling very sick, depressed and tired. that's another thing, i haven't been sleeping much lately. i keep having really freaky dreams. the two scariest of which are the ones where nuclear war breaks out and the one where i lose my mp3 player. and i won't go intro detail about any this dreams because nobody wants to hear about how i dreamed about losing my mp3 and because i thought of a very interesting way of causeing nuclear explosions all over the world without launching a single nuclear warhead, and that's just freaky. but the problem with having freaky dreams all night is that i wake up, and the i take like half an hour to get back to sleep, so basicly i'm not really sleeping much at all. why can't i just go back to that dream where i'm playing chess with a hot chick who slaps me everytime i kill one of her pieces? so anyway instead today of saying "pity me" i want you guys to pray for me. because you know pity never did anyone much good, but prayer is quite a different story. so if you guys can just pray i survive until april (thats my goal) then i will be most greatful. thank you everyone, Goodbye.

"Hey mama, i just finished defrosting my toes so i'm gonna go blog now"

Br-r-r-r-r-r!! another -27 day here in estonia, freezing my butt off. but today is worse for several reasons, first of all the cold is just getting on my nerves. on almost all the windows there is ive on the edges, and the most annoying place is the bathroom. i have always thought that having a window in your bathroom is a perverted idea, but now it's worse. for anyone who has ever used my bathroom you know it is rather small. and you also know that the window is right next to the toilet. so just imagine going to the toilet right next to a frosted window. i won't go into detail i will just say it is rather cold and unpleasent. the second thing so bad about today was at roughly 8:30 (i know i should've been awake but, enh, whatever) my mom called me on my mobile which while i'm asleep is usually right next my head whie i sleep. so hearing my phone going nuts 3 inches from my head woke me up in a rather unruffled manner. i stood up, attempted to rub my eyes but almost made them black and blue, swatted at my phone in an attempt to shut it, knocked it on to the floor, and then, having achieved enough chaos for my first thirty seconds, i stomped up the stairs to see what the heck could be the matter. so finnaly after bumping into the wall on my way up i got up to my parent's room and asked my mom what was wrong. she told me that elizabeth had told her the pipes were frozen, so she wanted me to carry the big metal heater down to the basement and turn it on full blast, then open the door of my nice heated room and urn the heat of full blast, and then to have my dad make some fires down there, and of course make them full blast. so still feeling tired and stupid i picked up the heater and lugged it down to the basement, dropped it down and went to ask my dad where to plug it in. when i found him he told me only the kitchen pipes were frozen so i didn't need to bring that heater downstairs and i should bring it upstairs. so still feeling rather stupid and now slightly annoyed i took the heater back upstairs and told my mom only the kitchen pipes were frozen. so should told me i should bring that big, fat, heavy, stupid, metal heater back downstairs, and put it in the kitchen on the table. what? on the table? you crazy? she said that way it would heat the whole room. so now feeling very stupid and much more then slightly annoyed i picked up the stupid metal heater and dumped it on the kitchen table plugged it in and then had a revelation, i can't eat at the table if a big, fat, stupid heater is on it! so i grabbed a bowl, a spoon, the milk, and the cereal and sat on the couch to shove it all down. now you must admit that was a lot o carrying of big, fat, stupid heaters. so you cann all pity me now...oh come on!! don't you know how to pity a guy? blagh!! so there!!

anyway, the final that made this demonically cold day evil was this, i had to be out in the cold for like half an hour!! on monday we knew that this week was going to be very cold and therefore before it got really cold i brought in five loads of wood, which is a lot, A LOT, of wood. so because i brought in so much this whole week i have not had to go out and get wood, meaning i got to sit inside and just be all nice and warm. but today my dad ran out of wood, and i had to go and get wood, but what made that bad was not just the -27 weather, it was that i wanted to get enough wood so i wouldn't have to go out again for a while, so that meant bringing in a lot of wood. so i'm pretty sure i brought in four loads, but after the second load the cold started getting to me and i don't really remember much except that i kept sing linkin park's "numb" to my toes, sing "i've become so numb, i can't feel you there..." and i was quoting donkey from shrek going "i can't feel my toes, i don't have any toes! i need a hug..."

actually speaking of linkin park's song "numb" remind's me of something. i was on yahoo music yesterday and i noticed something, they don't have the linkin park videos on there anymore!! it scared me so bad i didn't even try to check the Evanescence or Relient K videos. i'm so scared that i'll never see my true love again...oh, by the way, did i tell you i feel in love with the girl from the linkin park "numb" music video? i even had a picturee of her for a while and kept telling everyone it was my real girlfriend, they actually believed me! hah! it's so funny!! but anyway, mrs. Wittenberg, if your reading this please tell sarah that yahoo doesn't have linkin park videos anymore, because i think if both me and her write letters threatening to hit the "Yahoo!" headquarters with nuclear missiles they might listen. which reminds me...

a lot of stuff reminds me of stuff. i was thinking about the wittenberg family yesterday (or more specifically sarah wittenberg) because i finnally figured out how to play the piano part from "numb". i thought "me and sarah can do some really cool linkin park kareoke now" but then i remembered...the wittenbergs left...and i forgot to blog about it...stupid, stupid, stupid!! well anyway last sunday i visited tallinn for the wittenbergs last sunday in estonia, because despite the fact that last friday there had been a stupid "official" goodbye for them i had wanted to say bye like a human being, not like some "official" robot. i was also kinda hoping for a hug from meaghan or sarah but...maybe that was a little unrealistic of an idea. but anyway the wittenbergs, the corps officers in tallinn since i moved here have gone home to america. and i know that as soon as sarah gets a chance she will taunt me by eating a philly cheese steak and drinking root beer while i watch helplessly on the webcam. (and that's not a joke, i wouldn't be surprised if she did that just to bug me ;-)) because of all the ironic places the went to the philadelphia pioneer corps, like half an hour from where i used to live. so i'm sure i'll see them again whether they like it or not.

well anyway, i told you about my horrible day but do you wanna hear the sad part? it's only 1:33, the days only half over, tons of evil stuff will surely still happen. but what ever, if nothing bad ever happened it would take all the fun out of life. Cya!!

It-it-it's ss-s-so c-c-cold!!!

h-hey, it's f-freezing c-cold h-here. i'm sh-shivering. and i'll stop typing my shivering because it's annoying. this morning i woke and looked at the thermometer and saw something terrifying, -27 degrees celcius!! talk about cold!! that's like -13 fareinheit!! geez it is cold!! now normally that would be nothing, if i were in america we would have a nice warm, well insulated house. and we'd have a warm, well heated van as a bonus. but here we have a fairly nice house, but if you walk about to any crack you mind as well be sticking your hand out the window! the house let's in all the cold!! and forget the windows, they mind as well be wide open with a fan next to them for all the good they do! and right here as i'm blogging i'm right up against a window, wearing a a hat and a jacket to keep from freezing. the only problem is i have nothing to warm my fingers that doesn't restrict my movement, so like i can't type with gloves on, and i can't keep warm fingers and type at the same time. so basicly to bring you this blog post i am freezing my fingers off, you guys better be thankful!!! everyone say thank you chris....or not, if you want. what ever.

so anyway theres not much to blog about besides that it's cold, so i'm gonna just tell you about my thoughts recently. lately i've been feeling very depressed, unsatisfied and discontented. no this is not going to be a very depressing post. and no i'm not going to be like the robot from the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy ("i think you should know i'm feeling very depressed today"). i just wanted to give you my stupid thoughts. lately i've been just feeling unhappy, like i want something. and therefore i have been trying very hard to find what it is. some times i've thought i should play new video games, and believe it or not even that got old after a while. then i thought maybe i need to listen to some new music, nope, not helping. then i thought maybe i need a girlfriend, i entertained that thought for around thirty seconds before reminding myself that having a girlfriend has never been a good thing in the past and most definitely won't be now. then i sat back and i got a picture in my mind that seemed to fit what i wanted. i now know what i want, there is one thing i want, one thing i would give anything for, that thing is this: i want to take off my socks and slippers, my hat, sweater, and warm fleeces, and i want to run out side bare foot and in a T-shirt. that's all i want in life at the moment. now of course i could do that right now, but i would get frostbite. so for now i need to sustain myself with video games, music, and, well, music and video games. so now i think i'm gonna go and do schoolwork, or play with andrei, ehtel, and elizabeth, whatever, i just need to get away from this cold computer, Cya.

from freezing cold Estonia with lots and lots of cold, cold love,
Chris

Post #100-Yeehaw!!! i'm on my 100th post!!!

hey everyone!! this blog post is a party!! this is my one hundreth post!! i've been planning this post since post #83. i'm so excited! i just want to thank anyone who has read all one hundred, or even fifty. i know it's hard to keep up with my erratic and illogically crazy posts, so thank you. so now to celebrate my one hundreth post i'm gonna do somethings special. the first special things this, do you see that picture at the top of this post? that's me blogging! every day i work so hard to climb up onto that big chair so i can blog, its hard work for a guy my size. not really, really thats a picture of my brother, he was trying to help me with my blog, he was thinking he could add some stuff to it. but sadly that didn't work out. another special is something which i think i've only done once before, i'm gonna put on some poetry. now i know that putting poetry on my blog seems like such a nasty girly thing to do but hey, this is a cool poem. so anyway this written by some dude named James Weldon Johnson (you ever notice that poets always put thier middle names?) and it says it's a "negro sermon from GOD'S TROMBONES", it's called, the creation.

The Creation

By James Weldon Johnson

And God stepped out on space,

And he looked around and said:

I'm lonely -

I'll make me a world.

And far as the eye of God could see

Darkness covered everything,

Blacker than a hundred midnights

Down in a cypress swamp.

Then God smiled,

And the light broke,

And the darkness rolled up on one side,

And the light stood shining on the other,

And God said: That's good!

Then God reached out and took the light in his hands,

And God rolled the light around in his hands

Until he made the sun;

And he set that sun a-blazing in the heavens.

And the light that was left from making the sun

God gathered it up in a shining ball

And flung it against the darkness,

Spangling the night with the moon and stars.

Then down between

The darkness and the light

He hurled the world;

And God said: That's good!

Then God himself stepped down -

And the sun was on his right hand,

And the moon was on his left;

The stars were clustered about his head,

And the earth was under his feet.

And God walked, and where he trod

His footsteps hollowed the valleys out

And bulged the mountains up.

Then he stopped and looked and saw

That the earth was hot and barren.

So God stepped over to the edge of the world

And he spat out the seven seas -

He batted his eyes, and the lightnings flashed -

He clapped his hands, and the thunders rolled -

And the waters above the earth came down,

The cooling waters came down.

Then the green grass sprouted,

And the little red flowers blossomed,

The pine tree pointed his finger to the sky,

And the oak spread out his arms,

The lakes cuddled down in the hollows of the ground,

And the rivers ran down to the sea;

And God smiled again,

And the rainbow appeared,

And curled itself around his shoulder.

Then God raised his arm and he waved his hand

Over the sea and over the land,

And he said: Bring forth! Bring forth!

And quicker than God could drop his hand,

Fishes and fowls

And beasts and birds

Swam the rivers and the seas,

Roamed the forests and the woods,

And split the air with their wings.

And God said: That's good!

Then God walked around,

And God looked around

On all that he had made.

He looked at his sun,

And he looked at his moon,

And he looked at his little stars;

He looked on his world

With all its living things,

And God said: I'm lonely still.

Then God sat down -

On the side of a hill where he could think;

By a deep, wide river he sat down;

With his head in his hands,

God thought and thought,

Till he thought: I'll make me a man!

Up from the bed of the river

God scooped the clay;

And by the bank of the river

He kneeled him down;

And there the great God Almighty

Who lit the sun and fixed it in the sky,

Who flung the stars to the most far corner of the night,

Who rounded the earth in the middle of his hand;

This Great God,

Like a mammy bending over her baby,

Kneeled down in the dustToiling over a lump of clay

Till he shaped it in his own image;

Then into it he blew the breath of life,

And man became a living soul.

Amen. Amen.

whew, what a cool poem. don't you love it? yeah i know i'm a nerd but i think that's a cool poem. but to get the full effect get a black gospel preacher to read it, that would be cool. now i lately have been watching my brother a lot, and one video we like to watch is "Lamb Chop's Play Along". i don't know how many of have seen this show but i remember it from when i was very young, so watching it with my baby brother is really fun. and at the end of every episode they sing a song, to the great annoyance of the main person of course, called "The Song That Never Ends" and the horrible thing about this song is it doesn't end, ever. if you start singing it you are trapped into singing it for an eternity. now since they sing at the every episode i wanted to see if could make it so whenever you got to the end of a blog post you could a little recording of me singing the song until i pass out. well i'm sad to say i can't do that but i can, because i'm so cool, write out the lyrics and you can sing it to yourself. here we go:

This is the song that never ends,

it just goes on and on my friends.

Some people

started sing it

not knowing what it was,

now they'll keep on singing it forever just because...

this is the song that never ends,

it just goes on and on my friends.

Some people

started sing it

not knowing what it was,

now they'll just keep on sing it forever just because...

ETC... ETC...

isn't that annoying? and i only did it twice!! now don't you feel bad for those poor people who are stuck singing it? oh wait. you're on too, i told you to sing so you should now be trapped in an endless cycle of singing until you slowly go...insane!!! muhhahahahaha!!! (lightning flashing, dark night, yadayadayadayu) well now i'm done, so see you all later!

Post #99-Test!!

agh!!!! test!!! the evil word!!! run for your life!!! just be careful not to hurt your computer as you run screaming from the room. i just got back from estonian class where i had a test. normally this wouldn't be so bad, but, well, we had class vacation all through december. and then i skipped the last 2 classes, one because i had to, the other because i just didn't feel like going. so i haven't been to class in roughly a month, and of course i haven't studfied either. my philosophy on studying is that if you didn't learn it in class then it's your teachers fault, not yours, so you shouldn't be the one punished by having to study. now of course put up against any logic this philosophy makes as much sense as the "my friend jumped off the cliff so maybe i should too" philosophy. so basicly it was my own laziness that kept me from studying. but that's beside the point. so anyway i get to class today and every's sitting here with their books out studying and i'm like "tere" and then they tell me the wonderful news. "there's a test today!" oh great, not only is there a test but almost everyone but me knows about it and feels ready for it. crud. but anyway. so this was a test on chapters 1-10 in our books, ok, cool, i got that. thats all the simple stuff. i use chapters 1-5 just saying "olge vait ja mine magama!!"("shut up and go to sleep!!") which i did alot at camp in loksa, at 4 in the morning. so this test was pretty basic, changing word forms, telling the time, basic replies to common phrases and so on. so i did ok, but not great. because of course the second i heard we were going to have a test my brain started systematically erasing everything useful from my brain. so of course being nervous like i was my already horrid handwriting was even worse, and my already feeble understanding of the whole word form thing was non-existent. all in all, junky conditions for a test. then my mom reminded me of a simple phrase from the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, "DON'T PANIC" printed in large friendly letters. so i did that, calmed down and did what i alwasy do when i'm having trouble with estonian, i focus my mind on some estonians (almost always teenage girls) who i would like to be able to speak to completely in estonian. then i draw my motivation from that. i didn't really focus on anyone particular this time, i just thought about going to english camp and being able to speak estonian to the estonians. and i pictured leading the you th group(more on that later) completeley in estonian. and i also pictured the people at the kolgata(calvary in english) church youth group. i used to go to thier youth group, but i am so sick of sitting with a translator whispering in my ear. and then there is always the outsider feeling that comes from not understanding a word said around you. but anyway, that was the big goal i focused on, if by the end of 2006 i can go without a translater i will be so happy. so that motivated me. well to be truthful, what really motivated me is that then i could go talk to my georgous friends kristi and mariliis (know i'm not spelling right) from kolgata, if i can get down estonian. so many future goals...so little time...so anyway, with my head full of wondeful motivation i charged at the test full force, and i don't think i did half bad, maybe 49% bad, but not a full 50% half.

so now i'm starving. I NEED FOOD!!!! FOOD!!!! FOOD!!!! so i'm gonna go. oh, and i said i would tell you more about our youth group later. and now it's later. it could be later tommorow too but...i'll be nice. well anyway. tonight is youth group here at salvation army tartu and guess who's in charge? me! i'm leading it. but in english. and i have to use the most annoying translater on earth. so some day i will lead it without a translater, i'll do it all in estonian. but anyway, that's the future, right now i have one goal, FOOD!!!!!!

Not Much To Report Today...

not much happened today. it was just, like, a day. or something. i just finished a big supper and that always leaves me feeling very apathetic. so i'm just gonna say something short about yesterday's blog post. both that cool little part where i told you about my video gaming nerdliness, and that part about the whole dateing-movie thing, were there to annoy one person. but i'm not sure that person read it...but anyway i just want to add something to the end of that little thing about movies and dating. i had really not even thought of the whole "scary-action-movie-put-your-arm-around-the-girl" thing. but someone pointed this out to me and, yes, that does sound nice. i can imagine it now "ahhh, Chris!! it's a scary rancor monster!! save me!!". but i think just to be fair i should point out that i would be much to busy swinging around a toy lightsaber yelling "get 'em luke!! you can do it!! use the forks!!" to put my arm around anything. so now that i have given you yet another, stupid waste of five minutes blog post i must say goodbye. so, uh, goodbye.

Happy Birthday To Me, I Am Sixteen, I Smell Like A Monkey, 'Cause I'm Sixteen.

Hey everyone, i'm sixteen! muhahahahahaha *cough cough*. dude, every time i do that...i swear it must be bad for my throat. well anyway, i'm sixteen now. i'mn still waiting for something big and scary to happen. maybe next week, i'll see. right now i am going to warn you, this will be a long blog post, if all goes well. so if you are sick of me already then just hit the friendly red "X" in the upper right hand corner of your screen, but...if your madly in love with me then keep reading. i had a great birthday yesterday, i spent lots of time on the computer (not blogging or doing in anything consctructive, just playing) watched a new movie (more on that later) and ate some delicious cake. can you believe my parents actually used our AMERICAN cake mix for my birthday? and the frosting too? it's beyond belief...but oooohhh so tasty. and i have got to say (and i'm *not* joking for the first time since...well...ever) that i am seriously touched by the fact that i got sent so many e-cards. people who i'm sure i probably wouldn't even thought of sent me e-cards, and i even had a few surprises along the way (i never knew so many people read my blog) and i am really, really touched. thank you all. but hust aqs a a warning if anyone says this is my "sweet sixteen" one more time i'll kill 'em, my uncle can say it because he's just cool like that, but the next person is gonna eat my keyboard! with cheese and bread of course, you wouldn't want to eat nasty plastic without some bread and cheese. so anyway, i already got sidetracked.

now i'm going to tell you about the movie i watched. on my birthday my parents did something so unlike them. without much thought or planning, without careful consideration and research (all four of these things i have called "the murderers of good ideas") my parents just said "is there any movie you want to buy?" my parents usually don't spend 3 senti without first thinking it over for two months. i was schocked. and i picked "The HitchHikers Guide To The Galaxy". i am a huge, and i mean HUGE AS IN HUMUNGOUS LIKE REALY REALLY REALLY REALLY etc. etc. etc. BIG fan of the almost all books written by Douglas Adams so i was hoping this movie would be really good, and it was, for the most part. as a gigantic fan of the book, and since i've read it at least once for every page in it, i must admit i was dissapointed. half the time i was almost in tears, rocking back and forth saying "thats not it the book....thats not in the book....curse them....they've changed so much..." but the rest of the time i was laughing my head off, enjoying every second. so all in all i loved the movie, i just want to express the fact the i do not like change, especially not to masterpieces like this. but it was still great. and i must admit, i never imagined Trillian would be so hot!! like seriously man!! but anyway...

i would now, just for the heck of it, attempt the impossible. i am going to try to explain to all of you one of the main reasons i play video games. this is something that since i got my first "Game Boy" (from my cousin) has been a huge fight between me and my parents. basicly they hate video games, where as i love them. so to try to explain i tell a story of something i did the onther day in one of my favorite games, "Star Wars:BattleFront II", that i got from my aunt May Kay (luv ya). so here is the story: "i turned on my X-box and put in the disc. i pressed start and started up a single player game, i chose a space battle, always my favorites, and chose to play as the rebels from episodes IV through VI. i started out in the hanger bay of my team's capital ship and jumped into a 'V-Wing' bomber ship. i pressed the 'A' button on my controller and launched my ship into space. checking my navigation map i headed straight for one of the enemie's two big frigate ships, firing off a few shots from my blaster cannon to lock onto the target. i kept going until i was far above the target, locking on and aiming carefully i prepared to start dropping bombs, just then i started getting hit by enemie fire. i had a ship on my tail, and to add to the problem some of the autoturrets on the enemy capital ship right next to my target had decided i needed to be taken down. i knew i only had one option, i had to outrun the blasts, i had about 10 turrets firing at me, plus a fighter on my tail. but i had to destroy my target or else i had wasted precious time getting so high a above it. so i opened fire with bombs, dropping them onto to my target as i rushed down. blasts were still flying all around me, less hitting me now but one would occasionally get lucky. then more fire came from behind and i knew i had picked up a second fighter, so i now had two fighters and a bunch of turrets all wanting me dead. so i hit my boost and noticed that the frigate i was trying to destroy still had to much health left, i was going to crash into it before i could destroy it! i knew if i slowed down i was dead, and if i kept going i was probably dead. well dead or probably dead, hmmm, pretty easy choice, probably dead. so i kept going full throttle, rushing closer and closer to my target and BOOM just as i was about to smash into it my last bomb made contact and the whole thing blew, leaveing a pile of debris where it had been. as i flew the explosion and the remains of the target i quickly hit the 'B' button twice and jammed the left thumb stick up, doing a quick turn i was just in time to see both the fighters that had been chasing me smashed into space dust because there wasn't enough room for them both to maneuver threw the debris." all that took about 30 seconds. i love the rush of battle, the just barely surviving, under enemy fire, jetting for your life feeling. that's just one part of why i play video games.

so anyway, i'm not just going to blog about junk like that, i was also, because i'm sixteen now, thinking a little bit about girls, and dating and all that. and i came to a conclusion, i like the htichhikers guide to the galaxy definition, love is just something best left avoided. but i have decided i will give you girls one chance. here are some impossible criteria, if any of you girls can *truthfully* and *with a straight face* say these criteria fit you than i will most likely stick with the idea that love is like the plague, best to be avoided. now tell me, girls. would any of you consider watching any of the star wars movies, mars attacks, galaxy quest, the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, or monty python and the holy grail as a romantic date? seriously, just say yes or no. if any girls comment on this post and say "why, yes chris, i actually do think watching star wars is pretty romantic" than i will be very surprised. now doesn't this explain why i'm always single?

well thats it for now, i need a break. Cya later everybody!
by the way, i edited my profile if you wanna check it out.

A Sunday In The Life Of The Rather Attractive *SMACK* (ouch! sorry!) Chris Clark

hey, i'm getting into the habit of blogging everyday again, cool. ok, so i'm gonna just tell you about my day...just like i used to...so anyway. this morning i woke up, yada-yada, you know how that goes. so around lunch Maret, Sigrit and Jaanika (pronounced yawn-ee-ka) showed up and so on and so forth. at three we had church. after that we had sunday school, which was funny because for sunday school we watched a 16 minutes and 22 second long DVD made my the USA southern territory of the salvation army, in other words, the part i like to make fun of (y'all). it is called: Captain Gabriel VS. The League Of Darkness cool name right? but this video is also one of the funniest i've ever seen. it is quite purposely over the top. from the salvation army shield signal in the sky calling the officers to the fire from the mufflers of the canteen this was definitely more like batman than any other salvation amry video i've ever seen. after that we went to the homeless shelter, since my mom wasn't feeling up to going i got to go. which, of course, most people might not think getting to visit a homeless shelter isn't a treat but for me, it is. and in the middle of the small thing we did the youth (Maret, Sigrit, Jaanika and I) sang a song together. in the middle of the song i looked down the row we were standing in and looked at Sigrit, Jaanika, Maret and my dad and i got this vission kind of. i jusy pictured my dad gone and in his place Karl-Gustav (our other junior soldier), Mihkel (Maret's brother) and Kuido, and all of us were in soldier uniform, not just me. and we were leading a meeting at the homeless shelter all by ourselves. and i just thought "wow, wouldn't that be great?". well i don't think there's any chance of that happening in the next year, it might not be possible at all. but it is something to work towards. and now i'm home, it's january 8th, tommorow at 12:28 american east coast and 7:28(19:28) estonian time, i will turn sixteen. isn't that freaky? i still feel like i'm not even ready to be fifteen yet, let alone sixteen. so anyway i'm gonna go now, sorry for writing such a short and abreviated post but there's not much i feel like writing about. Cya all later!

"...I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end it doesn't even matter..."

DOOM...DESPAIR...DESTRUCTION...DISAPOINTMENT...REALLY DEPRESSING WORDS THAT ALL START WITH "D"...yada-yada-yada, etc. etc. so on and so forth and all that funkiness. is anybody wondering why i'm starting off this post with such depressing words? well i'm not quite sure, but what i want to know is this: why do so many depressing words start with "D"? actually wait, let me correct myself, i believe i just made a quick slip in truthfullness there, i DO know why i started the post off this way, let me start with a story. once upon a time i was very behind on schoolwork, like i am now and am sure to be again in the future, and i made a goal for myself. i said "by the time i turn 16 i will be completely caught up on schoolwork". now yesterday was a very good day, i laid around, watched star wars episodes V and VI (not for any real reason except that i love star wars), and i blogged. and i did something i normally don't do, ever. i *thought* i got caught up on all my schoolwork, actually i thought i was a bit ahead. all in all, a very good day. i went to bed that night thinking "tommorow will be the first saturday in months where i will do nothing except blog, watch TV, play video games and chat on MSN, because i am caught up on schoolwork". this morning, a cold, dark, evil morning i woke up still planning on doing absolutely nothing but when my mom came to check that i really was caught up with my school work she did what she always does, pointed out that i'm still much more behind then i ever knew was physically possible. so today i have spent the whole day working on school work. except for when i was watching my little brother chew up and spit out the cookie i gave him, which is of course much more entertaining than TV or video games. i found out that to be since i have a nice christian homeschooling curriculim (despite the fact that i still think anybody who would design this curriculim with so much work to do must be horribly evil) i had to read the books of John, Acts, and Romans from the bible in about 36 hours, that along with even more reading and then writing a few papers. doesn't that sound fun? and i thought i was done with school work for at this weekend...can't you understand how slightly dissapointing that is? come on! sympathize with me! what ever, i know when silence translates into "it's your own fault for not staying caught up" so BLAGH!!! Ha, i "blaghed" you, gotcha now.

well anyway why i'm blogging now despite that fact that i have tons of work to do is partly because i'm lazy and will avoid work until the last second and also because i'm rewarding myself, i just finished reading John! isn't that cool? come on now, you can praise me for my great reading abilities, it won't hurt you. *cricket* *cricket* or maybe it will, what ever. but anyway just so this doesn't all sound so depressing i want to write about seomthing cool i found while i was reading, and of course since i say it's cool, and especially because it's from the best selling, most popular, coolest book ever written you know it's gonna be good. if you have a bible handy bust it out and flip to John 12:25. in my version (NLT) it says "Those who love their life in this world wil lose it. Those who despise their in this world will keep it for eternal life." now for me as a missionary kids i've only heard this verse about ten million times, it's pretty well quoted, but it's never been quoted by me before and i just wanted to throw out what i think of it. i really like this verse because it tottally works for me. as you might have noticed from the first half off this post i don't exactly love everything in my life, schoolwork most of all. i have many times thought about how nice it would be to be dead. not in a suicidal way but just it seems to me i'll be dead sometime in the next 80 years so why can't God just hurry it up and push me in front of a bus? i'm just kidding, i know the whole "God's got a plan for your life" thing, i got that down. but life isn't easy and i am looking forward to getting into heaven, because it just sounds like the coolest party i've ever heard of ;-) so this makes things sound pretty cool for me. i don't love my life on earth, it's ok but heaven sounds better. but just for a minute think about this verse. yeah you. no really, i'm talking to YOU. think about your life, think about this verse, are you loving your life a bit too much? think about it.

well anyway i just want to shout out "Hi" or two, most likely two, not three. or probably not three, i doubt it because like king arthur i can't count that high* first of all i want to say a big old fashioned "Hi" or "Tere" or even "Priviet" if your into that type of thing to my friend Kristi. Kristi recently left estonia to work in hawaia (talk about from one extreme to the other) and i just want to her you know that all us losers freezing our butts of in estonia while she's probably in a T-shirt, miss her. we miss you Kristi! and next i want to say a big american "Yo" if if you want "Joo" works too, but please don't ask me to do russian, to my friend Megan, no, not Meaghan Wittenberg, but Megan. i'm gonna let you all in on a little secret, i don't know her. i've never met her. but somehow, through this crazy thing called the "internet" (which i always thought was the netting on the inside of a guy's bathing suit ;-)) stumbled across my blog, and so when i have a few free seconds i check out her blog, and apperently she reads mine despite the fact i keep dissapearing for a few weeks every now and then. she says me being *almost* 16 makes her feel old, i think me being older than 10 makes me feel pretty old too. so just saying "Hi".

and now that i'm done with this big long blog post i'm gonna go read Acts and Romans, Cya all later,

Signed,
Chris, the almost 16 blogging dude who likes depressing words that start with the letter "D"




*"1, 2, 5!" "3, sir, 3!" "oh yes, 3!" from monty python and the holy grail.

i see your mouth moving but all i hear is "blog, blog, blog, blog, blog"

hey everyone, i'm back from camp. theres not much to write about, it went great. plain and simple. but today i want to tell you something that i bet most of you, therefore me telling you will be horribly redundant. today is *date check* january 6th, does anybody know what january 9th is? any guesses? anyone? you sir? no, its the day some one gives me a million dollars (probably not anyway), and no, most likely it's not the day i'll meet my future wife (or will it?) but the 9th is special anyway, you know why? becuase on the 9th i do something i've never done before, something so horrible and perverted that i will never be the same again. on the 9th, i turn...SIXTEEN!!!! AHHHHH!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! i can't be 16, i only just got used to being 15! this just isn't fair. i need 12 more months, give me 12 more months and i'll be ready to turn 16. i cruel, cruel world. how could you do this to me? well anyway, i'm turning 16, whoop-dee-do and hie-dee-ho. i'm still thinking sixteen is a scary number, much larger and more unlucky than 13 to be sure. so now that i've let all of you know that feel free to send me an E-card (if you would, believe me, it would make me very happy). so, send it to chrisjohnclark@juno.com and feel free to send it in english, estonian or russian. which now that i'm done trying to get you all to love me that reminds me of something.

on my third ever blog post, date march 3rd 2004, some one posted anonymously in...russian. useing english letters they cleverly wrote a message obviously for me but obviously impossible for me to understand. i could only uderstand 2 russian words, which translate into three english ones. "lubliu tebia" or in english "i love you". now of course i have been very curious about this for almost a year now and i am going to ask whoever it was to tell me who you are! i'm SOOOOOO curious. i don't care if you wrote a stupid comment, all i care is that i know who you are, the one thing i can't take is not knowing something like this. curiousity kills. and also i'm pasting a copy of the russian words and asking for a translation, i had a translation last year (thank you translaters) but i seem to have lost it, alas, woe is me...so anyway, heres the copy:

"ia ne panimiu nechigo! shto ti gonish moi drug? lublia tebia. esli ti panimiesh parusski, ti ushe snaesh shto ia napisala."

what do you think of that? well who ever you are PLEASE TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!! I'M BEGGING YOU!! come on, it's not fair to torture a guy like this. so anyway, i gotta go now, i'll write more later, Cya.

Happy New Year!

Hey everyone! i haven't written since last year! doesn't that sound strange? not really but who cares, its 2006!! yay!! i feel like i had so much to right about but now i can't think of it, oh wait. i thought os something. i have a goal for this year, a want this year to be a year of...(drumroll please)...achieving! yes, i want this year to be a year where i do things, where big things happen. 2004 was a year of surviving, i moved to a new country, had to move to a new country, got my first "girlfriend" (;-) YOU RULE, KUMIKO!!) and started learning a new language, and i had a new baby brother too. that year i survived, i tried to stay above the waves of depression and anger as (besides from just being moved to a new country) our house was broken into and my most prized possesions stolen, and then my grandmother died to top it off. but i survived 2004 to go onto 2005. in 2005 it was a year of learning, i started a blog (YAY!), i broke through the "wall" of estonian language and become much more fluent (thanks to my friends Eero, Vesse, Anton, and Kristel for that), and i also had my second "girlfriend"(demon from the pits of darkness and despair more like) and learned i just probably shouldn't date. i learned a lot that year. and now, 2006. i have big plans for this year, this year i will break through bounderies, tear down fortesses and become a mighty warrior for God, and i'll have some fun on the way. so thats all for now, i will blog alot more about a lot of other stuff, but later. so just to finish this off, just so you know i do haven an excuse for not blogging tommorow, i'm going to lõksa for youth councils, the salvation army youth camp. this should be a great time, iäll tell all about it, later, but for now, Cya later everybody!!

Chris
P.S. on january 9th is my birthday *hint hint* so if you want to send me a E-card or something *hint hint* my E-mail is chrisjohnclark@juno.com *hint hint*. i wish these "*hint hint*" things would *hint hint* go away! Bye!