I'm Crap! Your Crap! This Computer Is Probably Crap Too!! And Most Of All, Crap Is Crap!!

hey guys, guess what? i feel like...crap!! bet you couldn't have guessed that!! why do i feel like crap? a whole lot of reasons. but first i want to aplogize because i think my blog is getting a little more depressing. first of all, it's COLD!!! and i'm sick. i have a cold, colds are so nasty and annoying aren't they? i probably got it from spending so much time at the computer blogging away freezing cold!! but anyway, i'm also depressed because of this whole "the grass is always greener on the other side" phenomen. because i keep looking around at the other missionaries in estonia and i look and i say "look at them, they have so many friends, they're so lucky" or "look at him, he knows how to really play an instrument, and him and all his friends play instruments together" or "looking at stupid mr. popular with his ugly blond girlfriend. god, how i hate that guy!! (but who wouldn't i kill to be able to switch places with him for one day?)" so i am just feeling very sick, depressed and tired. that's another thing, i haven't been sleeping much lately. i keep having really freaky dreams. the two scariest of which are the ones where nuclear war breaks out and the one where i lose my mp3 player. and i won't go intro detail about any this dreams because nobody wants to hear about how i dreamed about losing my mp3 and because i thought of a very interesting way of causeing nuclear explosions all over the world without launching a single nuclear warhead, and that's just freaky. but the problem with having freaky dreams all night is that i wake up, and the i take like half an hour to get back to sleep, so basicly i'm not really sleeping much at all. why can't i just go back to that dream where i'm playing chess with a hot chick who slaps me everytime i kill one of her pieces? so anyway instead today of saying "pity me" i want you guys to pray for me. because you know pity never did anyone much good, but prayer is quite a different story. so if you guys can just pray i survive until april (thats my goal) then i will be most greatful. thank you everyone, Goodbye.