A Political Post...I Guess

I normally try to avoid politics. I prefer the methods advocated by this comic. Politics are just a sticky issue, especially when people mix their politics with religion. But I haven't written in a while and politics has been on my mind lately. I think a large part of it is the Utøya massacre in Norway, and even more than that, the way some Americans have responded. Being the digital information pack-rat that I am I downloaded Anders Behring Breivik's 1516 page manifesto and, aside from being quite similar to the Anarchist's Cookbook in the "Planning the operation" and "Evaluating attack strategies" sections in it's advice on how to build bombs and such, I was shocked at how political it was.

The initial reaction when something like this happens is "the shooter must have been crazy." Our deep seated hope is that no human being is capable of such evil unless they have lost their mind. We would like to think that no one could ever say, "I have logically deduced that killing 77 [The Death Toll as I write] people at a youth camp is a good choice." The very idea that this could be a thought that someone would not only consider in passing, but plan out and be able to defend is horrific to most of us. Yet this shooting is just the most recent of many, crossing geographical, political, religious, and cultural lines. And I would argue that the majority of these were not perpetrated by people who were mentally unstable, but people with an agenda.

September 11th, 2001, is the best example of this. Murder on a terrifying scale--but for a reason. The people who killed approximately 3000 people that day were not insane. These people were merely people with committed beliefs. People who were trying to send a message.

And this is why I feel that I should write about politics, at least a little. Maybe it's some of the disgust I feel over politically motivated killing that makes me want to spout my political views. Maybe I'm tired of trying to hide my views to keep from causing fights with people at school. I don't know. Either way, I think it's about time.

So, I guess you could say I'm liberal. "Wait, wait, CHRIS! You're liberal? YOU BABY KILLING HOMOSEXUAL SATANIC WIMP!!!" Whoa, chill out there. Let me explain what I mean by liberal. I guess I'm liberal compared to many of the hard line cradle conservative cradle Christians at Houghton. But then again, my roommate is Communist and I'm not as liberal as him. But I do love NPR and hate Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. Anyway, I'm a memoirist (at least I like to think) so it's story time!

I remember the first time the whole political polarity was brought to my attention. The dichotomy of Conservatives, Christians, and the average Joe (the Plumber) VS. Liberals, Anti-Christanical Atheists, and "Snotty Intellectuals" had never mattered to me before. When I lived in Estonia I didn't care about American politics any more than to make fun of Bushisms and wish that America didn't look quite so bad overseas. I figured that I was a Christian first, and as a follower of Christ I would make whatever voting decisions would come my way based on how the candidate lined up with my faith, not with my political party.

So once upon a time I had just arrived in America. It was August of 2008 and politics were hot. There was a chance we could have a black president! Or...a liberal anti-Christ who would destroy our country ("One Big Ass Mistake America", is the bumper sticker I saw next to a "The Gun in the Driver's Hand is Larger than it Appears" sticker.) Either way I didn't pay much attention. I was about to go to college and I didn't have time for anything as boring as politics. But really, it's unavoidable. I was riding in the car with my uncle and he, a proud Christian, was listening to Rush Limbaugh's inflammatory conservative commentary and chuckling and nodding in agreement. Rush had just said something about Europe being full of weaklings (compared to the mighty America) and the French surrendering to anything in a helmet. My uncle laughed but I, fresh from Europe, was offended. All French-military-defeats jokes aside, why do Americans feel the need to insult every other country? It's like guys who are insecure about their genitals calling other guys inadequate. I don't get it.

Anyway, onward and upward! Now that I've offended every American reading this...

Later my uncle responded in agreement to some of the rants coming from the radio saying "Those snooty stuck up intellectuals think they know everything!" I was surprised. I had never heard being an intellectual be referred to as a negative thing before. I thought it was good to be smart. I was, after all, on my way to college so I could grow intellectually. That's the whole point. Then I got the full implications. Should only the uneducated, unintellectuals be allowed in politics? I'm not saying they wouldn't fit right in or don't constitute a large portion of politicians, but I do think that to be an effective politician a little knowledge would go a long way.

Then I went to Houghton. Ahh, freedom. A diverse campus with people who put Christ first and have a strong sense of faith leading them in their political choices. Or so I thought. I soon realized that the mostly white middle class student body was also mostly conservative. In fact, I found that people thought that being a conservative was not only better for America, but "The Christian Party." This was when I learned of the Conservative/Christian entanglement. I wasn't surprised at how many people at Houghton were pro-life, but I was shocked at how many Houghtonites were pro-war and death penalty. It didn't make sense to me. Also, during the furor of the election people were declaiming Obama for...well, we weren't sure. He was liberal though, and hell, that's bad. McCain though, and Palin, such wonderful Christians who would lead our country to revival or...something. Most Houghton students were of voting age, and many of those had no deep understanding of why they were voting for the candidate they picked, but they had no doubts and never even considered the other party's views.

I, on the other hand, was gifted with some very liberal friends. I had a Democrat, a Socialist, a Communist, and I became an Anarchist to round it out. I didn't vote, and likely won't in this next election either, but I was glad when Obama won largely because it really pissed off and shook up all the cradle conservatives around me. It was funny. There's a great South Park episode (Free on their site) about it that was surprisingly accurate. I was still undecided, but I was definitely leaning left.

Over the years I've realized that it's more than my friends that make me liberal. But the biggest issue to me is this: CONSISTENCY!

I don't view myself as either republican or democrat because I don't think either one is consistent. I think both contradict and oppose their own views. Don't believe me? Let's see who cares about citizen's rights...

Conservatives: Right to bear arms (Bang, BANG--F-YEAH!)
Liberals: Right to abort (My body, MY choice!)

So that means...

Conservatives: Outlaw abortion (It's murder! Here, let me take those rights out of your hands...)
Liberals: Gun control (Guns kill people! Here, let me take those rights off your hands...)

Okay, well maybe that's not a good issue. What's a big one-issue-voter issue? How about being "Pro-life."

Conservatives: "We're pro-life because we are against abortions. Don't kill babies!"
Liberals: "We're pro-life because we're against war and guns. Don't kill anyone!"

Most "Pro-lifers" I know are only pro-life about abortion, but no way in hell are you going to restrict their God-given right to assault rifles and going to war and bombing cities and killing 98,170 - 107,152 civilians in Iraq (we killed about twice as many civilians as we did combatants...)

See what I mean? Politics is a sticky, yucky business.

So I think the whole conservative-liberal-republican-democrat-we're-all-just-shit-anyway argument is stupid.

Finally, as I promised, here's where I stand, on the issues mentioned in this post at least. Like I've said, from what I understand, this makes me liberal. But I'm new to American politics, so if I'm wrong please correct me so all my conservative Houghton friends won't kill me.

Concerning pro-life, I'm pro-life ALL THE WAY. I want consistency. So in my mind to be pro-life is to be anti-whatever-kills-people. So I am against abortions, war, guns, and the military by and large, considering that America spends more on it's military than the rest of the world put together and has unnecessary national treasury draining bases everywhere around the world. That is my idea of what it means to be consistent. Oh, also, I'm against supporting Israel. American tax dollars pay 20% of Israel's military budget. 1 in 5 dead Palestinians was American bought. I am definitely not a Christian Zionist by any means. Plus, I just want to be a hippy. Hippies are liberal.

So, here I am, consistent as I claim to be and liberal as I am told I am. I welcome civil thoughts and comments. My biggest issue is consistency. I respect other opinions that are consistent, like if someone were pro-war, pro-gun, pro-choice, and wanted military bases everywhere and wanted to fund as many Uzis as Israel can produce. But when people get inconsistent it gets hard for me to take them seriously.

Anyway, this is Chris signing off with an anarchist music video. Rock out and I hope you enjoyed the post!

It's Been A Week. A Week Filled With Awesome!

Well, I haven't blogged about my internship, or life in general, for a week. I guess I'd better get on that! I think I'll go in chronological order, so prepare for a flashback. The screen is becoming wavy before your eyes...

Wave, wave, wave...It is Thursday, June 9th, 2011. In the morning Dr. Ward and I were supposed to be in the evaluation center doing intake interviews. First I had my computer training, which was really interesting, but all pretty simple. It was cool to learn how to look up patient charts on the computer and stuff like that. I won't be doing much of that anyway, but it's a good skill to know.

After I was done with the computer stuff I went up to the evaluation center to look for Dr. Ward. I knew that if she was in with a client I would have to go back to her office and wait, because I couldn't interrupt a client. Luckily, Dr. Ward's client had gone out for a break and would hopefully be back any minute. With the client's permission I would be allowed to sit in and hear the rest of the interview. Unfortunately, the client never came back. This allowed Dr. Ward and I to talk a little and just enjoy getting to know each other.

I eventually ended up being able to see two clients. This was a really exciting day as the intake interview goes over a lot. It goes over the psychiatric and psychological history of the patient as well as their general life history. The most difficult part of this for me was that both of the clients I saw were slightly younger than me, making this feel very close and personal.

The greatest part of watching the intake interviews was the end, when the psychiatrist would come in for a final brief interview. I got to see a different psychiatrist each time. One of them was especially caring and relational with the client. When trying to schedule a follow up this psychiatrist said, "No, that date is too far away! I want to see him in 10 days or less." He also leaned forward joked with the client, assuring the client that he was not "nuts" or crazy. It was really cool to see. The other psychiatrist was great too, trying to convince his client to participate in some sort of counseling, pointing out that therapy paired with medication is the best way to defeat substance dependency.

One of my favorite parts of last Thursday was that I got to be helpful! I let one of the clients use the calender on my phone, spoke to the administrative assistant for Dr. Ward, and I made copies for Dr. Ward!

That was the end of psychology for me that week and I got to spend that Saturday with my family in Portland celebrating my cousin Jaan's first birthday. Jenny came too and I still am shocked every time I see her with my family. Not only does she got along with them great, but she also doesn't want to leave me! Woohoo! So, that's cool. Then I spent Saturday night and Sunday at Jenny's house, going to her church and playing Perfect Dark and Super Smash Bros. with her and her brother, Jon. It was pretty awesome. I still rock at Perfect Dark, but I have totally lost what skill I had at Super Smash Bros.

Then the beginning of this week my family was out of town so I had the house to myself and I really enjoyed it. I really like living alone. If I could afford it I wouldn't have a roommate at college. I just love being able to completely separate myself and not have to think about anybody else for a while. "Why are you getting married, then?" you might ask. Well, because I do like spending time with Jenny alone and we both understand how to give each other space. Basically, she rocks.

Anyway, I said I was doing this chronologically, but...well...I'm tired. I have to be at Acadia at 8:25 tomorrow and I want to spend some time doing something wasteful and mind emptying like video games or watching 24 with a loaded Nerf gun for when I get angry at the bad guys. I also want to spend some time reading the Bible. So for any chance to be able to do either one of those I really need to stop writing now. Hopefully I can write more about this past week tomorrow and Friday and eventually catch up. I also would really like to write about this past Thursday, when my attempt at romance turned into a dash into a torrential rain and Jenny almost losing a flip-flop in the flooded streets. Or Friday, when Jenny and I had engagement photos taken. Ugh, so much to write, so little time...

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the psychology cat at the beginning of this post. I know I did! Now, to Bibliosity, wastosity, and bed!

My First Day With Clients! Cool!

So, today was pretty much the most awesome experience I've had since starting in Psychology. For the first time I was working with actual clients. No more textbooks, no more theories, just real face-to-face interaction with clients.

The big highlights of my day were a fire drill (which I'm thankful happened after I had gone over it in orientation) and getting to witness the WAIS-IV (Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale or, colloquially, IQ Test) being administered. At the top of this post is the official WAIS-IV logo, but I kind of prefer the graffiti I found in my Google image search.

For obvious reasons I can't go into actual detail. But it was just fascinating to see all of the things I've been reading about and heard lectured on for three years actually put to use. Actually become a reality.

I still don't know if clinical psychology is something I personally want to pursue as a profession. I don't think I'm far enough along in my internship to know that. But I still really enjoyed it.

I had originally hoped that since the Houghton end of my internship requires me to journal about each day in the field that I could just blog about it. Now that I'm actually in the internship I realized just how little there actually is that I can write about on my blog. Hmmmm. Well, I guess I'll just have to blog to the extent that I can (I am really enjoying actually writing each night) and then privately journal the rest.

Also, the nights when I'm not fresh from my internship I will still try to find things to write about. Like...my job search. Which isn't going well. Nobody wants to hire somebody part time, two days a week, who is going to ditch them after the summer. Ugh. Well, I'll write more on that later. Maybe I'll write so eloquently, and with such passion, that some random passerby (because there are passerby in the blogosphere) will offer me a job.

Hey, it never hurts to hope, right?

Another Great Day of Internship with Collaborative Problem Solving and Roleplaying

Well, first off I want to tell a few things that I forgot yesterday. Bad Chris. Bad, bad, forgetful Chris. I was too busy being excited about getting a photo I.D. and keys. Here we go.

So, yesterday I forgot to mention some of the most encouraging things. First of all, I was overdressed. I wasn't sure how to dress as an intern, so I thought it would be a better idea to over do it than look like the lazy college student I usually look like. I was surprised to see when I got to the orientation that everyone was dressed mostly casually. Like "nice casual." Not T-shirts, but nobody else was in a tie. To be safe I observed the other employees and noticed that they didn't all wear ties, so I decided I could lose the tie. It may seem like a little thing, but being able to lose the tie and just feel a little more like myself is a huge comfort and makes me feel way less nervous each day.

Probably the greatest encouragement was when payroll forms were being handed out and I said to the HR person "I don't need one, I'm just an intern." She paused and smiled at me, "You're an intern, leave off the word just." Also, while all the new employees worked on that I was able to help the presenter with their computer a little, which made me feel very cool and smart. It was most encouraging.

I had another encouraging moment today when one of the other orientees, a future psych tech, asked me if I was taking time off from my PhD for my internship. I felt very cool when I said, "Uh, no, I'm an undergrad."

Today was really great. We spent most of the day discussing Collaborative Problem Solving, which was mostly a bunch of new ideas to me. We also did some role playing that was very similar to the type I had done in my Counseling and Psychotherapy class at Houghton, so I felt very well prepared. Thanks Dr. Lastoria! That was probably the most encouraging thing--just seeing that I actually DO know something about psychology and how to care for and work with patients.

Speaking of patients...Tomorrow I will see patients for the first time! I'm very nervous. Thought I will, I believe, be almost entirely observation, I'm still nervous. There's a lot of opportunity for me to look stupid or something. Ugh, I just hope I can hold it together and look smart.

O Frabjous Day! Callooh! Callay! 'Twas an Awesome Time at my Internship Today!

Today I completed my first full day at my internship! I came galumphing back! I chortled in my joy! I had an awesome time!

I was extremely nervous this morning but luckily for me we had recently watched Tim Burton's version Alice in Wonderland and it was still stuck in my head. Jenny and I decided that today would be Frabjous day and that I didn't need to worry, I just had to believe six impossible things by breakfast. I did.

1. Today is Frabjous day
2. I am responsible and adult enough to be an intern
3. I am meant to do this
4. It doesn't matter if I fail
5. I am the lizard king, I can do anything (I found that graffiti in Tallinn, Estonia and it has stuck with me)
6. I will come galumphing back

Jenny always knows just how to encourage me. "You'll do great" is fine, "Believe six impossible things" is better. So, while I ate my cereal I pondered my six things and tried to mentally psych myself up.

I walked in at 5 to 8 and found a green folder that had a name tag stuck to it that said "Intern 106" and assuming that was me I sat down at that seat. As I looked through the folder and the huge orientation manual the clock struck 8 and it was time to begin.

Over the next 3 hours I learned about the inner workings of Acadia and important things like security and fire safety. I was also given keys and a swipe card and had my picture taken for a picture I.D. which made me feel extremely excited and proud. I felt like a big grown up intern! It was great.

I also learned that Acadia is the only Psychiatric hospital in the world to be a recognized magnet hospital. To put it simply, that's an accolade that means that Acadia has passed rigorous inspections and has proven to have an excellent level of quality in nursing. I was impressed, and I'm hoping that adds even more awesomeness to this internship. It was while discussing this that I realized I could stop being nervous and start being cocky. Acadia is possibly the best hospital in the world for me to do an undergraduate internship.

Right before lunch was a session with Acadia's Infection Preventionist. It was extremely informative, but it also made me feel squeamish and hemophobic. My appetite returned in time for lunch though.

I had a tasty turkey sandwich and a cookie and I got to eat with Dr. Ward, my supervisor, which was awesome. I like her a lot and it was great to just chat a little but also to run over to the HR office with her to figure out which parts of the orientation I had to go to as an intern.

After lunch we went over some of the legal aspects of working at Acadia hospital. My favorite moment was when the guy said "The thing about the rights of people with mental illnesses is that they're the same as everyone else. They're people too."

We also learned about EMHS, that group of hospitals that Acadia is a part of. It was during the break after this session that I knew I was in the right place. An impossible thing had come true. On the front page of the EMHS newsletter I got was a picture of a rabbit in a vest with a pocket watch, as well as a girl with a cat that could only be described as Cheshire.

Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said 'one can't believe impossible things.'

'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'

Of all the quotes to be staring me in the face...it was a good moment.

By far the most fascinating session, to me at least, was the last one I attended today. This session covered the recovery model at the Acadia Hospital. I think this session was at least as educational, if not more, than my three years at Houghton so far. We discussed Psychiatric Advanced Directives, which was fascinating and totally new to me. The most interesting thing I learned today was about their treatment of goals as equally important to symptoms, and the S.M.A.R.T. system of setting goals. This evaluates if a goal is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. It was awesome to be hearing from professionals in the field how this is actually done!

After I got out I walked him singing a song I had just made up about how cool I am.

I will be at Acadia 6.5 hours tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it. We'll be discussing therapeutic relationships. I could not be more excited! Look forward to reading about that as well.

Number of internship hours completed 9/105

Another Excellent Night of Open Mic

Last night was Thursday night. As such it was Open Mic at the Brick Church (I blogged about it last week) and Jenny and my date night. Last week was awesome, but this week was at least twice as good.

Jenny and I came in and got settled as the first act played, a drum soloist with a lot of energy. After our friend got off the drums a guy with shoulder length wavy brown Jesus hair (like in every picture of Jesus, and also like in that picture of the guy in question up there) and a trimmed mustache/goatee deal. Jenny pointed out that he looked a little like Johnny Depp, and I pointed out that I wanted to look just like both of them. After taking a couple minutes to set up this guy was introduced as Brian, the first to ever bring a didgeridoo to Open Mic. He started out on a beat-up guitar and moved on to awesomeness. It was great.

You should begin playing this video now.




As the bio on Brian Ernst's music page says "Brian steps on stage and owns it. He's got 20 instruments, and a looping pedal. And that's all he needs." After two songs of Brian's looping pedal and scrambling for the next instrument I was hooked. This guy was awesome. Assuming I did that video right you should be listening to Travelin' Man, probably my favorite song of his CD. See, Brian isn't from Bangor. Actually, he's doing a tour of the country with his fiance. He held up a tatted roadmap with his tour route marked on it. It was very cool. Not only that, but he's not selling his CDs, he just accepts donations. I think this CD was one of the best $10 I've ever spent. Also, not only is his music great and he's super cool for touring the country (I know, it can get better?) this guy founded Journey4YOUth, whose mission statement is:

Journey4YOUth aims to empower people from all walks of life to do what they can in their own community and the larger world at wide to make an impact; focusing on alleviating poverty and promoting sustainability.

And is more specifically doing work in Kenya fighting poverty and raising money to build a school for children who otherwise wouldn't get an education. Guess what? 10% of CD sales go to Journey4YOUth, so I gave a buck. I only wish I could have given more. Also cool. He's a Christian. Nice! Not in-your-face or obnoxious about it, he just expressed it through his lyrics and through his website and CD. Seriously, check out Brian's website here and Journey4YOUth's website here. He has some of his music to listen to on his music page. I suggest listening to Warrior King, a song about how epic God is. I don't know how he ended up in Bangor of all places at our little off-beat open mic, but I'm sure glad he did.

Also, when he handed me the CD he said "Thanks a lot, man. Burn it for all your friends!" so I assume he won't mind that I put up one of his songs here. If you're interested in hearing his music he said he's on Itunes, or you could just ask me if you're hanging out with me.

So, that was probably the best part of the night. A little later there was a band called 1+1=2 which was...kind of funny. It was a 40 something guy on drums with an upper 20s guy on guitar that had a Love>Fear bumper sticker on it. At first I was willing to take them seriously-until the drummer walked up to the mic, that is. "One plus one equals two, one plus one has always equaled two, and one plus one will always equal two" he said in a monotone before walking back to the drums. "You sure?" the sound guy yelled. They begann a very fast-paced 2.5 chords punk deal and seemed way more serious than I expected because they looked and sounded pretty funny. After two songs of guitar flailing speed rock the drummer got back up to the mic and repeated his monotone statement, this time ending it with "and if you don't know that then turn off your x-box, turn off your TV, and read a book!"

The last person Jenny and I listened to before we left was a guy named Kain with a bald head, handlebar mustache, and a brown bomber jacket complete with a scarf. On the sign up paper he had listed himself as doing poetry. "If you remember that week when I discussed the doomsday cult and also channeled dead poets, well, I was thinking I might do one of those again." I was really excited and curious to see what he might by "channel dead poets" because the reason Jenny and I had stayed this long was because he had written he was doing poetry. "I think I'll talk about the doomsday thing." He then went on to talk about everything. Global warming. The apocalypse. EVERYTHING. It was crazy. And funny. It was just interesting. My favorite part was when he said "and global warming and stuff is all our doing. God isn't even angry yet!"

All in all it was the best night I've had in a while and it was a great time with Jenny. Afterwards we again went for a walk by the waterfront and just enjoyed a nice night together. I can't wait to go again.