The tale of the freaky unknown caller who turned out to be a freaky KNOWN caller.

i need to keep this short. but i want to tell you a story. the last few days i have been getting calls from an unknown number. unknown as in it didn't show who it was. anyway, this strange enigma continued to baffle me until i posted my last post warning that i WILL hang up on you if you call me anytime before monday. i then finally today i repeatedly got calls from this strange number. and so did my mom. who was this guy? and why was he stalking us? creepy...then it turned out this freaky guy was my dad. AH!! MY DAD!!! scary. anyway so mystery solved. boring story huh? sorry if i bored you to tears but i recently read in one of the free london newspapers that crying releases stress. so next time you see me punch me in the face, and then i'll cry and release stress. sound fool proof? i think so too...yeah. i actually have a top secret, confidential, evil plan for a post i want to write concerning my secret plan of what i want next time you see me. no it's not 5£. you'll find out. be patient. and one more thing. if you live in estonia, and therefore have an estonian phone number (country code +372) and called me today around 3:45 pm(15:45) estonia time please e-mail me at chrisjohnclark@juno.com because i don't know who you are and i will repeatedly hang up on you until you either SMS me or e-mail me. i know you're probably some girl who's madly in love with me who i don't know exists, which is unlikely on both counts because 1, no girl would ever be madly in love with me (no arguements Ms. You-Know-Who-You-Are) and 2 i know so many girls... anyway i'm almost out of time so i must bid you a loving farewell!

Loving Farewell,
Chris

Hello, i'm away at them moment but you can leave a message at the front desk...

actually i really am away. i'm traveling europe at the moment, thus the silence on phone, e-mail and blog. sorry to everyone who i have hung up on. when i am out of estonia it costs money to recieve calls. lots of money. so i will hang up on you if you call me. unless you sms me and tell me it's an emergency i will not pick up. sorry. anyway having loads of fun. will blog about it all later. if you need to contact me, my e-mail once again is chrisjohnclark@juno.com, or just comment on my blog and i'll get it. i might not get it quick but at least i'll get it. anyway just letting you all know why i've been haning up and not responding to e-mails. i promise i'll write a nice long post in you guys' honor once i'm back home. Cya,

Chris

I just feel like blogging and if you don't like it...well i pity you.

i have nothing AT ALL to blog about, well not much really. but i want to blog so i'll make some stuff up. or i'll just tell the truth. whatever works for you. well today something actually quite big happened. my homeschooling stuff came. we've got a library of english books in my bedroom now. my curriculim (at my request) has a big emphasis on literature. so i got a binch of great books. from Sir Gawain and the Green Knight to Frankeinstein. From Hamlet to Beowulf. sweet huh? i think so. so i'm all excited. so yeah, party! i can't think of anything else to say. ummm...does anybody know whether "lostprophets" is a christian band? i might be stupid asking but i don't know... so anyway, i'm gonna go now. i know the post was short and pointless but so what. Cya!

I just feel like blogging and if you don't like it...well i pity you.

i have nothing AT ALL to blog about, well not much really. but i want to blog so i'll make some stuff up. or i'll just tell the truth. whatever works for you. well today something actually quite big happened. my homeschooling stuff came. we've got a library of english books in my bedroom now. my curriculim (at my request) has a big emphasis on literature. so i got a binch of great books. from Sir Gawain and the Green Knight to Frankeinstein. From Hamlet to Beowulf. sweet huh? i think so. so i'm all excited. so yeah, party! i can't think of anything else to say. ummm...does anybody know whether "lostprophets" is a christian band? i might be stupid asking but i don't know... so anyway, i'm gonna go now. i know the post was short and pointless but so what. Cya!

Hey! I'm still alive?

Dude! i know you all thought i was dead. and i know you already bought the chips for the "ding-dong-the-chris-is-dead" party but hey, like i care about that. eat the chips while you read this new post. or send them to me and i'll eat them as i write a post about your genorousity. anyway, to your left there is a little "Pearls Before Swine" comic my dad sent me that i thought all one of you would enjoy. seriously. Maret, i know you're the only person who reads my blog and you just comment under a bunch of different names to make me feel good. that would be funny. anyway, Mr. "The Champ", i have seriously considered war college. but if you or Andy Mac are there i refuse to even come to Canada. just kidding, i miss you guys. so yeah, what inspired me to write a post right now? well mostly the fact that i wanted to get out of "real" work. so instead of doing schoolwork i am blogging and listening to Evanescence(ever heard their song "Eternal"? Beautiful...love it...7 mins long) and Breaking Benjamin, i have a recently come to quite like.

Anyway, today there is something annoying me. do you know what that something is? no? do you want to know? no? can you say anything besides no? no? you wanna do the funky chicken dance? "i don't wanna be a chicken, i don't wanna be a duck so kiss my butt, doo doo doo...." okay. anyway, back to what i was saying. what's annoying me is...ME! i suck! see, there i go again! i'm pessimistic! i'm not normally pessimistic it's just one very simple thing that makes me go from happy-go-lucky to chronic depression. school. i am most completely convinced i am an utter and total idiot. well, not completely. i mean i believe i can write. that's why i have this blog. i believe i am witty and what you might call "wise". and now i'm bragging. but i am most definitely not "smart". all my life, exept 4th grade, i have been homeschooled. and therefore i feel that i must have missed out on HUGE stuff that i need for life on planet earth. i mean when people younger than me are talking about what they're doing in school and i'm just going "HUH?" then that's bad, in my opinion. i'm clueless! oh so clueless! and that annoys me. and now i'm 16 and i'm looking into college and university and i'm going "yeah right, they'd take one look at me and go 'this idiot? you want US to put HIM in OUR college? he's a absolute IDIOT!!' yes sir, maybe this idiot is interested in higher education. ohhh, big word."

anyway, i know i am not alone among my homeschooling brethren. others feel the same! yay! Joshua Harris, who has written some cool books, was also a homeschooler and here's a quote from his site about how HE sometimes felt.

"
And incidentally, the friends he had at church who went to public school, all seemed really sharp. They seemed to know about a lot of things that Josh had never even heard of, let alone studied. There was quite a strong possibility that Josh was being deprived of a decent education. What if he went to college someday, and found out that he didn’t really know anything that he was supposed to know! What if there was some vital school subject that his parents had simply forgotten to cover?! He could just hear it now, he’d be sitting in the admissions office at the college, and the counselor would come in and say, "Sorry, Mr. Harris, but it seems that you completely flunked Molecular Division on your entrance test! Evidently, you never did any extensive studies on this subject. It was part of the public school students’ curriculum all throughout 9-12 grade, because it is a basic requirement for nearly every reputable university. Too bad, Mr. Harris, maybe you can try and get enrolled at a Home-school Academy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"

so anyway, i'm quite sure i would fail molecular division. i suck at normal numbers division. i would say that's my weakest point. math. oh, how i hate you. math, the ultimate evil. cursed are you, evil of evils, MATH! anyway, you get the point. so why i was thinking about this today is because i had a huge pile of college stuff that was getting on my nerves so i decided to sort through it and have fun BURNING THE REJECTS! i actually am not sure i'll burn them, but i'll probably horribly mutilate them. they just bug me to look at them. anyway, i just wanted to get all that out. another thing. i'm also coming to like the song "rockin' the suburbs" by ben folds. and believe me, "y'all don't know what it's like/bein' male, middle class and white" i'm thinking or rewriting the song for my blog to have it say "i'm rockin' your computers/just like bill gates did/i'm rockin' your computers/only he he was talented" so yeah, i'm going into the realm of rambling now so...BLAH! i just don't want to stop blogging! but i can't think of anything more to write about. oh wait, happy birthday to my dad! his birthday was friday the 8th! aren't i a loser son? i didn't even blog about it. but yeah, i gotta go baby sit and do other junk now, so Cya all later!

Almost a month after battle school and man do i miss it...

on friday will be a month since i flew out of Vancouver to come back "home" to Estonia. in battle school i spent most of my time with four people. Brent, Eddie, Jordan and Lisa. now that i'm back "home" with my family i live with four people, my mom, my dad, my sister Eliazabeth(10) and my Brother peter(2). living with the battle schoolers was waaaaay easier. there were days when i wanted to slice, dice and utterly murder the battle school people, but not quite as many in 6 weeks as i've wanted to kill my family in the not even month i've been back. before i went to battle school everyone said "it's going to be so hard and intense" and "battle school is so challenging" and so on. but now i find my self missing the life of ease (in comparison to this) that i lived in vancouver. today i have been especially missing that. let me explain why. starting yseterday we've been on "vacation" as in my parents don't have to go in to work. i never get vacation, i'm still a baby sitting, school work doing, blogging machine. so today we decided to go into to town and do some stuff since the sun was shining and the earth looked deceptively peaceful and beautiful. so after going to HansaPank and getting my new I.D. card (in my new picture i look homicidal...) we went into old town to the tourist info because since my parents have free time they want to try playing tourist, oh won't that be fun...son after going to tourist info we decided to go on a search for the fabled Tallinn public library.

now wait, doesn't this day sound happy and peaceful so far? heck no! you have to factor in that the whole morning we were fighting about God knows what (i don't even remember anymore) and Peter had been screaming and now as we walked and trammed all over Tallinn Peter continued to make sure we couldn't forget his existence. so finally we did get to a library. not the Tallin public library, but the Estonian national library. no big difference you think right? well not to bad actually, but think about it like this. the national library is like the the library of congress. and we wanted a normal sized library with a nice small english section. well after visiting the toilets (when i'm alone this is never a time consuming thing to do, but with a family...30 minutes?) we then argued, and argued, and tried to stop peter from going in the girl bathroom, and then finally to shut him up i took him in the men's room and had to keep him from playing in the urinals. all in all quite stressful. then after another good fun argument (sarcasm heavily implied) we split up and my dad, sister and I went in and my mom stayed outside with Peter. and despite how stressful it was to get there i must admit i did quite enjoy the library once i was in and i now know my cure for cabin fever this winter, go to the national library and read science and religion books! (i know i'm a nerd, don't like it? too bad...)

so anyway after a short look in the library we went and got my mom and then because we love causeing ourselves stress we argued some more about what to do. "let's go home"
"i don't want to go home, it's a beautiful day. let's be outside"
"but there's nothing to do out here"
"sure there is..."
"got any ideas?"
"umm..."
"well then!"
so then i, being the only smart one on planet mars, came up with a bright idea, we could either go to tourist info and ask where the public library is or go to apollo bookstore and check out their famed english section. in the end we decided to do both. so with that stress over with (no thanks to anyone but me) we went to tourist info and found out where the public library was, and then of course had to have another argument about whether to go to the bookstore or library first. so after arguing about that, and a fun argument about how much Elizabeth kept complaining, we went to apollo and then to the library. and just finding the library was stressful enough, the crazy place was impossible to find, and then even after finding it we found it this was the "Estonian only" branch of the library system, so no English books. great.

so then we finally go home with me having a horrible headache and Elizabeth having tripped and scraed her knee on the way home. and so i went and lay down for a while Peter found stuff to scream about for a while and my dad went to buy supper. we then ate a pretty nice supper and sat down for a family meeting to discuss what we were doing for the rest of the night. and some where in there my mom brought up the evil subject of school and my sister freaked saying this is vacation, she doesn't want to do work. ummm, i might procrastinate but she just doesn't do her work, what does she need a vacation from? and once my mom said that freaked and started crying and ran into her room and i just said i thought faimly meetings where people burst into tears for no reason are retarded. and i still hold that opinion. so anyway then i went to the computer, put on dashboard confessional, "the places you have come to fear the most", and mellowed out as i gave you this blog post. so anyway, here is my final thesis, life here is a million times more stressful and intense than life in vancouver ever was. and i miss it. a lot. anyway, i want to end this on a positive note so here we go! i mentioned i got my new idea card today and beside me looking homicidal i also have something new written on the back. "vajab töötamiseks tööluba" do you know what tha means? of course not! but i do! it means i can get a job! well, i need parental permission but at least i can get a job! i've been wanting an income and now that's a legal possibilty! YAY! it's a definite upgrade from "ei ole lubatatud töötada" meaning "not allowed to work" so anyway, if anyone in Estonia is looking for an attractive, theatrical, fluent english speaking young man with a flexible schedule, call 56469016. anyway, now i'm done.