Abstinence, something I've been wanting to blog about for a while.

A few months I heard the statistic that 1 in 4 teenage girls in America has a sexual transmitted deisease. When I heard that I really wanted to blog and say something about it. But I couldn't really think of anything to that wouldn't come out the wrong way. But today I just had a conversation on MSN that prompted me to write this post that I've been wanting to write for a while. (I'm sorry, I know you're groaning and going "Why Chris? Why did I have to talk to you?") It has come to my attention over the last 18 years that one of the most popular things on Earth to talk about, think about, watch, and take part in is sex. Why? Well, if you can't answer that yourself you're too young to be reading this. I know that pretty much anything I can say on the subject will just be background noise. There is so much writing on abstinence out there. And I really have nothing new to say. Abstinence is the only 100% certain way of not getting any STDs, or getting yourself or someone else pregnant.

Yeah, I know, I know. "But what about other birth control? Ever heard of a condom?" Yes I have. But even if you have perfect protection, there are some things that can't be guarded against.You can't just have sex and not feel anything. Heck, it's all about the FEELING! And unless you've lost you're humanity along with your virginity, you'll feel things other than physical. There's emotion tied in there too. And face it, you can tell yourself all you want that it's okay, you love each other, you're going to get married anyway. (P.S. There's a certain two people who may think I'm refering to them. I'm not.) But in most cases you know that's not true. And if you're "going to get married anyway" and you "love each other" then you should love each other enough to be able to wait until you "get married anyway". Back to the feelings. Sex creates a spiritual and emotional bond. So does marriage. And if you think about it, having one without the other can kind of cause an imbalance. Sex is for a few minutes, if that. Marriage is for a lifetime. If you go and bond yourself with someone, but don't have that double bonding of marriage, you're opening yourself up to a load of potential hurt. The amount of long lasting hurt is not worth the short lasting pleasure. Please don't take the risk. Lives are destroyed everyday. One night, 3 lives messed up. And that's just counting those physically and intimately involved. I didn't even mention families. Friends. Communities.

It's not worth it. When I hear the statistic "1 in 4 teen girls has an STD" I'm just sickened. I walk down the street. I look at my friends. I count. "1, 2, 3, STD" I pray not. Because if 1 in 4 has an STD, does that mean that only 1 in 4 is a virgin? Or 1 in 8. Or 1 in 100. I hear that and I feel so hopeless. What does that mean for me? A guy praying for a pure wife. Definitely not deserving of one, but praying all the same. My heart just tears. And if 1 in 4 girls had an STD, I'm assuming there's some guys involved somewhere. The world is over run. Lust rules the world. So basically, this post is a militant call to prayer. This is me crying out my frustration at living in a fallen world. But I know there's still hope. And God is that hope. He is the only hope. So please pray with me. I don't know what to pray. Just pray. Thanks once again for reading my ramblings.

(P.S. Let me reiterate that this post is not a personal attack on anyone. It's just some stuff that's been on my heart to write.)

A not so modest proposal...

Kerli Kõiv, ma armastan sind. Ma tean kus on Eestimaa. Ma elan siin. Sina oled täitsa lahe tibu. Tahab abieluks saada? Ma saan ole sinu mees kui sina oled mu naine. Kas oled nõus? Palun saada mulle Email:chrisjohnclark@juno.com, või räägime MSN'is:kurisu_dude@yahoo.com. Või lihtsalt kirjuta mulle üks vääke komment siin bloggis. Ma palun sind! ;-P KSV, armastan sind kallis. Räägime hiljem!

Sorry English speakers. I just had to take a second to propose to Kerli. She should be writing to me soon telling me how much she loves me, and then we'll get married. I'll be like, "Teeme lapse...vanker" and she'll be like, "Lähme voodi...Taha peitu" and then I'll be all like, "Ma armastan sind...kividega loppida". It'll be so romantic. Sorry again for those of you who are not Estonian, but this just needs to be written. Anyway, yes, I know I have better things to blog about. In fact I owe someone a blog post. And then there's that other post I've been wanting to write. And then...I'm lazy! Sorry. Well, the last few nights i've been too busy, uh, sleeping to blog. But I will give this post some unrivaled time to sit and then post some new stuff tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm sure all of my many screaming female fans are all dying to know who Kerli is. Well, go check her out at http://www.myspace.com/kerlimusic, or www.kerlimusic.com. She's the new famous person I want to marry. Forget Amy Lee. Forget Hayley Williams. It's Kerli! Yeah, I know. It'll never work out. Me, the dark and insane American Christian, end up with the blond, kinda Gothy Estonian singer? Whatever. A guy can hope, right? I say that about every girl. Well, I'm off now. I'm going to visit junior soldier camp with the mission team tomorrow. That should be fun. But now I'm tired, good night!

Whoa! Dude! Like, life is freaking out, yo! Totally, man! Dang, I'm using a lot of slang, homey!

Why am I using so much slang? I mean, I'm sho' yo ain't not used to me laying it down like that. Usually. But I'm freaked out at the moment. FREAKED. OUT. I have no better way of describing how I'm feeling. I'm like freaking. Why? Well, I just got an E-mail from the nice people at Houghton College telling some interesting info. What is this info? I just found out my room number and roommate! AWESOME! SWEET! FREAKADELIC! LIKE, TOTALLY, FLIPPING SWEET, YO! So, since I'm nice, I'll share that info with you too. That way you know which room to bomb and who to pay to smother me in my sleep. I will be living...
In Rothenbuhler Hall, room 216 with my roommate...
Derek Schwabe!
Don't ask me how to pronouce the last name. I don't know yet. And everytime I type it I leave out the C by accident. And I know that I will inevitably mispronounce it the first 5 million times. I don't really know anything about him yet. I added him on FaceBook, so we should be able to start talking soon. And hopefully by the time we get to Houghton we'll hate each other so much that we'll save ourselves time figuring that out once we get there. Or not. To be perfectly honest I can't see anything to indicate why we were put together. In my 3 second google stalk I found this:
http://wantagetwp.com/community/
which makes him sound totally awesome. So I wonder, what makes someone so awesome get stuck with me? Punishment?

So now I must wonder. Does he like the same music? Is he an avid gamer? Is he an insanely radical Christian? Is he a great writer? Does he have a great sense of humor? I just don't know. It seems he doesn't have a blog, so I can't find out about him there. But I did a quick check, if you google "Chris Clark Houghton" I'm the first thing that comes up. So if he stalks the same way I do he should be reading this post. So yeah, I'm freaked out. But anyway. I don't have much more I can say for now. Just do me a favor and pray for me, because I'm sure to screw up every first impression I make. And I also kind of worry that when Derek does his stalking of me and can't find anything but moderately funny and overly emo blog posts he'll be like "Yuck, why'd I get stuck with the MK nerd?" But whatever! I must be off now. I'm bouncing off the walls! That's a great Sugarcult song by the way. Anyway, Cya! Must be off to do some crazy celebratory dancing!

"Dude, it's totally been forever. You better have a REALLY good excuse!"

Life...Uh, yeah. That's my really good excuse. Do I need a better one? I can't take a break to write a blog post. I've got too much going on. Well, that's not completely true. That's actually only one of my many excuses. One of my biggest excuses is the death of my laptop. I'm still in mourning over that useless hunk of crap. Once upon a time I'd go into my room, sit on my bed, fold my legs, set down my laptop and blog my heart out. But now, I go in my room, sit on my bed, fold my legs, reach for my laptop, and then remember that it's dead. Then I just sit, looking in my mirror and feeling empty. It's quite difficult living without an outlet for my emotions. I actually do a heck of a lot more writing than anybody realizes. Or at least I used to, before my laptop got slaughtered. But now my deep and profound thoughts and triumphs and defeats just cease to exist, rather than getting written down. It's very sad. And I don't like it. But I got so into the habit of blogging on my laptop that I have to remind myself that there's other places to blog. Like here! So now, lucky you, you get a new blog post!

Yeah, like, a totally new blog post. Isn't that awesome? Okay, now I'm going to give you the honest reason of why I haven't blogged. I've been working under the "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" philosophy for over a week now. And I haven't had anything nice to say. I have some, but I have so much negativity that I knew that if I tried to just give you the little bit of niceness, I'd end up spilling some nastiness on you too. This post has no point, neither nice or nasty, only a little bit of autobiographical writing. Because I need to let it out every now and then. The biggest things that have been going on in my life are A. My graduation and preparation for moving to Houghton and, B. The arrival of the 8 Hands On Mission Team girls. Of course anyone who knows me well will know why this has cause piles of not niceness. For those of you who don't know I'll explain. The fact that I've graduated brings the reality of leaving Estonia and moving to college much closer to home. And the 8 Mission Team girls just cement in my mind the fact that I'm para-jumping into a culture far more foreign to me than Estonia.

My passport country may be the United Staes of Whatever, but only a rare few are allowed to choose their passport country. And I'm not one of them. I carry a certain loathing...No, can't say that. That'll offend people. I carry a certain hatred...No, no. That'll get me abducted and waterboarded. I carry a certain...anti-love for my country of origin. Where as I absolutely love my HOME country of Estonia. I know so many people are schocked when they hear me say this. But it's true. I honestly don't know what I'll do when I leave. It's very difficult for me. So I sit and listen to My Chemical Romance and The Used. And be all emo. Change is very difficult for me. I've gotten used to my world being shaken up and turned upside down every few years. The longest I've ever lived in one place is 4 years. And those 4 years were hear in Estonia. But being used to something you hate doesn't make it much easier. In fact I think I probably hate change more than most people because I've experienced it so much. But it always seems that I leave just when everything is perfect. Why? I don't know. I don't choose when I move. Every move in my life has been decided by someone else. Except for this last move to Houghton. And that still wasn't chosen by me. My choice would be to sit and play video games with my friends until I'm old and gray, and never amount to anything. I'd be happy with that. But when you give you life to God, you give your whole life. Ugh. Now it sounds like I'm moaning about God. I'm not. I'm going to move on and blog about other things now...

Anyway. The mission team is here. That's...interesting. I've got some positive and some negative about them. But I'll just share the positive. We have 8 girls here: Mhairi Smeaton, Jennifer Coffill, Valerie Hartshorn, Christine Kelly, Kelly Marie, Olivia Munn, Franyfe Pena and Albeta Rakestraw. They're an interesting and diverse group of people. I'm actually surprised at how well they're doing together. Whenever I get dropped into a group that size I always end up fighting with someone. Maybe that's why there's no guys on the team. I was actually kind of upset when I learned that there would be no guys on the team. It leaves things rather unbalanced. But no amount of fussing by me will get us some strong Christian guys. And that's one of the great things about these 8 girls. As far as I can see they all seem extremely sincere. They might also seem like bumbling idiots at times, but at least they're sincere. I'd rather have 1 sincere idiot than 8 fake geniuses. And I got 8 sincere people. Of course I've got my favorites and, um, anti-favorites. But I notice that they have too. Some seem to like me. And some...not so much. And some even seem to be head over heels...Creepy. What kind of aerobics are they doing?

So anyway, I just got back from Tartu with them, where I was guide and occasional translater. It was my first chance to get to know them. And they confirmed one thing for me. If nothing else, they are all very American. It was an interesting time in Tartu. I hate going to Tartu. I have so many memories there. And so many of them bad. And the good ones are all pretty much soured by the bad. Just when I think my past is fully behind me I realize I'm wrong. Blogging about this compelled me to search for an old picture on my blog. And at one point in time this picture maybe me smile. Later it made me sick. Now I suddenly feel very cold and slightly light headed. It's difficult. So anyway. Yeah. I shouldn't have gone and looked up that picture. I completely lost what I was thinking about. But whatver. I've written enough for now anyway. Cya!