and now i will talk about one of the most interesting, and confusing subjects i can think of, girls!!

I haven’t blogged in a while so right now I think I will, I mean I’m only supposed to be doing schoolwork right now. And anyway I was just inspired by something, so when I’m divinely inspired I am allowed to take a break from school work, right? Well ok, it wasn’t exactly divine inspiration. but as I was looking through “Refuel” (my super kewl complete new testament, “the bible that looks like a magazine”. That thing is so kewl. (please note, I was supposed to be doing schoolwork, but looking at the bible lets you skip schoolwork, right?)) I noticed one of the little extra things they have. This thing has cool extras, on the cover it says “EXTRAS:GIRLS, CASH AND CARS”, by the way, it’s a guy bible/magazine. So any I looked at one of the extras and I read “10 random ways to impress a girl”. Now impressing girls is not exactly one of my skills, so I decided to read, and what I read interested me. So I will now list the ten things and comment on them.

1. show respect
well of course, if you don’t show a girl respect you get hurt, bad. I found that out the hard way…

2. get to know her friends
well I already do that, all the girls I know I know because I know all their friends.

3. worship god freely
I’ve never really thought of this as a way to impress girls…hmmm……

4. open doors for her
this is common good manners, always open a door for a girl, always.

5. spend time with her parents
urgh? You really want me to do that to impress a girl? Well I spend time with the Wittenbergs, but any other girls parents is kinda hard…oh well, what ever.

6. find out her interests
most girls I know have interests that are polar opposites of mine, except for music, I’m always cool with music.

7. pray for her
I’m on it.

8. be confident instead of arrogant
this is another basic must, do this to impress anyone, not just girls.

9. think before you talk
maybe I should do this more…

10. put her first
ladies first, my golden rule.


So what did you think? I think this is good advice I’m gonna put into practice. Now here’s one more thing I found, as I browsed more I came across something wonderful “10 random ways to scare off a girl who likes you”. Believe it or not I can use this one, because even I have those who I wish to scare off. Now I will comment on these

1. don’t spend one-on-one time with her
that’s the plan…

2. treat her the same way you treat any other girl
all girls I treat the same, except that one…and then there’s that other one…oops…

3. tell her how you honestly feel
sounds good to me.

4. talk to yourself
oh, wait. That scares people? I do that all the time, if it scares people maybe I should stop

5. don’t call her
I don’t call, I SMS (text message).

6. stay out of corners
I am terrified of corners, the presence of a girl just makes them worse. I will stay out of corners.

7. show up at school in a monks robe
if I actually went to school this would be great, but no matter where I go, no matter what I do to be freaky people just so “well that’s just Chris I guess…”

8. get too serious too fast
I can see this one backfiring, I’ll skip it.

9. see if you can set her up with a guy who’s a better fit
since when am I a matchmaker? I think I’ll buy her a copy of “ I kissed dating goodbye” instead.

10. dye your hair mauve
I was thinking dark white or bright black, or something like that…

Whew, sounds fun, can’t wait to get out there and try it! Now I’m tired and actually do need to get some schoolwork done today so, Cya. Oh, by the way, guess what else is in this book, tips on how to look good, and believe it or not they told me to kill my unibrow! I mean Meaghan and Sarah have told me this for months but I never believed them! My unibrow is the essence of what makes me evile (that’s not a typo, read it as spelled)!!! It’s likes Sampson’s hair! I can’t kill it, but what ever, tsau.