Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, those of you who are faithful to the Chronicles, those of you who, through continuous reading, have become ultimately cool…well, those of you who’
ve read about me at
Stockmann before should already know that every few months The Salvation Army here in Tallinn collects money at
Stockmann (a big store) every few months or so. And because we usually have so few volunteers, and so much me, I usually spend several hours every day standing and praying people will stop laughing at my UFO shaped hat long enough to give the Army some money. No, seriously. That’s pretty much what I do. Stand, pray, and think. It’s the perfect job. If only I could get paid for it…but my reward is in heaven and all that cool stuff so…in your face you pay-cheque
getters! Anyway, another way this job pays is in cool stories of what I get to see. And after seeing, then get to share with you, my honored reader. So here we go again with a bunch of way cool
Stockmann stories.
One thing I enjoy doing while standing is look at people. Now that might sound odd to you, but what else are you supposed to do for 2 hours besides try to make eye contact with everyone? So one funny thing I saw was a nice old couple walking together, one of those cute old couples that girls say to their boyfriends “I hope we’re still that much in love at that age…” while the guy thinks “I hope you don’t look like that when you’re that age!” you know the type. And apparently this couple had been together a very long time because they obviously did everything together. Even scratch their heads. It was hilariously funny. As they walked past they both as one reached up and scratched their heads, then still in perfect sync with each other brought their hands back down. For a second I thought it was some planned joke or something, but I could see no punchline. So must just assume that through their cute old couple
spidey senses they both did everything together. It was quite strange. Another fun thing that I saw, and always see when at
Stockmann, was a woman get her heel stuck in the floor. The floor at the entrance is this thing rubber full of holes so that snow can go in and melt without making a big slippery problem. And this floor seems to be just made to trap young ladies in heels. And today this one lady did this amazingly cool thing where she got her foot stuck and
didn’t notice so lifted up her foot and took half the floor with her. It was great. I was about to rush forward and be a gentleman, but she got free herself so I contented myself to laugh quietly at the absurdity of high heels. Another cool thing about being at
Stockmann is that if you stand at the front door, where I was today, then you’re right by the perfume. Now, normally I
wouldn’t this was a cool thing, but today it was, because they were advertising a perfume with the coolest name I’
ve ever heard. “Midnight Poison”
doesn’t that sound great? I want to meet a girl wearing “Midnight Poison” I’m assuming she’d have black hair and a blue dress just the like the girl in the add. And she’d probably have a twin with blond hair and a white dress wearing “Midday Antidote” or something. I don’t know why I thought it was so cool, I just think perfume names like “Envy” or “Dessert Breeze” or whatever they are just can’t compare to “Midnight Poison, the poison they use at midnight”
While I’m on the subject of perfume I’ll tell you about one of my new friends. My many new friends, I’ll tell you about them all, actually. As I was standing, rather bored because no one had even acknowledged my existence in the last 15 minutes, a couple of teenage girls walked past and one stopped and whipped out one of those strips of paper you put the perfume on to smell it and stuck it under my nose. Since my mouth is under my nose for a second I thought she was trying to feed it to me, but then I realized I should sniff, which I did, and than thanked her, which both her and her friend thought was hilarious. I bet it was love at first sight and now their going to hunt me down and shove even more scented papers up my nose. We can only hope. Anyway, my other friends were actually some old fans I
hadn’t seen since I last stood at
Stockmann. A group of 4 boys who have visited me other times at
Stockmann were pleasantly surprised to see me and stopped dead saying things like “it’s him!” “He’s back!” and “I’m hungry! Let’s go!” all very exciting. So we chatted for a minute, and I gave them a “
Mis on
PäästeArmee?” (What is The Salvation Army?) and invited them to youth night. There’s another group of young people who I’
ve invited and seriously hope come. If every young person I’
ve invited in the last month came then we’d have 9 new people at youth group. That would totally rock. I hope and pray that they come. Because if I get 4 new guys at youth group than all that leg, back and neck ache from standing for so long will be worth it. Though I’m also very curious about these boys because after leaving
Stockmann they headed in the direction of
MegaGame, which is right by
Stockmann…do I sound obsessed by the idea of this job at
MegaGame? I am. I’m hoping you will have guessed that by now. So if I already know some of the regulars than they should totally give me the job…right?
Anyway, enough about my obsessions. Two last things and then I’m done with this post. One other interesting thing that a saw was some poor guy who would have given me ten
Krooni, if only he
hadn’t been stealing some cheese. This poor guy would have made a clean get away if it wasn't for me. He walked through the alarm thingies with no problem that he could see, so then stopped to give me ten
Krooni. Only problem is that once he'd gotten out his ten the security guard asked him to open his backpack. Inside was tons and tons of cheese. I mean, Estonian cheese is really, REALLY good. But worth stealing? So i didn't get ten
Krooni because of the security guard. When he came back from doing whatever you do with cheese nappers he gave me a kind of
apologetic look and i gave him a "Just doing your job" nod. Quite exciting. The other exciting thing that happened was that Kristi, the long lost exile, stopped through and said hi. Kristi has been away in Hawai since...forever, and is now back. So i was very happy to see her. She gave me five Krooni and let me borrow her super special awesome extra cool Salvation Army spy pen. And she was quick to point out that though at times it may feel that no one reads my blog SHE DOES!! So now i need to write an apologetic blog post later because i've had several small outcries because of things i've written. I'll do that later. For now i must go, i need to get my dad to fix the laptop because i just made the "E" key fall off and "E" is ExtrEmEly EssEntial to mE whEn blogging. I didn't notice how much i used "E" until it was gone. But anyway, i'll Cya!
