I hope you liked my new version of that good old song “America”. It basically shows how I feel about being in America right now. Unhappy. I love Estonia. And I miss it a lot. After going to bed around 6:30 PM last night (jet-lag sucks) I had a wonderful dream about walking in Old Town Tallinn, seeing the beautiful old buildings, walking on the cobble stone roads, laughing at stupid American tourists…then I woke up in a bed on the third floor of the Salvation Army’s missionary condo on Nanuet, New York. I looked out the window…no beautiful old buildings. Nothing. Only a bunch of identical suburban houses with picture perfect lawns and a very flat street. I miss Estonia. I feel like being in America, just crossing the border, changes me somehow. I feel different. And I don’t like it. It’s like there’s something missing. A part of me that I keep very close to my heart is gone. Estonia, how I love you. Being in America doesn’t only rip off a piece of my heart but it replaces it with a dark, parasitic greed. I haven’t even been in any stores yet. But I can feel the desires welling up inside me. The desire to have everything I want. And to have it HERE! And to have it NOW! Welcome to America. I miss Estonia. I miss home. Many people would assume that America IS my home, seeing as how I’m technically an America. I may have an America passport, but my heart has never lived here, even when I did for the first 14 years of my life, America has never felt as much like home as Estonia. Hope this trip goes by fast, because another part of why I wish I was back home is that now that I’m here, things are going to start happening fast. And it’s going to sound like this…BOOM! Halloween..BOOM! College visits.BOOM! ThanksgivingBOOMtime2go. Things are going to keep coming at me fast and furious. That may not sound like a lot of things, but in America, things have a way of sneaking up on me from behind and garroting me. And it’s not a nice feeling. I miss Estonia, I wish I were home.
But America isn’t all bad. In America there are great radio stations, I’m sure of it. But since my MP3 player is a hunk of slag n’ plastic and since no one deemed us missionaries and our sacrifices worth anything we don’t even have a clock radio in this place. And I’m absolutely sure that America has great TV, I’m sure of it. How could America not have good TV? But since my mom is aspiring to be Amish we can’t watch TV right now. Great. But now the final thing I’m sure America has. Great internet. It must have great internet. I mean of course America’s internet will be better than the rest of the world, right? Well right now I am once again writing this blog post in Microsoft Word and not on blogger as I would like because I’m not able to connect to the internet right now. Crap. Welcome to America. Well I guess after saying all that I have to take by my opening statement at the beginning of this paragraph. America is all bad. But it’s people aren’t. To finish off this very negative, anti-America post I will say something very positive, and pro-American (as in American person), and happy. Roughly 2 years ago my beautiful, beloved and cherished Nintendo 64 (N64) was stolen. It was the second N64 to have been stolen from me since moving to Estonia. And it made me sad. And then when I came to America to buy a replacement I was told that no one would sell me one. Once again I was sad. But because the thieves who stole from me the second time were stupid and un-thorough teenagers they missed several games and controllers, so I was left with N64 stuff, but no N64. So now as I prepared to sell my X-Box I also decided to sell my old, and useless to me N64 stuff. Until I was hit with a sudden inspiration. I probably wouldn’t get more than 5 bucks for that old N64 stuff anyway, but my cousin Adam has an N64, why don’t I just give it to him? Spread the video game love. So I fired off an E-mail to my cousin (who I normally don’t E-mail with much because all I ever get from him is chain mail) telling him that I would love to throw some free stuff at him. Then yesterday, before dying in bed, I checked my E-Mail, saw one from Adam, opened it up and what to my wondering eyes did appear? Adam told me he never used his N64 and so if I were to give him the stuff it would just go gather dust with the rest of his N64 stuff. He then went on to say that because he never used it, would I like free stuff thrown at ME? Now I’m not used to free stuff being thrown at me outside of Christmas and Birthday so wrote him back an ecstatic reply saying that, yes, I would like an N64 to give a nice home to. So now when I leave America I will leave the proud owner of a Nintendo 64, meaning that the age of nostalgic fun will return. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to beat Zelda:Majora’s Mask this time! (Every time I get to the last dungeon my N64 gets stolen. It’s happened twice, and I‘m starting to see it as a personal challenge!) So I’m quite happy now, well, as happy I can be after everything I told you about in the first 2 thirds of this post. But now I must go, so until next time, Tsau mu armsad!
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