Saturday, November 17, 2007

Cleansing by rock music is the best ever...

It's been a while since I listened to project 86 but by impulse I put it on my MP3 player and I thank God I did. I've been doing great so I guess I should have been expecting something. It's normally when I'm feeling best that something happens to shake me up. And last night I was attacked in my sleep. A masked assasin snuck in through the shadows and plunged a cold dagger into my peaceful sleep. Just so you know I'm speaking metaphorically at the moment. I'm fine physically. And I'm fine mentally and spiritually too. At least i am now. But last night I had a dream. Normally the dreams that torture me are of the past. Reliving the moments I want wiped from my memory. And those are bad enough. This time though, I dreamt of the future. And in this dream I faced one of my most desperate and terrible fears. One that I have never blogged or talked to most anyone about, and most likely never will. It's one of my most terrible fears in conjunction with my most terrible memory. And it jumped me when I least expected it, and can least fight it, in my dreams. But I'm pretty used to pushing things to the back of my mind to fight later. So I put it away, to deal with later. And as I came down to the hotel lobby with my Dad's laptop to go online it just hit me. A missile of pain to my soul. I sat down, checked my E-mail and put on some NightWish. That didn't help. Songs I normally love tortured me as I heard the lyrics. I went on FaceBook, no help. I randomly flipped through my Mp3 player and then I hit Project 86. Oh yeah...Some people hate this type of music. But I swear it cleanses my soul. It digs deep into me, and fights my pains and fears and strenghens me. So anyway, I know I haven't really been blogging much about what's been going on in my life lately. But I've been busy building ginger bread houses and playing with little kids. It's just what I do. Anyway, I think that I just gave you another thoroughly confusing and pointless little post that someday I will read and understand, but you never will. So until next time, Tsau!

2 comments:

Kapten Clark said...

SASB #682

Tunes: Forward! be our Watchman, 203; Princethorpe, 206
Meter: 6.5.6.5. D.


1.
Forward! be our watchword,
Steps and voices joined;
Seek the things before us,
Not a look behind.
Burns the fiery pillar
At our army's head;
Who shall dream of shrinking,
By our captain led?
Forward through the desert,
Through the toil and fight;
Jordan flows before us,
Zion beams with light.

2.
Forward, flock of Jesus,
Salt of all the earth,
Till each yearning purpose
Springs to glorious birth.
Sick, they ask for healing,
Blind, they grope for day;
Pour upon the nations
Wisdom's loving ray.
Forward, out of error,
Leave behind the night;
Forward through the darkness,
Forward into light.

3.
Glories upon glories
Hath our God prepared,
By the souls that love him
One day to be shared.
Eye hath not beheld them,
Ear hath never heard,
Nor of these hath uttered
Thought or speech a word.
Forward, ever forward,
Where the heaven is bright;
Till the veil be lifted,
Till our faith be sight.


Henry Alford (1810-71)

Kapten Clark said...

SASB #860

Tunes: Misericordia, 475; Chilhood, 471: Just as thou art, 474
Meter: 8.8.8.6.


1.
Just as I am, thine own to be,
Friend of the young who lovest me,
To consecrate myself to thee,
O Jesus Christ, I come.

2.
In the glad morning of my day,
My life to give, my vows to pay,
With no reserve, and no delay,
With all my heart, I come.

3.
Just as I am, young, strong and free,
To be the best that I can be
For truth and righteousness and thee,
Lord of my life, I come.

4.
With many dreams of fame and gold,
Success and joy to make me bold;
But dearer still my faith to hold,
For my whole life, I come.

5.
And for thy sake to win renown,
And then to take my victor's crown,
And at thy feet to cast it down,
O Master, Lord, I come.


Marianne Farningham (1834-1909)