Best. Laptop. EVER!

Remember how I was feeling BURNING HATRED for my ugly piece of dysfunctional laptop thingy? Well, I'm over that now. I can move on. I'm on to bigger and better things. And better and cooler laptops! You see that B-E-A-utiful laptop? That's the Lenovo ThinkPad R61. That's the little jumble of wonders that I'm going to get when I get to Houghton. SWEET!! Take that, other laptop! And by the way, Matt, even you could not fix this. The problem is hardware, not software, we need to replace the thingy where the thingy connects to the thingy. Becuase the thingy is broken. (The power plug is broken, inside the laptop itself, and it would be a waste to hunt down the replcement part for such an old laptop)And anyway, even without all those embarrasing thingy problems, it doesn't matter! I'm getting a new laptop anyway! A beautiful, wonderful, Lenovo ThinkPad R61! Awesome!

I'm actually writing this blog post in response to a request, so allow me to give those of you with more knowledge about computers than me all the cool info. This laptop comes with...

Core Duo T7500 (2.2 GHz) Processor
14” WXGA+ Screen
1 Gig RAM
120 GB Hard Drive (5400 RPM)
Multi-burner drive (CDRW/DVDRW)
56K Modem/Gigabit Ethernet a/b/g Wireless
4 in 1 media card reader
Integrated camera
Carrying Case
Battery

I know very little about computers. So all that means to me is...oohh, shiny! And a camera! Sweet! And depending on what the carrying case is like I probably won't use it. I've already been planning on been a really cool messenger bag at Houghton. All I care about is whether I have internet (56K Modem/Gigabit Ethernet a/b/g Wireless), lots of memory (120 GB Hard Drive (5400 RPM)), and can play all my games (I don't know anything about computers, what should I put here??!?!). Despite the fact that half of that is gibberish to me I'm still very satisfied with this laptop. Why? 2 reasons. First, it comes with a built in webcam! It's Skype time! And secondly, it's black! What more do I need in life than a black laptop? Nothing! And also I'm pretty sure that now everybody who knows computers better than me (all of you reading this) will comment something about the pros or cons of this particular laptop. Please let me know what you think! I just can't wait to get it.

So, it's almost scary to realize it but two months from today I'll be blogging from America, maybe on that laptop, maybe not. Either way, I'll be in America. Freaky. I'm going to miss Estonia. I'm going to miss my friends. I'm going to miss old town. I'm going to miss EVERYTHING! Something really funny happened the other day. On Sunday I gave my testimony about how in Luke when Jesus said, "Follow me" the disciples left everything to follow. Home, friends, old town, EVERYTHING! And I found it especially funny when Jesus called Peter and all the fisher dudes. Let me recreate the story in my own crazy way. Peter to his friend, "Dude, like, we totally didn't catch anything all night. That totally sucks, 'cause I need money, and so I need to sell some fish. This is like so totally bogus, man!" Then Jesus walks by, "Yo fisher dude, did I hear you didn't catch anything? Sucks to be you man. Hey, wait a minute. Go back out and throw your net on, like, the other side of the boat. Yeah, that side, bro." Peter and co. go out, and Peter says, "Dude, there's like fish everywhere! I wonder who, like, that dude is who told us to throw our nets on, like, this side. He's totally rightous, man! We're practically sinking our boats, there so full of fish!" Then they come back to shore, boats full of fish, and Jesus says, "Yo fisher-homies, follow me, and be fishers of dudes!" And then the disciples left everything and followed him. EVERYTHING! What happened to those big stinking piles of fish? Left everything. Even the stinking piles of fish.

Wow, cool story. So anyway, I was talking about how, just like the disciples left everything to follow Jesus, I'm also leaving everything to follow Jesus. And just like it wasn't easy for them, it isn't easy for me. Then after the meeting, Tiit, one of the older, and slightly more eccentric, men in our corps came to me and said, "Chris! While you were giving your testimony God spoke to me!" "Great!" I said, "What did he say?" Tiit looked me straight in the eye, and with a dead serious look on his face declared, "God told me that you mustn't leave Estonia! We need good Christian young men like you!" Well, first of all I was flattered, then a little dissapointed. If anyone other than Tiit had been the one to say this, I might give it more credibility. So I spent the next ten minutes explaining my reasons for leaving, and in the end he agreed that, yes, it would be best for me to go. But I must come back as often as possible. And he didn't mension God's message after that, so...Yeah. Anyway, I'm done blogging for now. I hope you, like, totally enjoyed my retelling of Luke, dudes and dudettes! I must be off now. Tell me what you think of my awesome new laptop to be! Now I must go! I'm off to play some old school N64 with my friends! Party! Cya

Ouch! Could my life not be exciting for just FIVE MINUTES?!

Wow. You see that crimson streak down my forehead? Do you know what that is? Did I have a crazy food fight, and get slaughtered by a ketchup wielding maniac? No, but that would be cool. No, that's blood. Yes, blood. I did something very, VERY stupid last night. Well, no girls were involved, so it wasn't THAT stupid. But my head was involved, and normally you'd think, "Well, if Chris was using his head I'm sure Everything must be totally A-Okay!" But I wasn't using my head like that. I was asleep. Ever since I've started sleeping in this bed, say, about two years, I've been smashing my head on the headboad. On my "old" bed in Tartu I had a high headboad, so I could keep moving higher and higher up the bed until my head was touching the headboard. But on this bed I have a head board that is about 3 inches high. Now, I'm not 100% sure what I do in my sleep, but I assume it's something like this. I lift up my head and shift my whole body upwards, and since my head hasn't bumped anything yet I assume it's safe to drop my head. Hard. Well, about 50% of the time I'm WRONG! And last night was one of those times. Normally I'd just bonk my head, wake up kind of dazed and then go back to sleep. But last night I must have down something crazy. I remember smacking my head last night. And I remember it hurting, but not so bad that it didn't let me sleep. So when Peter came into my room this morning and woke me up he had quite a strange way of doing it. "Bubby? Why are you bleeding?" And then when I looked in the mirror and confirmed that, yes, I did have a stream of blood going down my forehead Peter started crying because I was hurt. My life is way too exciting. My head feels fine. I probably killed some brain cells though. And my bloody wound itches a little, but other than that I'm okay. I still think I looked really cool with that blood on my head. Too bad all good things must come to an end. Anyway, I thought it was so cool that I took that picture. If there's any (female) vampires reading this, please note how tasty my blood looks. Now I need to go take a shower and wash my bloody hair. How cool is that! Bloody HAIR!! Sweet. Anyway, I'm off, Cya!

The Craptop from the depths of Hades, sent to KILL US ALL!!!

Well, as you may have guessed, I'm feeling quite a bit of BURNING HATRED towards my laptop right now. This thing is evil. Seriously. It's just out to make me hate it. Why do I hate it? Well, normally I'd put that shiny silver beauty on my lap and write my blog posts on her. She's always had problems. I knew about the problems from the beginning, but I thought she could change! I knew there was good in her. And I thought matbe together we could overcome her inner darkness. But no, she's stabbed me in the heart with a big metaphorical knife! NO!!! Anything but that. And how is she doing that? Well, my laptop has just decided that it's just going to stop working. It's obviously a female laptop, that's why it's so tempermental. So I refer to it as, "Her". But she seems to have given up hope on life. My laptop has been having problems for months, but it seems to have finally sunk under the waves of darkness and gone to the depths of death. Remember when my X-Box died? I was sad. I was practically singing a requeim. But now that my laptop has decided to die I'm not sad, I'm ANGRY!! It must DIE! It deserves this! AQnd part of why is because now I must blog on my parent's computer, which means I don't have the leisure time that I'm used to. Irritating. Now I must go, due to lack of leisure time. Cya

Fear? Apprehension? Dark foreboding of things to come?

I found this picture by doing a google picture search for "Foreboding". I think this picture represents my feelings well. Dark clouds coming. I don't know completely why, but I have unnamed irrational fears clawing at my soul. Tomorrow I graduate. Tomorrow the mission team comes. Tomorrow I think my life will speed up immeasurably, and I don't know when it will slow down. When I get to college? Maybe. But I don't want it to. This is my last time in Estonia, and I want to enjoy every second of it. I scared of going to college. I'm worried about how this summer will go with the stress of the mission team here and it being my last summer. I have so much, I feel overwhelmed. But sitting her whining about my fears will get me nowhere. I have one option, and one option only. Put on Bond's, "Explosive" and jump in! Life awaits, and no matter how much I may fear the future, I know that I will conquer it. I'm standing on a strong, secure, familiar cliff above an unknown sea of possible futures. And I'm gonna jump! Cya!

Hmmm, thinking, thinking…thinking…

That’s what I’ve been doing lately. Besides schoolwork, housework and hanging out with friends I’ve mostly been thinking. Why thinking? Well, because I enjoy it. To some extent. And it’s a lot nicer thinking than I used to have. It used to be that if I’d been thinking a lot lately that I’d been getting all emo and sinking into the shadows of the past that I hate. But lately I’ve instead been thinking about the future. Of course I’m slightly apprehensive and fearful, but also very excited. One thing I’m especially excited about is getting a new laptop once I get to college. This dysfunctional hunk of silicon and plastic that I’m typing on at the moment has more problems than I care to think about. But I will mention one. One that really irritates me. Especially as I’m trying to write. The “B” key on my keyboard sticks horribly. So in this one post I’ve so far written the words “Een”, “Esides”, “Ecause” and “Ut” thanks to that. And my “E” key sticks occasionally too, but at the moment it seems to be working. This laptop is very temperamental. It will work if it’s in a good mood, if not all the keys will stick and it will run slow. But today it seems to be happy. And why shouldn’t it be? We should all be happy because I’ve finally decided to blog again! YAY! How awesome. And, as the name of this post suggests, I’ll be blogging about my thoughts of late.

I’m sure that, as always, you’re wondering why I haven’t blogged. Well, as I said, I’ve been thoughtful lately. And I must admit that a little while ago I was feeling kind of reminiscent and lonely, listening to songs like Blink 182’s “Down”, and being all emo. Too busy looking back to care what was ahead. Now those of you who are my good friends are with me often may be like, “Wait a minute! You weren’t emo. I was hanging out with you and we were having loads of fun!” But of course, when I’m feeling emo I don’t want other to know. Because that really brings the party down. I mean, if I start singing, “Tidal waves they rip right through me/tears from eyes worn/cold and sad” then no one would want to hang out with me. They’d be all like, “Oh no, it’s emo kid! RUN!” and then I’d be emo because of that. But now I’ve quite staring at what’s behind, because if I spend all my time focused on what’s behind I’ll never see what’s here now, and life is very good right now. I know you hate it when I’m not clear why I’m emo. So I’ll let you know. Part of it is because, as far as romance goes, I’m utterly alone. Now, as everyone knows, this is of my own choosing. But just because you make a rule yourself doesn’t mean you can’t hate it. The guy who came up with the idea of me staying single until I found a girl I’d be willing to marry was a real jerk. I think he just wants to irritate me and make my life difficult. I think he’s insane, why should I stay single when I could be out “falling in love”? Well, I’m the insane, irritating jerk. And I’m sticking by my standards, despite how emo it can make me feel.

The reason why this was in my mind is because summer is a time when people float together and fall in love. The weather is beautiful, everyone feels good, everyone is happy. But I exclude myself from this. And I long for something unseen. I blogged a long time ago about my future wife, who for now I am calling “Amaranth” simply because I don’t know her yet. And lately I’ve been thinking about her a lot. I had a dream a little while ago. I was waiting for the tram at Hobujaama on my way home when I saw her. A girl with black hair, a black knee length skirt and a black jacket. She had a very pale face, and impossibly red lips. I saw her walking towards a tram stop going in the opposite direction, and watched her. She walked erect, face forward. And then, just as she reached the tram stop she turned, and from all the way across the two trams stops our eyes met. And our gazes held. Somehow I knew who she was. And I decided I needed to talk to her. I needed to know her. And so I started to cross over to her tram stop and almost got hit by the number 1 tram, headed to Kopli. But by the time I got to the tram stop she was gone, and the tram was pulling away. I looked but couldn’t see her in the tram, but knew she must be on it. I tried running after the tram, but it was pointless. I woke up shaking, put on my hoody and slung my bag over my shoulder, ready to run and go take a tram to Kopli and look for her. Then I realized that it was 6 A.M. and I’d been dreaming.

I don’t know why I just blogged about that, I guess I just wanted to explain my emo-ness. My past and my singleness. Thus is life. But anyway, I’m thinking happy thoughts now. I’m happy because on Tuesday the mission team comes from America, and that should be fun. I’m happy because I can’t wait for all the camps this summer. And I’m happy because I’m going to college. And I’m especially happy that I’m getting a new laptop! Though I’m also happy that I currently have a defunct craptop. It’s better than nothing, and after this, my new laptop will seem even cooler than normal! Sweet! I’m sorry, I’d planned this to be a post about my happy thoughts, but it turned out to be about my emo-ness and odd dream. Well, whatever. I’m going to be now. Goodnight!

P.S. I wrote this post two days ago, but thank to my laptop acting stupid I haven’t been able to publish it!

Not funny.

Normally if I ever blog about a Get Fuzzy comic I'm writing about how funny it is. I love Get Fuzzy. It's one of my favorite comic strips. But today when I opened my E-mail and saw this I just wanted to blog and say that's not funny. Innocent Estonians were forcefully deported to Siberia by the USSR. That's not funny.

Aghhh! Scary! Scary!

I’m TERRIFIED! It’s like Achmed just told me to be silent or something. I’m really freaked out. I was already freaked out by the by the fact that 2 months and 2 weeks from today I’ll be suffering from jetlag in America, but then I got, THE E-MAIL! No! Not…THE E-MAIL!!! What is this E-mail of which I speak? Does the “E” in the E-mail stand for “Evil”? Like “Evil-Mail” or something? No, but it’s still scary. I got an E-mail today from Houghton, a place I both fear and desire. This E-mail was about, dare I say it? Something so terrifying, so shocking, so scary that I don’t know what to do. This E-mail was about…Choosing classes for my first semester! AGHH!! Scary! Scary! Now I have to make decisions that will effect the rest of my life, and if I screw up I’ll get eaten by nasty little demon spawn that eat people who make mistakes when choosing classes! That, and also the Boogie Man will probably try to eat me too. And Godzilla, can’t forget him! So now here I am, demon spawn, Boogie Man and Godzilla are all hungrily breathing down my neck, waiting for me to mess up. Now of course I’m exaggerating…slightly. But not much. I mean, everyone knows the Boogie Man just really likes to dance. And Godzilla protects us from Donkey Kong, so I guess he’s good too. But those demon spawn will EAT ME ALIVE!!

It’s not really all that bad. It actually kind of reminds me of creating a character in some role playing game (I am such a nerd!). I have 14 credit points that I can spend on strength, dexterity, constitution and so on to make my rogue-warrior thing awesome! Well, kinda. I’ve got 14 credit points to spend on my different classes. Not classes as in Warrior, Rogue, Wizard and so on (though that would be pretty cool!) but classes as in the classes I’m going to take. Such as principles of writing and biblical literature. I really like that analogy of it being like making an RPG character, but I can’t think of how to say it. It’s more like making a non-RPG character. A Realistically Perfect Guy. That’s what I’m creating. I’m actually pretty much done now. I just have two more things I need to decide about. One is about whether I do some choir which I’m not horribly interested in or do some classical music listening thing that I am interested in but is more work. That will probably be easily decided in the end. But then the harder thing is picking which PE stuff to do. I already right away picked swimming because I love to swim. Then I’m supposed to pick on more. And as I look down the list I also look into the future…

If I pick soccer (football) I look into the future and I see myself running down the field, someone passing me the ball, going to kick it into the goal, I have a perfectly clear shot, and then I completely miss the ball and kick up a clump of dirt instead. Or kick the ball, but in the wrong direction, passing it to the other team, and causing our team to lose. Then I see the angry faces, the “Oh my God! Why’d we have to have such a loser on our team?” looks. With volleyball, I jump for the ball…and completely miss. Same thing, I am the loser. Table tennis, “What? I have to play against HIM? That idiot barely knows the rules!”. I’m not good at sports, and now I have to pick one. When I play I know I’ll screw up. But I just laugh it off, I don’t mind. But what I do mind is when my teammates don’t laugh it off. When I become the outcast because I make a mistake. It’s happened to me so many times before that I fear it now. I don’t want to go and play a game with a bunch of competitive guys who will put me down for now being so good. This has been one of my greatest fears about going out into the world. Among my friends if we play volleyball at the beach and I mess up it’s no big deal. But if someone competitive comes and plays then they ruin it. And so I fear what will happen at Houghton. I guess it’s only for one semester and whatever, but I still worry about it. In the end I’ll end up picking one of these, and if it turns out good then I’ll be happy. If it turns out exactly as I fear then I’ll vent my frustrations on my blog and just bear it for a semester. We’ll see.

Anyway, I love blogging. It really helps me thing. Now I think I’ve got figured out what I’m going to do. But anyway, please pray for me as I’m making all these scary decisions and transitions, because under the jokes I really truly am terrified. Those demon spawn look hungry! But now I must be off. I need to take a shower and get ready for going to discussion group tonight. Until later, Cya!

Other stuff!

Now I’m sure all of you are wondering who Helen is. All of you except Helen that is. At least I hope you’re not confused about who you are, that would be weird. I’ve been saying for a little while that I need to blog about “other stuff”, including Helen, for some time now. So here it goes! Get ready for some other stuff! I’ll start off with Helen because I know how much you love it when I blog about girls. Actually, Pia (another girl!) just told me yesterday that I spend way too much blogging about girls and facial hair. So I’ve decided that the only better option is to blog about girls WITH facial hair! That would be cool. But naw, I doubt Helen has a beard. But anyway, you’ve heard about Anneli. You’ve heard about Evelin. You’ve heard about Keit, Liis, Kelli, Mariliis, Nadia, Elis, Etc., Etc. but have I ever told you about Helen? No, of course not! Why not? Is it because she’s my secret under cover lover paramour girl? Is it because she’s a dark phantom from my past? Is it because I’m madly in lovely with her but scared to let her find out? None of the above! Though I think that whole paramour thing could work out. I’m extraordinarily single. Never mind that, back to what I was saying. I’ve never met Helen, nor really talked to her. But I can describe her. She’s about 5’9 with beautiful curly hair, a cute face and sparkling eyes. She has a wonderful personality and is loads of fun and has a great sense of humor. And I’ve never met or talked to her, so how do I know all this? She reads my blog! Anyone who reads my blog must be all those things to some extent. Despite what anyone might say I will never stop believing that everyone who read my blog is both female and madly in love with me. Which Helen might be, I don’t know. I mean, I’m sure she’s female, just not in love with me.

But anyway, let me tell you how I found out about Helen reading my blog. I was in Rakvere with Keit and we were talking about my blog and who reads it and Keit told me one of those things that really irritate me. There are people who read my blog who I don’t even know! And who I don’t know read my blog! Now, let me just clarify something. I LOVE the fact that I have so many readers, and I think it’s fun that I don’t know about half of them, I’m just really curious about who reads my blog! I’ve tried like a million different ways to find out who reads my blog, and according to the hit counter I added I get like 40 people a day looking at my blog. Who are you all? I can only think of like 10 people, therefore the other 30 are…a MYSTERY! But now I know that one of them is a cute girl from southern Estonia named Helen, who is probably madly in love with me…or something. She just added me on MSN, and I just realized how awkward I’m making our first conversation. By writing all this I’m probably going to make her be like, “Ummm, Hi. Chris? Uhh, well, I’m not madly in love with you. Just so you know.” But at least she reads my blog, and that’s special! I love it when people read my blog, especially when they don’t know me. Because if they know me then they’re biased and will say my blog is good because they don’t want me to go all emo-Sasuke on them. But if you don’t know me except through my blog, and yet you still read it…I must be AWESOME!!

Anyway, now that I’ve embarrassed Helen beyond belief and completely made her hate me I can move on to the other other stuff. No wait, before I continue I have a special announcement to make. Something has come to my attention and I believe that the whole world needs to know. This is a big secret, exclusively revealed on my blog. Something so big, so amazing, so shocking, it must involve Keit! The big earth shattering secret is…Keit loves the Jonas Brothers! Oh wait, she told me to write it in big letters. KEIT LOVES THE JONAS BROTHERS! Why am I telling you this? Because thanks to Keit I sorta, kinda, think that that one song (“Hold on”) is just a little bit okay. Yes, I’m in denial. I like the Jonas brothers, and Keit LOVES them! The more I find out about the Jonas Brothers the more I think they’re cool. And here’s something really cool that makes Keit mad with jealousy. Nick Jonas played Garoche in the Broadway play Les Miserables in 2003. The same year that I went to go see Les Miserables! So that means that I’ve seen Nick Jonas before, in real life, and Keit hasn’t! Haha! Poor Keit, she deserves to see Nick Jonas more than I do, because she LOVES him. By the way, I don’t keep saying that Keit LOVES Nick Jonas with odd capital letters to mock her, I’m doing it because someday Nick Jonas will be lonely and looking for some love and he’ll do a google search and find Keit through my blog. And then I’ll be friends with a famous person. Wouldn’t that be cool?

Anyway, I have something really important that I have thus far stupidly neglected to mention! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTI! Saturday was Kristi’s birthday, so we embarrassed her horribly by singing happy birthday to her in church on Sunday. On Saturday I was able to tag along with Michael and Kristi to Kristi’s family birthday party, which was really cool because I got to see Keit’s room, which I promised to blog about. Do you know what shocked me about Keit’s room? Not the pictures of Nick Jonas. Not the pictures of Miley Cyrus. Not sign on the declaring that she has OJD (Obsessive Jonas Disorder). What shocked me is that her room is bigger than mine! No fair! Though I don’t really mind, I don’t need more space. But seriously, I have never seen a room with a more unified decoration scheme. Jonas, Jonas and more Jonas! I mean, like, what the Jonas! After that I went with Michael and Kristi and we checked out some of the places where the different wedding events will take place. I took that AMAZING picture out the window of the car while driving past the cliff where the wedding ceremony will be. Isn’t it beautiful? Then on Sunday afternoon Kristi had a party with all her friends at her and Michael’s new apartment (Which, by the way, is awesome). We had loads of fun playing Phase 10, Uno and Twister. And Pia was there, and I haven’t seen Pia in forever. Though she suggested that rather than blog about girls and facial hair I should blog about her, so I just did.

Anyway, that was all loads of fun, and we ended up playing Phase 10 until 1 A.M. I won of course. And now I’m home and my parent’s have the day off, which means I have to do all sorts of house work all day. Fun. Anyway, must be off. The trash must be taken out!