I’m TERRIFIED! It’s like Achmed just told me to be silent or something. I’m really freaked out. I was already freaked out by the by the fact that 2 months and 2 weeks from today I’ll be suffering from jetlag in America, but then I got, THE E-MAIL! No! Not…THE E-MAIL!!! What is this E-mail of which I speak? Does the “E” in the E-mail stand for “Evil”? Like “Evil-Mail” or something? No, but it’s still scary. I got an E-mail today from Houghton, a place I both fear and desire. This E-mail was about, dare I say it? Something so terrifying, so shocking, so scary that I don’t know what to do. This E-mail was about…Choosing classes for my first semester! AGHH!! Scary! Scary! Now I have to make decisions that will effect the rest of my life, and if I screw up I’ll get eaten by nasty little demon spawn that eat people who make mistakes when choosing classes! That, and also the Boogie Man will probably try to eat me too. And Godzilla, can’t forget him! So now here I am, demon spawn, Boogie Man and Godzilla are all hungrily breathing down my neck, waiting for me to mess up. Now of course I’m exaggerating…slightly. But not much. I mean, everyone knows the Boogie Man just really likes to dance. And Godzilla protects us from Donkey Kong, so I guess he’s good too. But those demon spawn will EAT ME ALIVE!!
It’s not really all that bad. It actually kind of reminds me of creating a character in some role playing game (I am such a nerd!). I have 14 credit points that I can spend on strength, dexterity, constitution and so on to make my rogue-warrior thing awesome! Well, kinda. I’ve got 14 credit points to spend on my different classes. Not classes as in Warrior, Rogue, Wizard and so on (though that would be pretty cool!) but classes as in the classes I’m going to take. Such as principles of writing and biblical literature. I really like that analogy of it being like making an RPG character, but I can’t think of how to say it. It’s more like making a non-RPG character. A Realistically Perfect Guy. That’s what I’m creating. I’m actually pretty much done now. I just have two more things I need to decide about. One is about whether I do some choir which I’m not horribly interested in or do some classical music listening thing that I am interested in but is more work. That will probably be easily decided in the end. But then the harder thing is picking which PE stuff to do. I already right away picked swimming because I love to swim. Then I’m supposed to pick on more. And as I look down the list I also look into the future…
If I pick soccer (football) I look into the future and I see myself running down the field, someone passing me the ball, going to kick it into the goal, I have a perfectly clear shot, and then I completely miss the ball and kick up a clump of dirt instead. Or kick the ball, but in the wrong direction, passing it to the other team, and causing our team to lose. Then I see the angry faces, the “Oh my God! Why’d we have to have such a loser on our team?” looks. With volleyball, I jump for the ball…and completely miss. Same thing, I am the loser. Table tennis, “What? I have to play against HIM? That idiot barely knows the rules!”. I’m not good at sports, and now I have to pick one. When I play I know I’ll screw up. But I just laugh it off, I don’t mind. But what I do mind is when my teammates don’t laugh it off. When I become the outcast because I make a mistake. It’s happened to me so many times before that I fear it now. I don’t want to go and play a game with a bunch of competitive guys who will put me down for now being so good. This has been one of my greatest fears about going out into the world. Among my friends if we play volleyball at the beach and I mess up it’s no big deal. But if someone competitive comes and plays then they ruin it. And so I fear what will happen at Houghton. I guess it’s only for one semester and whatever, but I still worry about it. In the end I’ll end up picking one of these, and if it turns out good then I’ll be happy. If it turns out exactly as I fear then I’ll vent my frustrations on my blog and just bear it for a semester. We’ll see.
Anyway, I love blogging. It really helps me thing. Now I think I’ve got figured out what I’m going to do. But anyway, please pray for me as I’m making all these scary decisions and transitions, because under the jokes I really truly am terrified. Those demon spawn look hungry! But now I must be off. I need to take a shower and get ready for going to discussion group tonight. Until later, Cya!
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