Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Standing on the razor's edge....

I feel like there is a quote somewhere in the back of my mind that's something like that, but it's just not coming. But i have a very different meaning then most people would have when talking about standing on the razor's edge. I mean a literal razor. And i'm terrified. Now trust me. This all sounds worse than it really is. What i'm scared is actually as simple, and terrifying as, a razor's edge. Let me explain. A few days ago my electric shaver broke. And i haven't gotten it fixed yet. And so for a while i've just been growing out a nasty beard. But today i brought my shaver to some place to be fixed and they said they'd call me "sometime this week" with info on price and such. But by friday i'd like to be beautiful. Friday is youth night, when the corps is full of beautiful girls. And so i'd like to try to look beautiful too. So i see only a few options left. Either i (A.) pray really hard that they fix may shaver and call me tommorow (Well, i'll do this anyway) or i (B.) go out and bye a new electric shaver (Where will i get the money?) or i will mostly likely be forced to (C.) get my dad to show me how to shave with a razor. AGH!!! A RAZOR!!! I don't like razors!!!! Every time i go to get my hair cut and the lady pulls out the razor and scrapes the side of my neck i go crazy! For all the 30 seconds she's doing it i'm praying "Oh God! KILL ME NOW!! PLEASE DON'T LET HER SLICE MY JUGULAR VEIN! I DON'T WANT TO BLEED TO DEATH NOW!!" And so far i haven't been brutally murdered. But that's because that was a trained professional who will lose her job if she screws up. But me...I'm terrified to pick up a razor and slice open my face. I can picture it now. First i slice off my lips. Then my ears. Then i go for the jugular vein and end it all! It's really scary!! I just know that i'm not gonna have much face left if i start shaving with a razor. I want to die as a hero fighting aliens or something. Not lying on the floor bleeding! Have you ever seen dumb and dumber? You know that part when they get their hair cut? And the barber pulls out the razor? And as he's got it on Jim Carry's neck Jim Carry puts his hand up to his neck and starts freaking out as what looks like blood pours through his fingers and the barber faints and then Jim Carry shows that it's ketchup packs? Remember that? That's disgusting! And that's what's gonna happen to me! Only i'm gonna be shaving really fast or something and then i'm going to slip and chop off my whole head and it will roll out of the bathroom and...UGH!! DISGUSTING!!! I am terrified to shave with a razor. But i might just have to. Scary. Anyway, now that i was able to blog that i'm going to get back to praying that God miraculously heals my shaver and that the repair shop won't charge me for it! Cya!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Chris its not that bad..:D
ore just Wax it...:D---lolzzzzzz

Anneli