Thursday, April 26, 2007
New van, Tegija kannab kiivrit and...nail polish?!
Tegija kannab kiivrit? What's that mean? Well to the tell you the truth...No one knows. Well, at least no one knows how to translate it to english without sounding like an idiot. The best translation that me and my team of teenage translaters have been able to come up with is "a doer wears a helmet." Now of course that is one of the worst translations possible. And as far as i know there is no such word as "doer". Doer as in a person who does things. Do, doer. Get it? Good. Anyway, i just wanted to point out the very funny add campaign they are using to try to get us reckless young people to wear helmets as we race around. I, like so many other crazy bike riding people, really hate riding with my helmet. It gets all sweaty and uncomfortable. And it just bugs me. But if i want to be cool i have to wear it. So i do. And plus, my helmet is all blue and matches my bike, so it's not all that bad. But anyway. the add campaign to get us people to wear helmets is quite funny. Like the one on the left. According to that add, by wearing a helmet i become every cute Drew Barrymore look alike's dream guy. And it will also give me super strengh to use my bike as a weapon of mass destruction in hand-to-hand combat. Sound good? It doesn't stop there. Watch this add: http://www.mnt.ee/kiivriweb/media/Rattakiiver%20EST%20Final.mpg
Not only will cute blonds hang out with you if you wear a helmet, they will steal your bike, helmet and your heart. But at least she's cute! Anyway, with all that said i want all cute girls (blond or otherwise) to know that i always wear a helmet, so if you ever want to, you know, steal my heart, bike and helmet, i'm waiting for you!
That reminds me. A friend of mine just wrote a poem about me. Isn't that romantic? I thought so too...until i read it. The name of the poem was "Chris wants a girlfriend". How interesting, i thought, maybe she's saying something like "Chris wants a girlfriend, and i'm totally available" thought that wouldn't exactly be a good thing...But instead the poem was about how i want a girlfriend, but will never get one. Sad, but true. But anyway, at least girls are thinking about me. They may not be thinking of me as their dream guy, but at least they're thinking about me. Always look on the bright side of every situation...
Anyway, one very good thing has happened, we have finally sold our junky old van that kept giving us problems (like not starting when we were already late...) and got a new van! A blue Renault Trafic! It may be ugly! It may look like nothing more than a box on wheels! But it works wonderfully! And it has a CD player and air conditioner!!! YAY!! I'm quite happy with it. But believe it or not i do not like that "new car" smell. It stinks. So i'm going to be as disgusting as i can in this car to give it my own unique stench. Too bad for everybody else who has to ride in that van...
And finally, i'm sure you are all wondering what i, Chris Clark, yould have to say about nail polish. Am i going to have rant about the evils of cosmetics? No, i do that a lot already. Am i going to tell a funny story about somebody accidentally blowing themselves up with a bottle of nail polish? I wish, that sounds hilarious! No, i'm going to tell you all a shocking truth about nail polish. Something so scary, so sickening, so downright wrong that it will make you turn in pure and utter disgust. What is it that i'm going to tell you about nail polish? Are you sure your want to know? It's sickening!! Well here goes...The sickening thing about nail polish is...I'm wearing some! What? Sorry, didn't mean to shock you. Yes, i'm wearing nail polish. Why you ask? Well i wanted to get in touch with my feminine side so...NO!! It's because i simply cannot stop biting my nails. It drives me insane. I want to stop biting nails, have wanted to for God knows how long. And i just haven't been able to quit. But now i've come up with a plan. I will paint my nails and then, because i absolutely detest the smell (and taste) of nail polish i will not bite my nails. So far it's working. There have been several times when i have unconciously raised my hands to my mouth and then noticed the disgusting smell. Yuck. The things i will do to break a bad habit...But anyway, now that i have told you a whole bunch of useless things i will go now, so Cya later!