Stockmann again!

Notice any similarity between these three pictures? On the left we have Sturm, evil Alien invader from a galaxy far, far away. (From Advance wars 1 and 2, two games i LOVE!!!) Check out the hat...On the left we have Adder (Also from Advance wars 2) notice the epaulets...Red. And in the middle we have the devilishly good looking Chris Clark in his Salvation Army cap and blue epaulets. Notice how very similar my cap and Sturm's hat are. And my epaulets and Adder's. The only difference is that Sturm's hat is whitish, so he's propbably from somewhere in Africa, and Adder's epaulets are red so i guess i should call him Captain Adder. Which means he has a higher rank then me! Anyway, these are some bad guys from Advance and i just wanted to point out their startling similarities to me in uniform. Even more proof that i would be great as a member of the Black Hole army...Anyway, now to the real point. Today i was standing at stockmann again. You know what i mean right? Standing kettles is the only name i can think of for it. Standing collecting money. This time i had to stand there for 3 hours! You know why? Becuase every one else was to lazy so i had to take all the empty shifts! How annoying. Annoying, believe it or not i actually enjoy standing in one spot for three hours in my uniform and having people stare at me and jabber at me in Estonian. I seriously do. And here's why. Stories. I get stories. I see everything that goes in or out of Stackmann. And man is it interesting. You never notice how many freaks are around until you just stand and wait for them to walk past. Anyway, i'm sure you're wanting to hear some of these great stories. So i'll tell you what happened today. It all started with a van...

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Our piece of junk van that were hoping to scrap sometime soon decided not to start so i walked for about ten minutes then jumped on a tram for five, before finally making it to Stockmann. Late of course. But at least this time it wasn't my fault. Anyway, the people who were supposed to be there before me to give me my little annoying yelow sign saying "GIVE ME MONEY!" and so for a minute i stood there like an idiot with no way of telling everybody who i was and why i was worth giving money to. But then in a moment of beautiful inspiration i had an idea! I reached in my pocket and pulled out a "Mis on PäästeArmee?" ("What is the Salvation Army?") Which has a nive big shield on it which would at least show that i'm from the Salvation Army. So ipulled it out and by doing a little bit of creative ripping and shoving i was able to make it rap pretty nicely around and show who i was. So that worked for a little while, until my dad showed up with the sign. I must admit i was actually kind of sad to see my ugly fake half sign go. But whatever. That's just me. Then later my sister Elizabeth was standing with me for a little bit and this guy walked up and heard us speaking to each other in english, so he looked at my sign, looked at me and asked "The...Safe Army?" That was the first time i 've heard that translation, it doesn't even make sense! If he had said the saving army that would be more logical. But whatever. After i explained that we were the Salvation army he asked where he could find us in Tallinn so i gave him a"Mis on..." and showed him the adress. So hopefully we'll get a new friend out of that.

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But i'm sure you want some more interesting stuff than that. Later Vesse came to replace me and because i'm so wondeful rather than go home i went to stand at the front door of Stockmann. Now i hate standing at the front door. No one intersting uses the front door. And no one at the front door is very generous either. So sad...But today was very interesting, there were all these kids running around alone for some reason so as they walked past to stare at the guy in the funny uniform i threw them all a big wink. Causing quite a commotion. What is it about a wink that makes people so shocked? And i don't think it's a bad shock. because for a second they look at me in shock before they burst out in a huge grin. I love it.

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Anyway, something evil and sinister visited me at the front door. As i was standing there two mormons walked past me, both of them obvious foreigners, and both of them looking at me look "Oh crap! Competition!" Because of course one look at me makes everyone know they have no hope. I think it's the chin hair that does it...anyway. So they went and bugged one guy in their very annoying mormon way and then just stood there. "Odd," I thought, "normally you never see a mormon standing still unless his jaw is flapping, and these guys weren't moving at all! But they both kept casting freaked out glances in my direction. I was just like "Dudes, this is my turf, back off." And luckily i had the Falck security guys on my side. I always try to exchange pleasantries with the Falck guy on duty and so my buddy who was on duty just then came and stood right next to me by the front door and started staring at the mormons and talking into his little security thingy, describing them, asking if they had permision to be there and then asking if he should ask them to leave. Then he walked off for a minute and in that time the two mormons apparently had received the signal to move on because they took off. So whatever. It was fun. But as always i stood while the mormons left. I don't think i ever blogged about my Tartu mormon adventures. I should sometime. They were fun.

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Anyway, not much more interesting happened after that. But one very interesting thing happened several times. The rubber mats i was standing on had all sorts of little holes in them, for soaking up snow and mud i believe, but they served another purpose: catching women. I need one of these things. It's like a fishnet for catching ladies. Because all these girls would walk past all nice and pretty...until their heels got stcuk! It was hilarious. But i never once laughed at them...out loud. One time one poor lady was rushing for some reason and got her heel stuck and went flying! It was awesome! I was about to start cheering and hold up a score board until i realized she needed help, so i went over and helped her up, and helped her unstick her shoe. And she didn't even donate any money! That's gratitude for ya! But anyway, that was fun. Then some foreigners came up asked me (in english) the way to the closest library. Now because Estonian libraries mostly have books in...umm, ESTONIAN i don't visit the library as much as i would in America. The only two libraries i could think of was the Kalamaja one and the one by Vabaduse Väljak. So i tried to give them directions to the one by Vabaduse Väljak. I stunk. I was like "Ummm, i haven't been there in a while...I think you...like...take a number...ummm...4 tram...yeah....4...and then get off...ummm...by a...big building....uh, yeah." They thanked me and walked off in the opposite direction i had indicated. Whatever, my job wasn't to give directions anyway. But now i must go. Because this post has gone long and i'm tired. Cya!