Look out America....Here i come!!

Well, it's too late too turn back now, in 12 hours i'll be in Germany (Singing "Schrei") and then another 12 hours after that i'll be on a plane to America (Singing "American Idiot") and then i'll land in America...Poor America, they just don't know what's coming! I mean, some people do. But i'm sure they are dreading having an insane teenager come. I can't wait. I've given up feeling resentful about having to leave Estonia for two reasons, because i'll be back soon, and because i'm looking forward to getting really drunk on rootbeer (It is possible...if you're me). It'll be great. I love traveling. I just can't wait to get going! Well, i probably won't be able to blog much while i'm bouncing around the world, but if you're dying to know what i'm doing...well...sorry, i'll be busy. But i'll try to squeeze in some blog posts some time. Anyway, i must be off now, i'm going to a shove a few last things in my backpack before i leave. Cya!

HollyWood Night!!!

I promised you HollyWood Night Pictures and so here they are! Sorry that they are woefully few, but i had an 11 year old as my camera girl, so i didn't get very many good pictures, or very many at all. But enjoy what i do have, and be grateful! This is picture of some of the decorations, it was very cool.

Ragne/Butterfly dancer and Rebekka/Ines! (Hollyood night)

Here's a picture of the sisters Ragne and Rebekka (Ragne left Rebekka right). Ragne played one of the dancers in the "Butterfly" song and Rebekka was one of the announcers of the night, Ines, with her song 15 magamatu ööd, or in Enlgish, 15 sleepless nights. We made a cool video under the her song of her not be able to fall asleep. It was very funny, and the bloopers were hilarious. I'll try to put all that up on YouTube.

Anneli Aavik/Junko Takeuchi/Smile.dk!! (Hollywood night)

Here is Anneli Aavik playing Junko Takeuchi. Wait a minute...Junko Tackeuchi doesn't sing Butterfly...That's smile.dk...Okay, so maybe we switched names a little, but we did it on purpose! Junko Takeuchi is the Japanese voice actor for Naruto, and we thought the name was fitting for this song so we took it. Because smile.dk is just the worst name ever. And those girls are wierd...Anyway, Anneli looks great in her costume, i'm sure you're wondering how we got her face so white, so i'll tell you, because it's very interesting. We got a cheese grater, used it to pulverize some chalk, and the smeared in on her face! As long as you stood at least 10 feet away it looked okay. Just kidding, it was great. But we really did use chalk and a cheese grater. Who uses face paint anyway?

Eero Jämsa/Ivo Linna!! (Hollywood night)

Here is a picture of Eero playing Ivo Linna for Holly wood night. In a video i would like to put up on YouTube later he explains how he loses and gains weight so fast. His performance was quite good.

Chess and the Scotland Yard Pub!

Hey, today was a good day. I bet you're wondering if i ever have bad days. I always seem so happy. Which is the reason why i could never be a goth. I do have bad days, but today was not one of them. I started packing for America today, pulling out clothes and whatnot to pack. And then when my dad came how we went out to eat, as a reward for me and Elizabeth watching Peter for about 7 hours yesterday. And also we had to go shopping. Super Box had a sale. A very misleading sale. The add said you could get a crappy plastic chess set with a plastic sheet for a board for 15 krooni. And they did have a chess set for 15 krooni, they just didn't mention that the 15 krooni one is about the size of a napkin. The add showed it normal sized. But anyway, we bought one normal sized one (59 Krooni) and 9 small ones so that if we ever have tournament we can have 20 players. So we'll bring these chess sets to the corps and now when all us teenagers are sitting around bored we can play chessm because everyone knows that playing chess makes you smart. So i'm very excited about that, because i love chess. Anyway, we went out to eat at "The Scotland Yard Pub", a nice resturant in Kristiine Keskus that has several very good things about it. 1. The club sandwhich is great 2. There's guns all over the walls, and 3. all the waitresses have guns and handcuffs...very exciting. Anyway, i got to America on saturday, and half of me feels sick at the idea of leaving Estonia, and the other half feels sick with excitement, so overall i feel very sorry for whoever sits next to me on the plane...But i need to go now, Cya!

Siiri's wedding/Hollywood night!

Wow, two great things in 2 great days! Wow! Anyway, i'll tell you about Siiri's wedding first because i just left and so it's still fresh in my memory. Siiri is a Methodist who has been doing stuff with the Salvation Army forever. She does things like translate, work in the regional office, lead songsters...Heck, there's not much she doesn't do! Anyway, now it was our great pleasure to get to go to her wedding. She was marrying Urmas (Who we all call Sass) who is the Methodist youth pastor. It was great to see them together. There's not a whole lot to write about though, it was wedding. "I do" and all that jazz. The only two noteworthy thing were these. Keit looked beautiful in a very nice purple dress, though if she finds out i wrote that here she'll kill me. Anyway, besides that there something else very exciting about the wedding. The candles! Well, not just the candles. Where the candles were. There were candles on the floor at the end of every pew. And of course if you put candles on the floor people are bound to trip over them. And everyone did. As people were walking around greeting each other before the wedding there was the constant "Clink!" as the little glass cups that held the candles were knocked over. I was the second one to do it (after the bride's father...) and then everyone did, so i didn't feel bad. Anyway, that's pretty much all there is to tell about the wedding. Throughout the whole thing though just one thing was running through my mind. "Every dog has his day....WOOF!" My day will come.

Anyway, Hollywood night was spectacular. I didn't win anything (Best costume, performance or...whatever the other one was) but i still had fun. And i'm going to put as much of it as i can on YouTube. Especially the Avril Lavigne bit...Very funny. I got a lot of great pictures, but at the moment Evelin has my camera so i can't share them with you. Sorry. Anyway, i'm happy with Hollywood night because we didn't mess up...much. For something done by a bunch of teenagers it went off pretty well. And everyone seemed to enjoy it. I'm not sure how much more there is to say about it actually. But anyway, i'll try to put the pictures on my blog later, and the videos on YouTube. Anyway, Mr. Bean is on in about 1o minutes so i must be off! Cya! Might blog more about Holltwood night later...or might not. Whatever....

It's rainging plates! Hallelujah!

Sorry i haven't blogged in forever, for once there's been something worth blogging about, and i haven't blogged about it. Why is that? When i have nothing to bog about besides video games and picking my nose then i write blog posts, but when i have something worth blogging about then i am silent. Wierd! Anyway, i have something worth blogging about. And i'm sure the title to this post made you curious, so just to torture you i will drag it out. Not really. Really i just have something else i need to blog about first. I have been utterly shocked at the reaction to my blog post about all those "Use a condom" adds. I had expected no comments other than maybe someone saying something along the lines of "You idiot! No teenager in their right mind is going to listen to you telling them to stop having sex! But maybe we can scare them into using condoms...." but no, i got no comments like that. Instead i have gotten praise! WHAT?!?! That blog post wasn't praise worthy! It wasn't even that good! And i refuse to believe that i am the only teenager on earth who thinks this way. I refuse to believe it for two reasons, first of all because if it's true then there's no hope for the world as i wish it could be, and secondly it would confirm my fear that i am never going to find a wife...Yeah, i know, i'm 17, shut up. Anyway, i don't mean to sound rude, thank you for thinking so highly of my writing, feel free to copy it (But if you could give me credit so that any teenage girls who wanted to track me down could find me...), i'm just shocked. I didn't think that post was so good. Thank you.

Anyway, what was it i was going to blog about? Oh yes, i remember. Plates. My new arch nemesis. Yesterday i was attacked by plates. Attacked by plates? How is that possible? I'll tell you how. But first i need to give you some background, so you can understand the motives of the plates. On Sunday my dad left for Moscow to go to some big Salvation Army thing, leaving me behind as the "man of the house". Now of course being the "man of the house" doesn't give me any new privileges (Such as staying on the computer as long as i want whenever i want, I would love that...) but it does giving me a ton of new responsibilities, such as cooking(No, my mom does NOT cook), cleaning, babysitting, and putting my 3 year old brother to sleep. And all that on top of my normal chores. Fun, huh? Tottally. Anyway, for the few days i've been cooking delicous, almost burned, meals (I'll tell you about my burger experience at the end of the post, it was sickening...) and putting my little brother to sleep every night (You try staying until 1 in the morning telling a story about a crocodile with a wocket in it's pocket!) until yesterday my friend Anneli was coming over for supper. I was making cheeseburgers (Always a treat) and me and Elizabeth were working over time to make the house look super nice for Anneli, Elizabeth was just about to wash ALL the dishes (I said over time i didn't i?) but before she did i was going to put away the dishes her and my mom had already washed. So as my two siblings sat at the table eating crackers i opened up the cabinet where we put the dishes to dry...grabed 2 plates and...slip! The rack that all the plates were on somehow broke and dump about fifteen plates right onto my face. Have you ever noticed how when things like that happen it always seem to be in slo-mo? Well it was this time, i saw the dishes coming and slowly turned my head to protect my pretty face (I didn't really need to, only one plate bounced off my chin) and spead out my arms to try to catch as many plates as i could. I caught about five, plus the two i already had, but the sound of smashing glass was overwhelming. It was still slo-mo and i swear it sounded like it took five minutes for all those crashes to stop. I turned to Elizabeth and said "Could you take Peter into the living room, please?" and she complied with mute obedience. It's funny how when something is wrong I'm obeyed without question. I think i should smash plates more often. Anyway, she took Peter to play in the living room and i called my mom to tell her what happened. Then i took out the broom and started sweeping up all the glass. It turned out only two things hab broken (Thank God) but it was still alot of glass. No one got hurt though, and i was still able to cook the burgers and set the table before Anneli and my mom got home! Aren't i amazing?

Anyway, i promised to tell you about my burger experience. Right after i had a pile of plates smash into my chest i had to make burgers. So i washed the frying pan and went to check on the meat. I pulled it out and to my horror noticed something...It wasn't completly defrosted! NO!!! So i stuck it into the microwave to defrost, and about five minutes later cut open the package and stuck my hand in. That was the single most disgusting thing i have ever done. The outside of the meat was a sickly lukewarm covered in liquid from the quick defrost and the inside was still almost frozen. UGH!! GROSS!! But i was running out of time so i took a big hunk of meat and shaped it into a nice big burger and threw it into the pan. Then i started on a second...The burgers were delicious, but making them was horrible. I will never make anything with half defrosted meat again. Horrible...Anyway, people have been asking when i am in America. Well i'm not quite sure myself, i'm not horribly keen on this trip (I LOVE ESTONIA!) so i don't have it memorized. I'll ask.....27th of May to the 21st of June. If you are madly in love with me (and i know you are) and want to see me E-mail now at chrisjohnclark@juno.com and we can work something out. So as you may have guessed i leave in about a week to go on a trip i'm not too happy about, so please pray for me that i survive three weeks without seeing a beautiful Estonian girl. Anyway, i'm off to prepare for hollywood night tomorrow night! Cya!

P.S. Yes, i will blog about hollywood night. Later.

Poetry Night!

Last night was quite exciting. Why was it quite exciting? Did martians attack? No, it wasn't that exciting. What was exciting was...poetry! Yeah, yeah. I know. Everybody hates poetry. Well who cares. I don't. And apparently only a few people at our corps do. So we had a poetry night! It was great, we had poems in three languages read by people ranging from 17 (me) to 80ish (not me). It was greaT. i read 3 poems, because i am SOO cool. And because i am SOO cool i will share these three poems with you. And NO, I didn't write them. Everyone asked "did you write these?" do i seem like the type who writes poetry?! "Roses are red, violets are blue, I love video games, how about you?" Anyway, enough pointless ranting, get ready for three really good poems!!

~
The Most Vital Thing In Life
By Grenville Kleiser (Or so i am told)

~
When you feel like saying something

That you know you will regret,

Or keenly feel an insult

Not quite easy to forget,

That's the time to curb resentment

And maintain a mental peace,

For when your mind is tranquil

All your ill-thoughts simply cease.

~

It is easy to be angry

When defrauded or defied,

To be peeved and disappointed

If your wishes are denied;

But to win a worthwhile battle

Over selfishness and spite,

You must learn to keep strict silence

Though you know you're are right.

~

So keep your mental balance

When confronted by a foe,

Be it enemy in ambush'

Or some danger that you know.

If you are poised and tranquil

When all around is strife,

Be assured that you have mastered

The most vital thing in life.

~

I love that poem, it's definitely my second favorite, or maybe even all time favorite, poem.

~

God's Will For You And Me

(I don't know who wrote it)

~

Just to be tender, just to be true,

Just to be glad the whole day through,

Just to be merciful, just to be mild,

Just to be trustful as a child,

Just to be gentle and kind and sweet,

Just to be helpful with willing feet,

Just to be cherry when things go wrong,

Just to drive sadness away with a song,

Whether the hours is dark or bright,

Just to be loyal to God and right,

Just to believe that God know best,

Just in his promises ever to rest -

Just to let love be our daily keys,

That is God's will for you and me.

~

That's another cool poem. It's not my favorite, but it's stil pretty cool.

~

The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

~

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
~
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
~
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
~
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~

That, THAT, is my favorite poem. Anyway, I gotta go now, i hoped you liked those three poems! Cya!

HIV/AIDS Adds in Estonia.

For quite a long time the Estonians have been putting up Anti-HIV/AIDS adds in Estonia, all quite funny. And all focused on one thing. USE A CONDOM!!! What a revolutionary idea. But i have a better one. These adds have ranged from subtle (I saw one once with with condoms as the candles on a birthday cake) to slightly more than slightly offensive (I won't explain what those two stick figure were doing...) and now they have a new one that is a mock game show saying things like "2 winners everyday!" and "Already over 6000 winners in Estonia!" and it seems so exciting until you notice something. The grand prize is...HIV!! Hmm, interesting. "Don't take part in the contest!" It says "Use a condom!" it says. But i have a better idea. I have a 110% sure fire why to not get HIV or AIDS without having to use a condom! What is this miracle you ask? It's this, DON'T HAVE SEX!!!! Of course there's the exception of your spouse. But outside that, no. And guess what. You won't get AIDS. Isn't that a great idea? Isn't it revolutionary? I quite like the idea. I'm thinking that that's what i'll do. I just wonder why the Estonians haven't tried an anti-sex add. I guess they think it would never work, but i disagree. I know it is tottally possible to have fun without having sex. I spend all my time with beautiful girls, and we never have sex. We're friends. And we have fun! I understand the allure of sex (who doesn't...) but i think it would be possible to convince some Estonian teenagers that they can cool their jets a little bit. One thing that i think is very funny is that at the same time as these new condom adds there has come along these "Mees! Tee lapsi!" adds(pictured). It means, rather literally, "Man! Make kids!" As my friends who are girls have been so eager to point out you will have to notice that it appeals to the men to make the child, not to the women who will have to carry it for 9 months as well do the real "making". I just think it's funny to see these two adds right next to each other. One saying use a condom and the other saying make kids. I can just picture it now, a young couple standing between two adds, torn with indecision. Oh what a dilemna! And i bet you're wondering why we have adds saying makes kids, well to be honest i'm wondering too. What i've heard is that because Estonia is losing population (More people are dying than being born, proof that the condom adds work) these adds have been put up in the hopes that people will get to work repopulating Estonia. I have a strange feeling that the adds may be effective. Anyway, i gotta go take out the trash now, Cya!

My personal favorite spot in all of Tallinn.

Isn't that beautiful? It would be better but i don't have the world's best camera (Yet. When i take over the world it will all be mine!! MUHAHAHA) and so this is all i can get. I believe i told you a little while ago about the big Estonian war monument i visited? Well i liked it so much i visited again. Being the city kid i am it is a huge blessing to go and sit in a grove of trees. And because it's a war monument it is almost always empty, and always silent. And it's up on a hill. And hills are rare in Estonia so that's one more special thing about it. And what i like about being up on a hill is the view. I can sit in my little grove of trees and look across the bay of Tallinn to see pretty much all of central Tallinn. I can see the top of Oleviste church in Old Town and the Methodist church by my house. I can also see the tops of Viru Keskus and Stockmann. It's a nice place to pray. I love it. Anyway, i'm not quite sure why i told you that. But i love that picture, so i hope you enjoy it. But now i must go, Cya!

Yar matey! Thar she blows!

Oh my goodness! Have i finally turned into an evil ninja space pirate? Not quite. But i did spend some time yesterday walking (not swabbing) the poop deck (horrible name for a deck if you ask me) and almost walking the plank! No, i didn't get captured by the pirates of the baltics (cousins of the pirates of the carribean), what i did was board an old ship at Kalamaja beach here in Tallinn. One of the things i love about Tallinn is it's hugeness. It always has new surprises hidden around somewhere. And this was one of them. On Kalamaja beach is the hull of an old ship that supposedly shipwrecked here. I thought it was pretty cool. I took some pictures but none of them really show how cool this old ship was. Here is one more reason why you should come visit Estonia and have me be your personal tour guide. I'll show you things that the normal tourists never see. I mean seriously, it's a shipwreck! That's so cool! And when i say i almost walked walked the plank it's because i almost stepped in a hole in the ship. And i also (when sitting down and leaning over) almost fell into that big hole you see in the picture there. All in all it was quite exciting. I'm sorry i didn't get any better pictures, i'll put the ones i did get up at the end of this post. Anyway, one thing i want to mention is that on the 26th i'm gonna hop on a plane to America, a trip i'm not happy about. Partly because it means that in America i have to go visit a dentist (dentists hate me...) and all that, but also just because it means i have to leave Estonia. And seriously, i hate to be sort of anti-patriotic but i like Estonia. So if you could pray for me it would be nice because i'm not looking forward to this trip. And by the way, if you're in America and are dying to see me now is the time to contact me saying "i love you please come and marry me in America." Anyway, i'm off now. I have to go do school stuff and all that junk. So Cya! Enjoy the rest of the pictures!

Some quotes from this morning's school work...

This morning (as always) i did schoolwork. And (as always) i found some intersting quotes. And now (for a bit of something our of the ordinary) i will share those qoutes with you, partly because they're funny, partly interesting, partly just to waste time so can blog rather than do chores...Anyway, the first quote, from "The Thinking Toolbox" (one of my favorite logic books, for more info go to: www.christianlogic.com) "There are 700,000 doctors in the United States, and they cause about 120,000 accidental deaths per year. This means there are about 0.171 accidental deaths per physician. Eighty million people own guns in the U.S., and they cause 1,503 accidental gun deaths per year. This means the number of of accidental gun deaths per gun owner is about 0.0000188. Statistacally, doctors are 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners are. Guns don't kill people; doctors do. (Out of concern for our readers, we will not give the statistics on lawyers, because the alarm might cause you to panic and seek medical attention.)" Now that, of course, is meant to be funny. And i thought it was. So laugh. NOW! Anyway, another interesting quote i found is a quote from Mark Twain (Which is not his real name, which makes him a dirty rotten liar...The snake...) "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint"-Mark Twain Man he was a funny guy. (The lying snake...) And finally, one other interesting quote i found is from Karl Marx. OH NO! NOT HIM! I'M TURNING INTO A COMMUNIST!!! AGH!!! No, I am not turning into a communist. I came accross this quote and quite liked it. "The philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways; the point, however, is to change it." There's one thing Marx and i can agree on. We need to change the world. Though the way he would change it, and the way i would change it would be much more than subtly different. Anyway, i'm done now, and dirty laundry and a house full of trahs is waiting for me...Chores...Cya!