Ah, Chris. What a guy. Who better to record the wild chronicles of his life than himself? Within these posts are stories and jokes, thoughts and wild conspiracy theories. As Chris grows and continues to view life as nothing more than an extended comedy sketch so will this blog continue recording the weirdness of the life led by one really epic guy.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
The most recent terifying news from my life!
About an hour ago the the shop that is fixing my shaver closed for they day. They stil haven't called me. I'm terified. Because do you know what this means? I'm going to have to use a razor. AGH!! RAZOR!!! SCARY!!! So as soon as i finish this post i'm gonna get my dad to show me how to use a razor. Now i believe that this may be my last post. Because i am 100% sure that i am going to slice off my head with that razor. And i'll probably chop off my arms and legs too, just for fun. I am so scared of that razor. But this beard is bugging me. I want to shave. But just not with a razor. And a know that so many GIRLS have said to me "Don't worry, we use razors all the time" but let me point something out, YOU DON'T HAVE THE JUGULAR VEIN IN YOUR LEG!!! That's really, really scary. Blood everywhere...Ugh! I don't actually have anything more to say, i just want to prolong this post so that i can avoid shaving for as long as possible. But it is inevitable. I want to be beautiful tommorow. So i have too do it. I just have one thing to motivate me. You know all those commercials where the guy shaves and then all these girls walk up to him and are all like "Oh, your skin is so smooth! Now i wanna kiss you! I love you smooth skinned guy who just shaved!" so that os my goal. Tommorow i'm hoping all these girls will walk up to me and remark on how much they want to kiss me. Well, it was nice, if not unrealistic, thought. But now i can't put it off any longer. I must go. And if i die, know that i love you all dearly. Goob bye!
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1 comment:
Veins aren't that bad. It's arteries you have to watch out for. Slice one of those and you'll be standing in a pool of blood in seconds. But hey, no worries or anything.
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