Monday, January 14, 2008

Think Da vinci’s “Mona Lisa” rocks? Check out this chick.

Isn’t it beautiful? I was searching for funny anime pictures on Google the other day (always a fun thing t do because there are some really funny, creative things out there) when I found this, another depiction or the three legendary Sannin from Naruto as teenagers. As I looked at this picture, and laughed at the funny though bubbles above each Sannin’s head, I slowly fell in love with Tsunade there, so I cut her away from her two unworthy companions, inverted the colors to make her look cooler, then reversed it and placed the original and my new creation of beauty side by side. The Mona Lisa sucks, but this Anime masterpiece I could stare at all day. I can’t quite make out the artist, but it looks like it says “Jo Choob” So Mr. Choob, if you’re reading this, your picture rocks. Your art skills are super special awesome. By the way, if any of you know a chick that looks like that and would just love to marry me I am SOOO available. Tsunade the teenager rocks!!

Anyway, as you can see I have once again fallen in love with the impossible. It seems that’s all I ever do, it always either has to be someone so famous I’ll never meet them, or so fictional that for me to claim to have a relationship with one of them would cause the Psych. Department at Houghton to be even more interested in me than they already are. Or sometimes it’s someone far to young, rarely too old, and I’ve always thought Necrophilia is nasty, despite the fact that Inuyasha loves it (That’s a joke, if you didn’t get it then…sorry) So now I need to find someone in the category of living, 16 to 20 year old female humanoids from Earth who exists within the same reality spectrum as I do and who is not so famous as to make our relationship end up on Wikipedia. Hmmm, thinks it’s possible? Neither do I. But every girl who knows me is convinced that I’m such a great guy that OTHER girls will be madly in love with me someday. Let’s see how long that assumption can keep chasing its tail. But the really sad truth is that it really doesn’t matter right now, despite the brainwashing of my “romance=life” and “18 is the perfect time to get married” culture I try to remember where my priorities lie. It just hit me the other day though, I’m 18 now, I could get married. That’s a scary thought. And though I’d be more than happy in some ways there’s still the one big major recurring problem. You can’t get married alone. So I doubt I’m going to be getting married until I’m like 25, because by that point I’ll be so rich and famous from saving the world from alien ninjas that girls will be lining up. Though by that point it will be “women”. That’s one other thing that’s taking some getting used too now that I’m 18. I was out with my 19 year old twin friends Anneli and Evelin last night and I realized something, I’ve always thought of them as girls, but last night that was, at least by age standards, me, a man, out with 2 women. I don’t know why it makes such a big difference but I feel like it does and it kind of freaks me out.

Anyway, Matt, I know you have to wait until you’re 21 to do all sorts of crazy stuff in America (which I wouldn’t be doing anyway because I’m too crazy for the crazy stuff) so now I’m going to mock all you 18 year old Americans by saying “na na, na na na” here in Estonian as an 18 year old now I can legally, buy and consume alcohol, go to sex shops and brothels and partake of their custom, buy and smoke cigarettes, go to clubs of all varieties, dancing to strip, and I can probably do some other stuff to, but I’m not sure what. As you may have already guessed though I am not doing any of that, and I’m only planning to do one of those things. Go to one of those dancing clubs with Tallinn’s ultimate club guides, Anneli and Evelin. “Don’t go to the Hollywood ‘cause it’s just sluts looking for sex and men looking for sluts. And a 15 year old got raped there because the security’s bad” “Don’t go to Parlament because that’s just where Russians and Estonians go to fight” “And even though NightWish plays there sometimes never go to the Rock Café, because it’s all just bikers in leather pants” That’s what I’ve been told so I’ll just trust them and go with the plan to go and party at Venus Club (“It’s the best club in Tallinn!”) when we all graduate officially in June. Sounds fun to me.

But now I must go, because if I want to graduate by June (if I could graduate earlier that would be nice. Maybe if I graduate early I can spend more time playing video games or some such self motivation…hmm, I might consider that) I need to get to work, Goeffrey Chaucer’s inappropriate yet sidesplitting humor awaits me. That’s what I get for reading classics…

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