A new song....My total theme song.

I've just gotta say that i love Panic! At the disco. They have some great songs. And all their song names are so long! I've already used "I write sins not tragedies" and today i just used "The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage" and in about a month i'm planning a blog post (yes, i plan my high quality blog posts months in advance) in which i will use their wonderful song "Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off" which i have only found to be true of one girl. But anyway, that's someone else's theme song. I have my own theme song. One of my best theme songs yet. Probably the best. I have decided that i really like it. And it really suits me. So now, my ultimate theme song of Chris! Relient K's "I so hate consequences"!

~

Relient K

I So Hate Consequences

~

And I'm good, good, good to go

And I'm good, good, good to go

I got to get away

Get away from all of my mistakes

~

And I'm good, good, good to go

And I'm good, good, good to go

I got to get away

Get away from all of my mistakes

~

So here I sit looking at the traffic lights

The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites

I want to run away I want to ditch my life

Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night

~

And after all of my alibis desert me

I just want to get by

I don’t want nothing to hurt me

I had no idea where my head was at

But if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that

Because I just want for all of this to end

~

And I so hate consequences

And running from you is what my best defense is

Consequences

Oh God, don’t make me face up to this

And I so hate consequences

And running from you is what my best defense is

Cause I know that I let you down

And I don’t want to deal with that

~

It just now hit me this is more than just a set back

And when you spelled it out, well, I guess I didn’t get that

And every trace of momentum is gone

And this isn’t turning out the way I want

~

And after all of my alibis desert me

I just want to get by

I don’t want nothing to hurt me

I had no idea where my head was at

But if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that

Because I just want for all of this to end

~

And I spent all last night

Tearing down

Every stoplight

And stop sign in this town

Now I think there might

Be no way to stop me now

I'll get away despite

The fact I’m so weighed down

~

All of my escapes have been exhausted

I thought I had a way but then I lost it

And my resistance was once much stronger

And I know I can't go on like this much longer

~

When I got tired of running from you

I stopped right there to catch my breath

There your words they caught my ears

You said, “I miss you son. Come home”

And my sins, they watched me leave

And in my heart I so believed

The love you felt for me was mine

The love I’d wished for all this time

And when the doors were closed

I heard no I told you so’s

I said the words I knew you knew

Oh God, Oh God I needed you

God all this time I needed you, I needed you

~

And I so hate consequences

And running from you is what my best defense is

I hate these consequences

Because I know that I let you down

Now I don't wanna deal with that

~

Man, i love that song! Oh God...oh God...I needed you. When my past is keeping me up at night, and i don't wanna deal with anything I need God. Great song. But now i must dissapear. Goodnight!

Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen!

On my blogger dashboard it just told me that i have 300 posts instead of 200, how odd. Who wrote 100 extra posts last night? Not me! Anyway, i have a deal to make. I want us to make a deal. I don't know if any of you have heard the song by Panic! At the Disco "The only difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is press coverage" But in it there's this great line "Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen" Which when paired up with with the line at the beggining "And I believe, this may call for a proper introduction. And well, don't you see? I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue." Makes it a great song for my blog. Because as you may have noticed i'm kind of like an insane narrator, rather like a mad scientist, just without any university education. And plus, this is probably just the prolugue, my story is not gonna be done for quite some time. If we say the first 20 years of my life are prologue then what are the next 20 years? Anyway, i'm not going to deep in this post, i'm not in the mood. But anyway (don't you hate how much i say anyway!!!) that's not the point. None of it is. The point is this. I would like to make a deal with all 12 of you. Yes, so far i only have 12 readers, and i still haven't even got the two that i've been waiting for, my goal is 15. And i'm not sure if those two ANONYMOUS comments count. Yes Meg, that is an anonymous comment. I will have to think up a horrible, painful, and mind bogglingly hillarious punishment. I will have to think of the reward for those who dare hide their identity in the way that i, in my supreme kindness, have allowed as an option on my blog. I'll get back to that, because i'm at the end of my first section of this post and i still haven't made my deal with you yet!

Anyway, finally, the deal. I "Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen!" That our deal. Or, to word it more simply, i promise to keep pumping out blog posts worth reading if you promise to keep reading them. Deal? I hope so. I'll hold up my end of the deal. And if you want to add some input with a few comments then go right ahead. It will make me very happy. Anyway, I've been thinking about university quite a bit lately. And i've come up with a conclusion, i hate university. Just typing the word hurts my head. Well actually, none of that is completely true. I only hate thinking about university. I don't know why but in some ways i almost have a fear of progress. Because i know all too well from past experience the deeper you go into something the more trapped you get, and the higher you climb, the farther you can fall. So i'd rather just not move. Not choose. But there's one thing about that that doesn't work. Choosing not to choose is still a choice. So now matter what i'm stuck. I'm gonna make a choice. I hate it. Why can't life be like a video game? Clear objectives. Everything already planned out. Almost zero chance of making a wrong move And it would be nice if i could use large weapons to fulfill my life's ambitions rather than having to use my brain, which is a pathetically small weapon. And yes, i know that the story of my life is already planned out. The only crappy part is that the author hasn't been too clear about how he wants this story to go. Oh, how it makes my head hurt!

Well whatever, i'm sick and tired of this, so i'm gonna go do something else, so until my next beautiful blog post i must give you a fond farewell. Fond Farewell!

P.S. I know i have more readers. KEEP COMMENTING!!

My 200th post! YAY!!! Welcome to Kurisu-Gi!

Well, it's been three days since i ordered all of you inferior beings to make a census. Err, i mean since i humbly begged you wonderful people to tell me whether or not you read my blog. Anyway, i'm very happy because i got 9 whole comments! And 8 of them actually had names attached! My mom, my dad (who accidentally commented as my sister), AG (I know who this is...i'm pretty sure), Then John, A.K.A. Mitchenstein (That is such a cool nickname!!), Then Mrs. Wittenberg, and don't worry, i could have had no one comment and i still would have blogged. I just would've written and angry post about how know one loves me. So anyway, next came Meg, my friend who i've never met from somewhere in America, and yes Meg, you could kill me with a shotgun to the head (POW! Right in the kisser!) but you'd have to catch me first! Followed of course by my Aunt MaryKay, and i know i need more pictures but no one wants to look at my ugly face so i leave them off. Then i had "DIS BLOG ROKS! Found it doing search and stayed for months." Who is an anonymous someone, you're supposed to leave a name but...well, "DIS BLOG ROKS!" is as good name as any. Thanks for reading my friend "DIS BLOG ROKS!" And then finally my cool BSS. That's nine readers. I feel like the count from sesame street. "ONE! ONE READER! HAHA! TWO! TWO READERS! HAHA!!" and so on.

Anyway, i'm quite glad to have so many readers. I know there's more. I'm waiting for at least two more comments. Because i know there's at least two people in southern Estonia who check out my blog on occasion. Though i may have offended one and she has now run off with her tail between her legs, so sad, like i care. Anyway, because this is my 200th post, and because i have some reader(s) i didn't know existed i'm going to give a little intro to my blog. Because some of you may be wondering "Who is this dark man of mystery who is so goodly looking and yet so single?" My name is Christopher John Clark, but you can call me Chris, or Kurisu, lord of dorkness, your choice really. I live in Estonia because i'm an agent of a kingdom not of this world. In other words, i'm a Christian missionary working here with the Salvation Army. And my blog is The Chronicles of Chris because it chronicles the life of...well, ME! And i just recently figured out what my blog's name would be in Japanese (I think). In Japan they have some document called "Nihon-Gi", which means "The Chronicles of Japan" and "Nihon" means "Land of the rising sun" (Japan) so i assume the "Gi" ending makes it the chronicles of. So take my name, Chris, translate it into Japanese, Kurisu, stick on Gi and what do you get? Kurisu-Gi! Isn't that cool?

Anyway, i'm very happy that people who have stumbled onto my blog randomly have found it enjoyable and worth sticking too. I don't read any one elses blog, i'm too lazy. But i thank those of you who read mine. But remember, the census isn't over yet, so if you haven't commented yet, then go do it, now, GO!!! Anyway, i have a special present for you blog readers. As i write this post i am also uploading a video to YouTube. A video that not only let's you see me get beat up, but where you also get to ogle one of the georgous Estonians i spend all my time with. As soon as it's done uploading I'll put on the link. But for now i have to wait. It takes forever to put things on YouTube. So while i'm waiting i'll sing a song...LALALALALALALALAA!!! I hate waiting. But i think i will refrain from typing while i wait or this post will quikcly double in length. 30 minutes later...Thanks for waiting, the video is now ready. Get ready for some fun! It sucks at first, but hang in there. It gets better. And by the way, i did all my own stunts. Hope you enjoy it. Click here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=570u0pOKCbA Cya!

In response to anonymous comments new and old...(Post #199!!) 200th post census!

STOP COMMENTING ANONYMOUSLY!!! It drives me insane! Who are you people!?!? In the future, if you want to comment anonymously please add a little something at the end so i know who you are. Because i hate not knowing, and i love knowing. So please always let me know who you are, somehow. But now i will actually respond to comments i have gotten recently. Someone commented anonymously that i could get a job here at the embassy or something, then another anonymous person commented that yes, i could get a job at the embassy as a "secret agent/spy/007" but of course everybody knows that's impossible. Do you know why it's impossible? Because i already am a secret agent/spy/007! As all my friends know i'm a secret agent working for a mystrious organization (i owe allegiance to no earthly ruler) and my cover is as an eccentric teenager who claims to be a secret agent! Everyone knows that! Geeze, i can't get a job i already have! I make myself smile sometimes when i'm writing on this blog, i'm just so darn funny!! And then my friend Matt gave m this cool advice for my future "Study a lot and start building a resume so that you can get into a good college and party... um, I mean study for 4 years and get a good job. And then once I'm an amazingly sucessful game designer, you can come work for me. :P" And that is tottally what i'm gonna do! Well, not really, i'll skip everything but the last part. I'll come and work for you as a game tester. Games always need to be tested, right? And i'll spend the years from now 'til then practicing by playing video game 24/7. Doesn't that sound good? No one else thinks so either...

But i need to know, who are you anonymous commenters? I got two comments on my Valentine's sucks post that were anonymous and interesting. First was "you are so amazing. all sadness about this day wil leave soon. u wil see" Who are you? I mean who is out there that think's I am amazing? Are you female? Between 15 and 19? Madly in love with me? Yes? But you're not human? You're the amazing typing dog? Okay then...That's just odd. But anyway, who are you anonymous people who think i'm amazing? Please let me know. I'd like to know who thinks i'm amazing. I'm quite curious. Own up. Please? Anyway, the other comment i got was this. "Chris, girls are cows. Some of them are even sheeps. So dont worry about M. She is just one more who is going to ruin her life if she is not with you MAN. Give me her phone mumber ;-)" Now who is this? First of all, who has the guts to call girls cows? I get smashed in the face whenever i do it even as as joke! So anyway, who are you who has the guts to say such a thing? And some are sheep? I don't get it. But here's the part i want to know. Who are you that knows about the dragon? Or "M." as you so aptly name her. I steal "dragon" as my friend Andrei's old nickname for her. You are someone close to me if you know about the dragon, "the angel from my nightmares, the shadow in the background of the morgue"(Blink 182 "I miss you"). Who are you? E-mail or something just so i know who you people are! And this whole "just one more who is going to ruin her life if she is not with you MAN" I agree she's ruining her life, but who is this who knows me so well and yet comments anonymously from the shadows? Who are you? And who wants her phone number? I won't give it to you. I'm that cruel. Who are you?

Anyway, as this last anonymous commenter so inteligently noted the reason why Valentine's is a painful, angry day for me is M, the dragon. I never understood my friend's reason for giving her this nickname, but now i know, because now i've felt the burn of dragon flame, the all consuming flame. And i carry a deep wounds from it, and a wound of the heart takes no medicine, and rarely heals. And even when it does, it doesn't heal quickly. I was in horrible agony over the pain of the day for several days afterward, because i still need some kind of closure, some conclusive...something. But all i have for now is band aids. So i was praying for a band aid, which usually come's in the form of a song, this time was no different. In need of some theme song to cover my pain i stumbled accross Sum 41's "Pieces", a beautiful song that worked just wonderfully. The dragon has caused me to post many songs on this blog. And this is definitely the most conclusive one, the final word. "I'm better off on my own." So now i will post this song, and at random intervals i will put in a comment of my own in italics.

~

Sum 41

Pieces

~

I tried to be perfect,

But nothing was worth it,

I tried to be perfect, but none of it was worth it to you.

I don’t believe it makes me real.

I thought it’d be easy,

But no one believes me,

I meant all the things I said.

I meant everything i said, you never believed me, and you never meant a word from your acid tipped tongue.

~

If you believe it’s in my soul,

I’d say all the words that I know,

Just to see if it would show,

That I'm trying to let you know,

That I’m better off on my own.

You need to know, the i'm better off on my own.

~

This place is so empty,

My thoughts are so tempting,

Crazy thoughts swirl through my head, to listen to insanity is so very tempting.

I don’t know how it got so bad.

Sometimes it’s so crazy,

that nothing can save me,

But it’s the only thing that I have.

~

If you believe it's in my soul,

I’d say all the words that I know,

Just to see if it would show,

That I'm trying to let you know,

That I'm better off on my own.

It's better for me on my own.

~

(On my own!)

~

I tried to be perfect,

It just wasn't worth it,

Nothing could ever be so wrong.

Almost nothing could be more wrong than this...

It’s hard to believe me,

It never gets easy,

I guess I knew that all along.

I always knew it, but i defy your reality and substitute it with my own.

~

If you believe it’s in my soul,

I’d say all the words that I know,

Just to see if it would show,

That I'm trying to let you know,

That I’m better off on my own.

I didn't want to be on my own, you made that decision for me, i pray you don't regret it, because i'm better off on my own.

~

Now that i've blogged my post Valentine's day song i feel quite happy, and i have something i need to point out, this is my 199th post, which means my next post will be my 200th, which means i want to know who is reading this blog. I have decided to have a census, If you read my blog then please leave a comment just saying "I'm so and so from so and so" just so i know who, and how many people, read my blog. You know this is free, i don't get paid to write for you, so you can pay me in this little way. It takes two seconds. You don't even have to leave much info, you can just say initials or something, i just want to know how many people read my blog. And then i'm going to rate myself. If at least 10 people read then that's pretty good, that means that the people i see everyday glance at my blog. If 20 people read then that means that i must not be as bad a writer as i think. If 30 people read then i'm a very popular person, and i never knew it. If 40 people read then i have friends/family members i didn't know existed. And if 50 or more people read...well, then i'm just honoured. But i want everyone to comment. This is a census! I even want my haters and enemies to comment. Just so i know you still read. Please take part in the Chronicles of Chris Census. Please!!! I BEG YOU!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!! I've tried to do this before but no one has ever cooperated, please don't be such pains in the butt now, just comment!! And not anonymously without leaving some identification...

Anyway, now i believe i'm done. This post took forever to write becasuse it's long and also because i was on MSN at the same time, talking to my friend-i've-never-met Megan about how i could kill her in Halo, and my friend Robyn, from Canada, just about how life's going. And Robyn wanted me to mention her in my blog, so i think i will, just to make her smile when she wakes up. Robyn just told me the greatest saying. "Boys like blonds, men like brunettes" So i guess that makes me a very manly man. I've never understood why other guys are so obssesed with blonds. It's just never clicked with me. I like brunettes. And i love black hair. But anyway, Please comment in a anti-anonymous fashion for my census. Thank you. I will talk you all later. Tsau!

I survived Valentine's day!

Valentine's day was evil, it always is, but i survived it. I did walk around listening to evil, scary, angry music. But i didn't see any couples suddenly discover they hated each other. But i still think that would have been awesome. I'd be like the anti-cupid! Instead i searched for new headphones, it took me like 2 hours, but with the help of my friend Elis (so i did spend Valentine's day with a girl...) i did track down a pair i liked, and for half the price i thought i'd have to pay. So i am quite happyt about that. I also feel quite proud of myself because as i was waiting in Viru Keskus to meet up with Elis there was this annoying couple who had decided it was their Valentine's day mission to tell the world that they were "In love". So they were jumping all over, making out, hugging, generally being annoying. And i feel quite proud because i did not kill them, though i was quite tempted. But anyway, i survived Valentine's day, and because of that survival i got to make it to friday, when we had a party at youth group! I love parties! And this one was interesting because since this was Valentine's day week the theme was "Revolutionary Love" because of this whole thing that every one is into that if you spell revolution backwards then you see love in there. I actually think it's quite interesting because if you spell all of revolution backwards you get noitu lover, and i have no idea what that means but it sure sounds exciting.

So i really enjoyed this part because we had all sorts of new people. Or people who don't normally come. We had five people who don't normally come, it was quite exciting. Especially because three of them were girls, and everyone knows i love a new audience! One of these three girls was Kristiina, who i had met at camp and had instantly singled out as one of the cutest teenge girls i have ver seen. Now normally when i see someone horribly gourgous i instantly attack them with flirting, but i flirt best in english, my native language, and there was one thing about Kristiina that made flirting impossible, she only speaks Russian, and the only words i know in Russian get me slapped by Christian girls. But on friday i had two willing guys who were more than happy to trach me all i needed to know in Russian to flirt to me heart's content. And Anneli taught me some stuff too. Now, as always when i have a language learning session i got taught like 20 words, but i only remember one. So all i actually learned was "Karrova", which means cow, and i can't really flirt with that! "Priviet krisevia karrova!" "Hello beautiful cow!" It doesn't work. But i was quite happy with the result of all the flirting. The end result was me getting hit in the eye with a mandarin, which i then threw back at Anneli (i had just accidentally called her a cow, the guy had told me the word without telling me the definition. Oops!) which bounced off of her forehead and into Kristiina's cup. I am so smooth. Chicks dig guys who throw fruit. They all laughed, and you know what they say, the end's justify the means!

Anyway, that was just part of a really fun night. But i can't really think of anything else worth blogging about, so until next time, Tsau!

Valentine's day sucks!

Valentine's day sucks! Let's see how many times we can say that before this post is done. I haven't even gone outside yet but i'm already dreading the evil mass of couples who will be walking around, "madly in love", making out all over the place and genereally making nuisances of themselves. And i'm going to be walking around alone except for my one faithful companion, my MP3 player. And that sucks because my left ear phone is broken. I'll probably listen to something angry, evil, and scary. And all the couples i pass will suddenly realize they hate each other, and break up in a very sudden, painful way, with little bits of heart flying everywhere. I can just imagine how much fun that would be! It would stop all that disgusting exchanging of fluids (so un-hygenic) that all those stupid couples enjoy so much. The jerks. If they have to be in love, can't they do it where i don't have to see it? Valentine's day sucks.

Now, as you may have grasped by now, i think Valentine's day sucks. But, and this is the important part, i love SõbraPäev. In Estonian today is called friend's day. Which i like much better for several reasons. You are not going to get a cold from making out with your friend, because you won't make out. You're friends. And the best thing about friend's day rather than Valentine's is that Valentine's day you focus on the "special someone". Well i have lots of friends, so i will will be able to enjoy a day with lots of special someones, so, rather than spending the day trying to suck someone's tonsels out, i will spend the day hanging out with my best friends, where most guys hang out with one girl today i'll hang out with 3!! So Valentine's day sucks, and i'm boycotting it, i'm going to celelbrate friend's day instead, and spend the day hanging out with my friends, not some stupid, annoying girlfriend. Thank God that that is not my problem. Got 99 problems but (you know what) ain't one. So anyway, happy friend's day friends. If you have the misfortune to be cursed with a "special someone" know that my pity goes out to you. Now i must go party, so Cya!

That's shocking!

What's shocking you ask? Static electricity! What else? I don't know why but it's a known fact that during winter static electricity is even worse than normal, and i am now coming to realize that the static electricity apparently wants me dead. Quite sad really, because i never did anything to the static electricity. I'd actually much rather be friends, but whatever, that choice has been made, and a war has started between me and static elctricity, and all electricity in general. But as far as i can tell i'm the only one who has gotten hurt by this war. And because i'm sure you all have nothing better to do than sit around and pity me i am going to tell you my sad tale, which is really quite shocking! (Pun warning! If you hate me, my puns, my jokes, the funny things i say, or just hate laughing in general, please exit this page and never read my blog again.) Anyway, a little while ago this war started with a covert attack on me by my fleeces, headphones, and MP3 player. I had just come in from carrying boxes outside and so i was all hot and sweaty. So of course i took of my fleeces, which rubbed against my other fleeces(I have a habit of wearing four fleeces), making static electricity. At the same time my head phone wire touched the zipper of my fleece, causeing all that static elctricity to go into the wire. Suddenly my music stopped and my ears ears exploded! Not really, but the MP3 player did shut off, despite having a brand new battery in it, and my headphones did shock my ears, which was quite painful, or should i say...SHOCKING! Then later that same day, i was hooking the DVD player at the corps up to the sound system when my Salvation Army dogtag, which i always wear around my neck, touched the wire i was plugging into the DVD player from the sound system. OWCH! SHOCKING!! My dogtag was electrifying me all around my neck! That was also quite painful, and cuased me to jump back, but only after i had plugged in the DVD player. Now that wasn't static electricity, but it was still shocking! And in this past week since that day, i've been shocked multiple times by TVs, my X-box, my fleeces, and my MP3 player! I'm under attack! It's quite...you know what i'm gonna say...SHOCKING!! I just can't wait for spring, less static, more warmth. I need it. I'm not depressed like i was last year, but i still need winter to end. I've had enough. But until next time, Tsau!

CRAP!!!

That's what i said yesterday as i stared in absolute mind boggling horror at...well, let me start at the beggining, i wouldn't want to give away the end. Yesterday, because my little brother Peter had been up late the night before we decided to let him sleep in and i'd bring him in to church later. Which was nice for me because it meant i got to chill for a little while and not have to worry about rushing to church. The only catch was that i'd have to dress him and change his diaper, but hey, the diaper was only supposed to be wet, so that's no problem, i could deal with that. So after a little while Peter woke up and we played with his toy barbeque (He likes REAL barbeque chips, he grills them!) for a while and then i told him i need to get him dressed, and he was fine with that, so i laid him down and took off his PJ's and then was about to just quickly grab off his wet diaper and put on a clean one when i noticed it smelled stronger than a normal wet diaper. So i slowly and cautiously opened the diaper, and then i looked inside and found myself staring in absolute mind boggling horror at...CRAP! And that's what i said. So my Peter asked me "Bubby, what's crap?" And i said "Poopy, oh God no, it's poopy!!" So i called my parent's and asked the, what to do, because i have always said i will do anything for my brother...except change his dirty diapers! But now i had no choice. I got the wipes, i had a clean diaper standing by, and i cleaned. AGH!!! I CHANGED A DIAPER!!! It was a terrifying experience. And one i wasn't expecting to hace to live through for years to come. But now when my brother gets a girlfriend some day i can embarrass him and say "Oh, you're such a lucky girl! I remember when i used to change Peter's diaper, he has such a cute little bum! Awwww!" So now i have a new thing to add to my resume, i can change diapers. That's just freaky. My big fear is that now that i've changed a diaper my parent's will make me keep doing it. THE HORROR! But anyway, i need to go now. Later i'm gonna put a video up on YouTube that will make everyone laugh, so be ready!! But until then, Cya!

The way of the ninja...or police and christian youth stuff, same thing really.

In the past two days i have had two interesting things to blog about, one yesterday and now one today. They are both about my way of the ninja, because i have decided that now i actually will become a ninja. It's much less painful than becoming a cyborg, because to become a cyborg i would need extensive surgery. So anyway, i bet you're wondering why i have such a funny picture up. Well i bet you also think i'm just about to tell you. Well i'm not, so be patient, read the whole post, and all will become clear...NINJA! Anyway, yesterday, friday, rather than having youth group at the corps like we normally do we decided to all go to some thing at some other church. I believe it was Lutheran, but i'm not sure. Anyway, when i say all of us went i mean four of us. Half the people who normally come to youth group weren't coming anyway, so instead it was just Eero, Vesse, Anneli, and me. The four of us formed a mighty squad of crazy salvationists. It was quite fun walking through old town joking around about the need for and elavator. But then we finally did make it to this place, after Eero (who we were following) led us a very round about way. It was quite freaky, the second we walked in they smacked red paper wrist bands on us. Right away Anneli started complaining about them being Soviets tagging us and all that evil junk. Anneli is so paranoid at times. Anyway, so us three guys and paranoid Anneli headed down the stairs to the coat room. this was the strangest set up for a coat room i had ever seen. I think they assumed that since this was a Christian even they didn't have to give us little tags to get our coats back and could just trust us to be honest and not steal coats. So we handed over our coats and then walked up stairs. Then Anneli complained some more about the fact that there were no chairs. I agreed with her, if they want me to stay for two hours they should at least be courteous enough to give me a chair. I right away started feeling nervous as i stood there in the crowd. I hate it when i'm in big crowds of people where everyone knows everyone...except me! So everyone is walking up to people and hugging friends, and chatting, and having fun, and me an Anneli just stood to one side, her complaining that she felt sick. Girls always say they feel sick. Part of the reason why neither one of us wanted to be there is we both hate cool people. No wait, let me correct that. We dislike, not hate, popular, not cool, people. I mean we are cool. I think so anyway. But just standing in that crowd of people where everybody knew everybody, and everyone was so cool, and i was just a no name loser...it bugged me. I did actually see two girls i knew. I always know girls. I always love it when i'm introduced to and older guy and he's like "Hi, my name is Mr...." and i say "Oh yeah, i've met your daughter." I always know girls.

So anyway, i'm moving away from my point. So then 15 minutes after this thing was supposed to start this guy came up and prayed and i thought "Good, prayer, good way to start anything" and it was a nice begining, until the band started playing. It was actually, it started with the room going dark and some words flashing across a screen while a lone violinist (I love the sound of violins!) played. And the words said something like "There will come a time to praise God...and that time is now!!" so that was cool, until the band started playing. I probably would have liked it better if it was quieter. I'm a fan of loud music, but this...OUCH! My ears felt like they'd start bleeding any second. The music was actually pretty good, except the singers, but you know the whole hurting ears thing kind of makes me not like something. But i'm a strong ninja, so i stood tall against the painful waves of sound and survived. Pretty soon after Anneli started complaining about the sound too, but she's an even stronger ninja than me so she stood strong against the onsluaght. But i did mention to her that if she wanted to turn tail and run i'd be right behind her. After forty minutes of having our brains smashed around the inside of our skulls by sound waves. She leaned over and said she was going to leave because she felt sick and had a deadly headache. I was quite happy to have the excuse of being a gentleman and having to leave to escort her to the bus stop.

But then we had to go down stairs to get our coats. NO!! THE HORROR!! I knew a lot of people had come after us but i didn't know there was that many! They had coats piled all over the room, the hooks being taken up by about 5 coats each. Because i despise normal winter coats i always wear fleeces, and because no one else is as crazy as me nobody else wore fleeces, so it was easy to track down my stuff. But Anneli wore a red coat, and apperantly red coats are in style or something because we searched and searched, and the coat room guys were helping us, and it took us like fifteen minutes to finally find hers. We found like a million other read coats, but it took forever to find hers. So then me and Anneli finally made it out alive, me immediately pulling out my pocket knife and sliceing through my wrist band, Anneli wasn't so patient, she tore hers off with her bare hands (I told you she's a stronger ninja than me). So then we enjoyed a nice walk through old town at night. We got to check out the ice sculptures, which was cool because one sculpture looked like some Yugioh cards standing up in the snow, so Anneli and I considered the fun idea of playing Yugioh in the snow with giant ice cards. We liked the idea. Then as we passed the ice skating place she told me of her hatred of skating. Then a few minutes later we did go ice skating. Not intentionally of course. We went skating on black ice near Viru Keskus, almost smacked our heads, but we have mad ninja skillz so we survived. Then she jumped on a bus and i jumped on a tram and we said adieu until tommorow, which is now today, and will soon be yesterday.

Now i will tell you the story of today. Anneli came over to babysit, which was quite fun because half the time i sat in my room and listenend to Anneli and Elizabeth discuss things from zombies to spanking. I was glad to inform them that zombies are easily taken care of with shotguns and spanking is something that makes me run and hide. All in all it was a fun time. Especially when Anneli made us hot dogs. YUM! It was nice to have a day off and watch some one besides me get attacked with a lightsaber. So then that night my parets took us all out for pizza as a reward for being so great and then the fun began. We ordered our pizza (YUM!) and then waited as it came out, but then this guy and his two buddies came in and started causing trouble. They were insulting the waitresses in Russian (Fat pig isn't a compliment in any language) banging things because of when you bang you get your pizza faster, and also messing with some girls who were sitting in a corner eating pizza. Now as soon as these jerks start messing around my ninja senses were alerted to the immediate danger. I moved my pocket knife into an easy grabbing position (i don't think i could hurt anyone with it but it sure looks scary) and leaned back to keep an eye on them. Now the two wonderfully self controlled young ladies behind the counter had of course pressed the silent alarm button and called Falck, and in just a few minutes to cool looking Falck guys all in black walked in. They were so cool! They asked the three guys to leave because they kept causing trouble, and after a little complaining and jerkiness two of them left, but the third felt cocky, he'd been the one who was banging things. The two Falck guys kept talking to him and asking him to leave and he just kept being a jerk and saying stuff like "I'm not moving, what you gonna do about?" so after a while they were forced to show him what they were gonna do about it. One of them went over to him and grabbed his sleeve and tried to get him up, that's when the guy freaked out and started hitting and flailing around. Now let's think about this, two Falck guys with guns and hand cuffs ask you to leave. What idiot hits them! So in about three seconds he was on the floor as one Falck guy put his knee into his back and held him down while the other put the handcuffs on him.

I've gotta say if this was an evil empire captureing a brave hero it would have been a heroic battle. But it was police trying to question a man who had been asaulting women and two security guards. When the police came and the they took the hand cuffs off him rather then calming down and trying to reduce the amount of trouble he'd get himself into he started kicking the Falck guys! Idiot! Thats called asking to get arrested. So he did. It was quite sad actually. He wasn't that drunk though so i don't know how some guys can think they're so great. But i have a thoery from my great ninja teacher, Jiraiya, the frog hermit! He's the white haired guy in the picture fighting with a twelve year old. Once he gave his twelve year old student some advice: "There are three things you must avoid, because these three things will make a ninja go bad. Gambling, alchohol, and women!" And i noticed here we had alchohol, the guy was drinking beer and though he may not have been horribly drunk he was still acting pretty stupid. Women, who were these guys messing with? The young ladies trying to enjoy their pizza and the young women trying to serve the pizza. And finally, gambling, what kind of gambling odds are those? Two armed security guards against a hot headed punk? Dumb gamble. So i have now figured out these three things really do make ninjas go bad. Only he wasn't a ninja, only i am a ninja! So i will avoid alchohol and gambling at all costs...and women to some extent. Hehe, but for now i am done blogging and must fly, my bed and dreams await me, good night!

I've finally done it....

I've been forced to switch to the scary new blogger. So far nothing has been deleted, and it looks like i have a bunch of cool new stuff to play with. I like features. Anyway, i got a ton of comments (Thank you everyone!) and i love comments. So i am very happy. I have a big smile on my face! Another thing is i've finally written some more on my school blog at: http://chrischroniclesofschool.blogspot.com/ I finally had something worth writing about because i've been reading Jerome K. Jerome's "Three Men in a Boat" so you should check that out. I don't have much to blog about so for n0ow i must bid thee adieu.

When i grow up....

I hate thinking about what i'm going to be "when i grow up". Now that i'm 17 and thinking about college i feel like i should know. And i have come to two conclusions, which may not be possible, but are the only two options that i like. I would either: A. like to become a genetically enhanced cyborg and fight for Earth in space (As pictured left). Or B. i would like to go back in time and go to Japan and learn Ninjitsu and become a Ninja and spend my life fighting evil (As pictured right). Now as you may have noticed neither of these are actually realistic options. But they both sound pretty cool, right? Anyway, because neither of my first choices are actually possible i think i might have to think about something in my own time period and on Earth. So i have narrowed it down to three options, none of which are perfect, but then again, what in life is? I have been seriously considering moving to America, maybe living with relatives, maybe working for the Salvation Army somewhere, maybe, maybe, maybe. But then i'm going to be so far away from my almost 3 year old brother and 11 year old sister, and my parents too. And plus i'd be leaving Estonia. And i LOVE Estonia! I have so many cool friends here! But there'd always be new friends in America...I don't know. I'm seriously torn about this. Because i'm actually not a huge fan of my so-called "Home land". It's never been home to me. But i could get a job there, and save up for college or whatever.

Another option i've thought of is just going to back to Vancouver for War College (www.thewarcollege.com) because i loved Battle School and i personally feel that i matured and grew up a lot there. But the only problem is that it costs 6000$ Canadian. But i think i might be able to make a tragic plea to the Salvation Army and all of you and everybody else i know and say "I'm a poor missionary's kid with no money who has given heart and soul, mind and body working myself half to death in a foreign country. Please support me as i go to Vancouver to serve God." and i think i might just make it. I mean if everybody i knew gave...100 dollars. That's a lot. Hmmm. I'll have to think about this. And once again the problem with this is that i'd be leaving Estonia and all my family. And i was able to leave for about two months last year, but then when i came back all hell broke loose (mostly my fault, but still...) but a whole year...so long. so many options, so many problems.

Then my final options is this:stay home. I'm only 17, i could stay home for a year, bone up on my weak points (Math) and enjoy life with my family. The only problem is that i know that, just like i have for the last few years, i will not do my shool work, will put off the hard stuff, and just waste time. Something needs to change. But i love Estonia and don't want to leave. In the last year i lost the reason why i thought i'd marry an Estonian and live in Estonia forever, and no new reasons have appeared so i don't see myself staying here forever, though. And my language skills have been detoriating. And i can't get a job here, i mean who wants to hire a kid who seaks almost only english. I speak some Estonian, but not enough to do any job. So i can't make and save money here. But i'm just terrified of change. I want everything to stay the same. I've read about happening to kids who have moved a lot. I've never lived in one place for more than three years, and i so i'm sick of the constant change of surroundings. But things will always have to change sometime. It's all just so scary. Anyway, i've always loed feedback here on my blog so i'd like to ask everyone to E-mail me (chrisjohnclark@juno.com) or comment and tell me what you think. I like hearing what other people think. Especially because i know almost everybody who reads my blog is smarter than me. So i'd value your input. I really don't know what to do. I'm practically paralyzed by fear. And that's not a good state to be in. So anyway, i'm gonna go take a shower now, because i reek. Cya!

Freaky dreams, fun comments, and gothic tram love!

When a post has a name like that you KNOW it's gonna be good. And trust me, this one will be no different. Which do you want to start with, dreams, comments, or tram love? I usually start with comments so i will again now. First of all, i was very happy to see two comments from my friend-i've-never-met Meg, from somewhere in America. And i have a few things to say. Did i really mess up descendents and ancesters? How stupid is that! Sorry to all my blog readers who were offended by my pure stupidity. And also, Meg, i'm sorry to say this but for some reason microsoft hates Estonia so much that we can't get X-box live here. But sometime. Maybe in the near future, i will be in
America with an X-box, will waste some money on a headset and get myself hooked up to X-box live. Then we'll see who kicks whose butt! You might be able to beat your brothers, but i have yet to find a challenger who can take me out. And that's in Canada, America or Estonia! But you never know, maybe you could best me....Let's hope not. And plus, i have on advantage, Halo makes me feel all manly. So no one can beat that! I know i'm getting sidetracked here but i've got to say how much i'm loving Halo. The music is a beautifully amazing adventure in itself. I've gotta figure out a way to get my hands on it. I did find one site where i could download "the Silent Cartographer rock anthem" (or "Rock Anthem for Saving the World") Which is cool but rather short. I NEED MORE!! It's strangely reminicent of the fight music from Naruto, and trust me, i wouldn't like Naruto half as much as i do if it wasn't for the cool music. I'll probably use the line-in MP3 encoding on my MP3 player to take it straight from the game. And another thing i love is how every time you get your orders, your final order is always "Give 'em hell!" which is fun because i think of myself as a "Hellfighter" because i fight hell and all it's minions. So let's Give 'em Hell!

Anyway, i like getting sidetracked. Where was i? Oh yes, now i am done with talking about my comments, and which do you want me to move on to now? Dreams or Goth love? I would flip a coin but i don't have one. How about dreams first. But it's hard because i have to type queitly because my mom is sick and she says "Chris, you're so loud! You don't touch type, you do like target practice!" Which is kind of true. Anyway, i had a few freaky dreams last night, some of which i'll blog about, some of which i'll not. Because they're Evanescence "Taking Ove Me" types of dreams. In a "i lie awake and try so hard not to think of you/but who can decide what they dream?/and dream i do..." kind of way. But anyway, i had quite strange dream that people were argueing about politics, because we have an election coming up in Estonia, and they asked my opinion. I'm not really political i said. Because i don't really know much about it. Then they got all angry, and for some reason there was a band near by, and so one of the people (judging from the flag painted on his cheek i think he was from the "Keskerakond" or "Central Party") grabbed me and started smashing my head against a snare drum. It was quite funny actually, because, like in most of my dreams, i was watching this from a third person view. So i saw my own funny head bouncing off the drum head. Owch! That was quite painful, but funny. Then after that i had a nice dream, where some girl, i don't know who, was just holding me and listening to me say all the sad things about my life. And just saying "I know Chris, but i love you anyway" and she was just holding me...Then my dad had to knock on my door and wake me up. Why is it that people only interupt the good dreams? Well anyway, i'll still pray i can make that a dream come true someday. Someday.....

Anyway, now on to the final thing, Gothic tram love! You know this will be good. The other day (Tuesday) i fell in love on the tram. I jumped on a number one tram here at Kruetzwaldi (Or however you spell it) and she jumped on at Hobujaama. It was love at first sight, from her black hair to her black clothes to her black eye shadow, i was hooked. I was standing in the back of the tram, leaning back feeling cool, which is my favorite place on the tram to be. The she walked right up to me...and turned around. So i had a very good view of the back of her head. She had some really cool, kind of asianish hair style, which was so cool. And i could see one of her hands, she had on one of those half glave things, like what my friend Anneli made for me and which i was wearing! Oh, i knew it! Love! We had so much in common. Then i continued my visual examination, i noticed she had as black bag, just like mine, only hers had A.F.I. written on the side in some freaky marker. A.F.I.? That sounds familiar! I have an A.F.I. song on my MP3 player! So i flipped through my one Gigabyte of music until i found A.F.I.'s song "Silver and Cold" which is such a fun little play on words that i've always loved it. So i listened to this song because i figured (quite correctly) that i'm never going to get to actually talk to her so what better way to get to know her than listen to music she likes. So as i listened to this song and tried to see the world as she did everything changed...

It was suddenly so very, very cold. And the sun was so bright! And the snow, oh so white! Ugh! Then i saw some friendly shadows. They looked nice. I could rest in their dark warmth. And oh how i hungered. My stomach was full and yet i hungered. An empty desire filling me completely. I can't name it though...It was quite sad. And everything seemed darker. And i felt so much lonelier. I looked around me. Everyone was against me. And they were pathetic. It was sickening. Then my stop came, i jumped off at Baltijaam. She didn't. Which is good because i probably would have freaked her out by stalking her a bit. And as i walked i watched her in the back of the tram going away...leaving. And i was quite happy that i had now switched to Bomfunk MC's "Freestyler" so i could stop feeling depressed and start feeling cool again. It was quite a sad, freaky looky into life through her eyes. We would have never worked out anyway, she was too freaky and depressed. I always say that i'd love to be a goth but i'm too happy. Which is true. So sad. And plus she was wearing a pink collar, i hate it when people wear collars. Collars are for dogs. So sad that i didn't meet me true goth love on the tram. I had hoped. But so sad. By the way thie picture at the beginning of the post is my gothic love. What a goergous angel. Anyway, my mom's been talking to me about college all afternoon which always puts me in a BAD mood. So now i'll just try to eat some candy or something to make myself feel better. Cya!