A quick test...

I copied this test type thing from my friend Keit's blog (http://www.sweetkate-.blogspot.com/) and i was wondering if you could do it for me real quick because i'm wicked curious and nosy! If you don't want to post it as a comment because you admit that you are madly in love with me feel free to E-mail it to me at chrisjohnclark@juno.com Though i would prefer that you comment it because then we can all laugh at each other! And yes i know there's no 17, i don't know where it went. Keit didn't have it. Anyway, send that off to me so i can check it out, Cya!

1. I died:
2. I kissed you:
3. I lived next door to you:
4. You found out I was married:
5. I stole something:
6. I was hospitalized:
7. I refused to leave my home:
8. I got into a fight while you were there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY

9. Personality:
10. Eyes:
11. Hair:
12. Family:

WOULD YOU

13. Help me hide a body?
14. Keep a secret if I told you one?
15. Hold my hand?
16. Take a bullet for me?
18. Try to solve my problems?
19. Love me?
20. Date me?

HAVE YOU EVER

21. Lied to make me feel better?
22. Wanted to kiss me?
23. Wanted to kill me?
24. Broke my heart?
25. Kept something important from me?
26. Thought I was unbearably annoying?

AND MORE

27. Who are you?
28. Are we friends?
29. When and how did we meet?
30. Describe me in three words:
31. What was your first impression?
32. Do you still think that way about me now?
33. What reminds you of me?
34. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
35. How well do you know me?
36. When's the last time you saw me?
37. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
38. Are you gonna repost this to see what I say about you?

Yesterday was a very exciting day...And so far today has been too!

Now when i saw "exciting" i don't necesarily mean that in a positve way. Getting abducted by aliens with a taste for human flesh would be exciting too. Butvyesterday was (for the most part) exciting in a positive way. Let me sum it up in a few words. Chores. Kirill. Walking. Shopping. Walking. Anneli's hair. Walking. Broke in Guitar land. Walking. Austrians? Walking. Prayer room. Fire alarm. Sleep. Sound exciting? Well, if that sounds exciting wait until i actually tell you about it. Anyway, Saturday (yesterday) morning my mom decided that (just like every Saturday) the house was a pig sty and she wanted us down on our hands and knees licking the toilet and floor clean. So in mid-lick after a bunch of cleaning my phone started ringing. So i picked up my phone and was shocked to see that it was Kirill calling. "Hey Chris, i'm in Tallinn again. Are you busy today? Lets go out and walk!" Again!?! No!! He did this a few weeks ago too. At least i was awake this time. So i told him i'd meet him in a few hours and we'd be able to go out and chill. So after a few hours of making our house sparkle like a very sparkly thing i went to the corps. Just to note, just now i spent awhile away from this post dealing with today's excitement about which i will blog about at the end of this post.

Anyway, so i went to the corps and me and Kirill gave ourselves a mission. This mission had two objectives. The mission was to shop 'til we drop, the objectives were a replacement for the chain my Salvation Army dogtag normally hangs on around my neck, the other thing i wanted was a wire to plug my MP3 player into the corps sound system so i can rock everyone out anytime with having to stick my head phones on a mic (Which sounds horrible). So we set out in search of these two items. Jaama turg...no. Though we did enjoy checking out the soviet era military stuff. Then we headed towards Viru Keskus and on the way visited Anneli at work, and she wasn't busy for once! All she had was 15 Finns with 15 beers. Easy. So we sat and talked for a while, and one thing we discussed was her cool hair. Her hair is always cool, but as you can see from this picture her hair was even cooler yesterday. And since i've been wanting to take a picture of her in her work outfit forever i was quite happy to get this picture of her with a very nice smile. How come everytime i take a picture of anyone else they look great but when people take pictures of me i look like i crawled out of a sewer? Probably because i did crawl out of a sewer. But whatever.

Back to the story. After a few minutes she got some new customers so we had to clear off so she could be all good and waitressy. So Kirill and i went to Viru Keskus and checked every shop we could find that might sell a chain and/or a wire to hook me up. But sadly no one sold anything good. Which meant that i endured all the shame for nothing. When i say i endured shame i have to point something out. Apparently the people who make jewelry assume that only girls (and very pink loving girly-girls at that) have any interest in it. So the sight of this tall, dark and handsome...okay, tall and dark guy walking into all these stores full of girls seemed to be the funniest thing on earth. When i showed the broken chain almost everybody thought i wanted to replace mny girlfriend's broken jewelry. No one suspected i was looking for myself. One horrible thing was having to walk through the "beauty" department at Kaubamaja. That place is not beautiful. Full of pictures of computer generated super women that make real women feel insecure and full of more diferent smells than i even knew existed. This is where Kirill proved his true loyalty to me. He almost gagged walking through the heavily perfumed air. I'm used to it from all the time i spend with girls who seem to have bought half the shop and are wearing it all. The effect of which is disgusting.

But eventually we left the dark dungeons of "beuaty" and moved on to do what we really wanted. We gave up on finding anything worth buying so we decided to go where we knew we'd find things worth drooling over. We went to the music store. Kirill has an electric guitar and i have an acoustic so i went and drooled over the black Encore guitar that will be mine as soon as i collect enough money. Which probably won't be for a long time. (please not that at this point in my post i got interupted again with today's excitement) Why it probably won't be for a long time you will know soon enough. And he drooled over the acoustics. It was fun. I found out they had the guitar i want for in the color i want for the best price in the store! The guy let me play with it a little so that i'd fall i love with it. The people at the store were great, talking me through all the guitar stuff. So finally when it was time to go i decided to buy a nice flexible nylon pic (my current pic is hard and doesn't make a good sound) for 5 Krooni and a little pic holder to stick on my guitar for 20 Krooni. When i went to pay with my card he said i couldn't buy something so cheap with my card, and would have to get cash (Note:25 Krooni is like 2 dollars). So i walked down to Hansapank and popped my card into the machine to check how much money i have. I was optimistic. I knew for sure i had to have at least 100 Krooni, if not double that. So when the screen popped up saying that i only had 20.90 Krooni i was schocked! I was broke! I couldn't even afford the few things i'd wanted! Which i guess makes it a blessing in disguise i never found anything or i would have tried to pay with a bad card. So that's why it will take forever to buy a guitar. I'm flat out broke!

Anyway, after figuring out how very, very broke i am we headed back to the corps for my prayer room shift and for Kirill to catch a train to Narva. But on the way we got stopped by Arnold Swarzenegger!! Well, we did get stopped by Austrians, but none of them had a scary accent that made you want to run away. They asked how to get to the center of town (they'd been walking away) and asked if i knew of any cheaps resturants or any cool clubs. I helped them with all 3. I walked them into town, i brought them to a good resturant and i showed them the club that all my friends say is great. They thanked me and it was all very nice. They didn't pay me though, which is something Kirill kept joking about. Because if i'd charged 500 Krooni each i could go buy that guitar! And a pic too! But i don't charge for helping lost people, so i left just as broke as i had been. Next i went to the prayer room and Kirill went to the train. It was very exciting. We had new candles in the prayer room. And i wanted to light a bunch because the prayer room ended today. But after a little while i had heard a strange noise...a bell ringing...non-stop...a fire alarm! Aparently the smoke detecter was right above where i had the candles. But because no fire truck pulled up and because the bell ringing was much deeper in the building than i was i just turned up my music and ignored it for the next hour. It was very exciting, though i'd still like to know why no firemen came to save me...

Then i went to sleep. And now today's excitement has been quite simple. A pipe from our neighbor's apartment broke and so whenever he washes his hands we get a shower. It's very exciting. So all the times i've been interupted i've been up translating. There's not really a lot of translation needed. Water. Leak. Fix. Simple stuff. Anyway, i gotta go now, my sister wants to do some computer stuff, Cya!

My Facebook dilemna!

As many of you will probably have noticed by now my prefered medium of communication is my blog. It's nice and neat, and i am the master here, so it's perfect for me. But now it seems that the world revolves around Facebook, MySpace and other such "Don't have friends in real life? Come get fake cyber buddies!" sites. Now i have been opposed to this type of thing for about 3 years, ever since my friends got almost irretrievably sucked into Orkut. But eventually i gave in and joined Orkut too. But i still have never really seen the point. I have friends in this country, i have a life here, why do i need to go on a site where Pakistanians are asking me if i'm Bisexual? It just doesn't work for me. But i have found that Orkut is a great birthday reminder. That's all it's good for. But do to a recent string of events (including my mom joining facebook) i decided i just had to join facbook, just to be like everyone else. To quote a great man (who i hope reads that i called him a great man for saying this) "Sometimes life is like diarrhea, you gotta go with the flow!". So i went with the flow and right away hit problems. It wouldn't let me in with me joining a school network! Only problem is i don't go to school. Not any school they'd have heard of anyway. So i had to lie (oops) and say i was in Houghton academy. It was the only place i could think of right off the top of my head. But it said that if no one from Houghton academy confirmed i really did go there me account would be frozen within X amount of days. Well boohoo. It's not my fault the idiots didn't put "Homeschooling" as an option. Though i did see some people were just in no network. How did they do that? Lie about their age? I wonder...

Anyway, i finally was in. Mr. fake Houghton academy. So i started looking for friends. I found 3 at first, all very exciting to be sure, but if i'd really wanted to contact any of them (or they me) then we'd use E-mail. Then i did a bit more surfing and then saw it...the incarnation of evil...the darkest of all the darkness entombed fiends of this earth...the devil herself! I could not bear the thought of being a member of the same site as the princess of darkness, so i deactivated my account. It was over. Then the next day my mom was on and i was hit by a sudden inspiration. I pushed my mom aside and did a quick search that came up with only one result...the only result i could want. Beauty incarnate...The shining light of feminine perfection that all others are judged by...An angel of light. So now in my mind i have all the darkest fiends of hell and the most beautiful angels of light fighting in my mind. Facebook would be a way in which i could be in contact with those who i rarely am in contact with(Especially the beautiful ones). But it would also be opening me up to burns from the pits of hell through the fiends who dwell their. Oh the choice! Well, the battle still rages, and i still think. But for now i must go. Cya.

P.S. I've noticed lately that NO ONE IS COMMENTING!!!!! I don't know why none of you have been commenting. But this blog is an interactive thing. So PLEASE comment. Thank you, Tsau.

My thoughts on Goths!

Anybody who has read my blog has probably noticed that i am obsessed with 2 things:My facial hair and goths. And because of the fact that my facial hair isn't that interesting i've decided to blog about goths instead. Now, i love goths. I don't know why this is. Maybe it's just that they are the only people who share my black obsession. But during summer i feel so bad for them. My friend Anneli was complaining today that in Estonia you never see any freaks, other than goths and emos (by freaks meaning people who dress wierd). And why she was complaining about this is that she wants top see a bunch of people looking like they just walked out of an anime convention walking around. To bad that won't happen in Estonia. But as i was saying, we do have goths in Estonia. And rather than sitting in the dark drawing pentacles it seems that all they do is walk around. Because it seems like you see goths all the time in Tallinn...until you start to notice that they're the same 10 people! There's one guy with a trench coat/cape type thing who likes to swoop around, then there's his harem of girls who almost all look like Rayne clones (Rarne from the game Bloodrayne as pictured above). I think it's quite cool to see them. I used to wish that i could be a cool goth, wearing black all the time, swooping around as if i had giant blades hidden up my sleeves that i could use to slay vampires whenever i felt like it. But this summer i've noticed something. Because it is so hot i've switched from my normal outfit of black T-shirt, dark jeans to white T-shirt and shorts. But goths don't seem to feel heat in the same way i do. Becase they're still stalking around in their black capes and corsets. They must be burning up under all that leather! I don't know how they survive it! Anyway, i don't know exactly why i wrote all that. I just saw a goth who looked just like Rayne and it inspired me. And also a girl who i will leave anonymous for fear of having my entrails pulled out through my nose has recently been nicknamed "Vampire" by one of the boys at music camp, and she has the red hair and the "Look at me wrong you die" atitude so i just wanted to put up a picture of Rayne on my blog. Anyway, i need to go now. i'm extremely tired, and am also in a rather bad mood because i have discovered i HATE FaceBook. I'll stick with Blogger, it's really all i need. But now i must be off. Cya!

My plans for reaching super-extra-cool rockstardom!!

Now i'm sure you are all dying to know how (now that i'm learning guitar) i am going to become a world famous rock sensation. I have it all very nicely planned out. Starting with lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of practice. At least thats what guitar master Sergei says i have to do, and that sounds about right to me. Step 2 in my master plan for becoming rich, famous and super cool(er than i am now) is simple, learn to play cool songs. I've already got down "Open the eyes of my heart lord", "This little light of mine" and "What a mighty God we serve" so now i've decided that i need to learn some crazy rock songs. I'm not quite up to Skillet level (though that would be my end goal) so i've decided to start, at least for today, with 2 songs that don't seem too hard but are definitely extremely cool. First song that i want to learn is Linkin Park's "Numb". Not only is it cool but it only has 5 chords in the whole song, and i already know 3 of them. So once i get that down really good i will play that in front of a video camera and stick it on YouTube for all of you to see. Then once i've mastered Linkin Park I'll move on to Papa Roach's song "Forever". Well, actually not the whole song probably. Because i just don't like the whole song. I love the chorus though. And the chorus only has 4 chords, and though i don't know any of them (except i did play an F once but it sounded kind of odd and Sergei made me do it like 10 times 'til it sounded right) i'm sure i can learn. Now the more perceptive of you may have noticed a problem with my plan. Both these songs are crazy rock songs that are played on electric guitar...but i have an acoustic. No worries! I'm sure that with my mad skillz i'll rock out on any guitar. Ahh, but electric guitars are cool. So i have a plan. I think you may have noticed that black Encore guitar up there. That is my dream guitar. Not only does it look cool, but it's about 2000 krooni cheaper than every other guitar in the store! But of course the saying "You get what you pay for" cautions me to do some research before i buiy a crao guitar. But so far all my research has said that it's not what a milionaire rockstar would buy, but it's what a cheap beginner with rockstar ambitions should buy. And seeing as how i am neither a milionaire (yet) nor a rockstar (yet) and and am both cheap and a beginner, this seems to be the guitar for me. But the truth is i don't need it yet. I'll master the acoustic and then if i feel like it (and have saved enough) i might buy the electric. But i'm still not sure yet. We'll see. But anyway, my future rockstardom is assured, so now would be a good time to start requesting autographs because once i'm rich/famous i'll charged 10 bucks each! Anyway, must go now, Cya!

Prayer room.

Well, today starts an adventure that i'm sure will end interestingly. Today we are starting our prayer room which is (at least today, we're playing this by ear, we might change later) 12/7 rather than 24/7. We would love to have 24/7, but me and my dad didn't like the idea of not sleeping at all this week. Because we would be the only people willing to take the night time shifts. So at least for today we will end at 9 pm and start tommorow at 9 am. My first shift starts in just over an hour so i just wanted to let you all know about this prayer room and ask you to all pray about it. I'm super-duper-extra-over-the-top excited about it. I got a humongous pile of all my best Christian music that i'm going to leave at the Prayer Room all week, so that's one more thing to pray about, i love my music, and if any of it goes missing or gets damaged i will be very sad. But i consider it a worthy investment. Anyway, please pray for us all and pray that this all goes well. Some people are really excited about this, but other people are acting like i just asked them to pull out their own teeth with rusty pliers. So we don't have a whole lot of volunteers. If you are in Tallinn and are interesting in praying at the prayer room please call me at 56469016 and i will be happy to set you up. Anyway, i think that's basicly it for now. Thank you for praying! Cya!

Thank you Lloyd! (The end of the Microsoft wars...)

Well, before you you see a defeated and lonely man. Broken and alone. Hopeless and without any solution. Lloyd, from the Xbox Customer Care Team, sent me an E-mail that really cared for me as a customer. I was almost moved to tears. He could feel my pain. He knew my loss. And he broke it to me gently. There's nothing i can do. Nothing i can...Nothing... Therefore i have made a decision! A decision that splits my heart to make! A decision that my mother dearly loves and i sorely hate! I must not only sell the two X-box games i wrote about earlier. I must sell them all. It all must go. I'll put up a list of games later. But in October when i go to America i will cart my X-box and all it's games with me. I will bring them to my favorite GameStop up in Maine. And i will turn them over to people who will truly care for and love them. For a good price of course. Oh, the pain is horrible. My poor X-box...Nothing i can do. But i can't wait for the fat wad of cash i'll get. That's the silver lining i guess. And i still have my large collection of PC games. It still hurts. And i'm still not sure. I still need time to think. But i think i'll most likely sell it. And as i said before, blog people come before GameStop so if anyone else wants it E-mail at chrisjohnclark@juno.com. Now i must go mourn my loss. Goodbye...

Games for sale!

Because of the fact that my X-box has been acting up (they still haven't written, if they don't within the next 10 hours i go loco) and because i can't find anywhere in America that still sells Nintendo 64 i have decided to sell some of my things. Now because i love the world so much i've decided to first try to sell them on my blog, because i know how hard it is to find N64 games and i have 4 of them. So here is a list of games and accesories that i have for sale. If at all interested write me at chrisjohnclark@juno.com and we can work it out.

2 Green Nintendo 64 Controllers

007:Golden Eye for Nintendo 64

The Legend of Zelda:Ocarina of Time for Nintendo 64

Pokemon Stadium 2 Nintendo 64

Starfox 64 for Nintendo 64 (Rumble pak not included)

And now two games for X-box

Azurik:Rise of Perathia for X-box

NightCaster:Defeat the darkness for X-box

If you're interested in any or all of these just let me know! Cya!

Chris Vs. Microsoft round 2! Ding!

Well, obviously Bill Gates has seen fit to make me his mortal enemy and has ordered his office here in Estonian NOT to contact me. I've waited and waited. But i've received no call. Now i feel offended. Now you've awakened the beast (The beast simply being a much scarier version than me)! The X-box has been getting gradually worse. It's started giving me the evil "green words on black back" screen telling me to contact customer service. Now, being smart like i am i had contacted them preemptively because of a lesser problem. But Microsoft customer service did not deem this customer worth serving. So i went to a higher authority. Forget Microsoft. It's now me vs. xbox.com! I decided i was sick of waiting. The X-box has started doing disturbing things (like spitting discs at me...no joke, it really did). I would skip right over Microsoft Estonia office and go straight to xbox.com! So i sent them a nice e-mail telling them that if they did not fix my X-box and throw in complimentary games and accessories i would pull their entrails out through their noses (this goes back to the whole "Do you believe video games make you more violent?" "No! And i'll kill anyone who says so!"). Well, i wasn't really so mean. I was actually extrordinarily polite. In fact i only threatened to kill them twice! Not really. I'm simply hoping that the X-box loving people of xbox.com will understand my love and need for X-box and will therefore gladly help. I can hope. They promised to write me back within 24 hours. So that's like 23 hours 45 minutes and counting...Let's see how round three plays out!

Am i culturally literate?

Today our Sonlight homeschooling order arrived, and it was very exciting, and i'll blog about that later, because that will take time and i don't want this to be a long post. Anyway, one book we got is called "Cultural Literacy:What every American needs to know" by E. D. Hirsch, Jr. I thought this was very interesting, because what i want to know is who are they to decide what every American needs to know! And anyway, i'm not American anymore, at least not fully. So i picked it up and looked on the back and saw a little test. It said "Test your cultural literacy. Can you put the following in context?" and i went through and i found that, yes, i could put it all in context. Making me very culturally literate. Now i will give you the same test, and let's see if you are culturally literate enough to understand all my answers....

"absolute zero":Duh, absolute zero would be absolutely between -1 and 1! Dead center! Duh!

"Alamo":Either it's what you yell when going down a water slide or it's a person who lives next door to an Eskimo. I know one of those is right.

"Billy the Kid":I know this one. Billy is this Kid who's best friend is Mandy and his babysitter is the Grim Reaper, but they call him Grim. I don't have Cartoon Network but even i know that one!

"Carpetbagger":Some body who always carries a carpet bag. One famous example who comes to mind is Mary Poppins. She had a carpet bag that held all kinds of things. But not for carpets, she pointed out to that stupid British kid.

"El Greco":This obviously a Typo, it's "El Geiko" or if you want to be funny "El Gecko". They can help you save 10% or more on car insurance!

"Faust" Well, this is what mean Germans use to shoot people. If a mean German doesn't like you they just Faust you in the face. Bot for a while there were adds here in Estonia abouts some Faust thing playing at Vanemuise in Tartu. I wonder what that was about? I thought they only had gun shows in Texas!

"Gamma rays":One of the many things SuperMan can shoot out of his eyes, if i remember correctly.

"Homestead Act":This is a strange play where they get a bunch of houses ("Homesteads") together to act in different plays. Normally these kind of plays aren't so popular becase Homesteads just can't act. They also can't move very well without the aid of a passing tornado.

"Iago":It's the parrot from Alladin. That evil jerk parrot is named Iago. I always just called him "The red-feathered evil jerk bird".

"Icarus":I'm pretty sure this is one of those crazy hard rock bands that likes to dance around with no shirts on while smashing their guitars. And they also seem to like naked pictures of winged men. Ewww!

"jazz":As in "All that jazz" i guess. Like "Hey, what's up?" "Not much, same old Jazz."

"lame duck": this one is extrordinarily obvious. It is a duck that is extrordinarily, over the top, unbelievably, sickenlingly, uncool. Or to put it all in one word. LAME!!!

"manna from heaven":Manna is an Estonian desert that most foreigners (and even many Estonians) don't seem to like. I like it quite a lot with milk, and at music camp ate mine, my friend Christian's, and my friend Ahto's! I'm assuming Manna from heaven is simply Manna that was not bought at the store but Manna that just fell out of the sky, making a big sloppy mess (though a mess that would be tasty with milk).

"nom de plume":A book written by Tony Lo Tempio and produced by Chippewa Publishing. Judging the book by it's cover i'd says it's about a blond chick in a dress holding a cat, and a confused looking dude in a tux holding a book.

"penis envy":Ummm, this was on the back of the book. I think it's fairly obvious. It's envying...Ummm...Well, you get it!

"rococo":A chocolate company based in London. They claim to have began the Real Chocolate Revolution in 1983. I wouldn't really know...

"sea legs":Well if you're a pirate and one of your legs get cut off the give you a peg leg. But if both your legs get cut off they give you sea legs. Which are basicly just 2 peg legs, except sea legs have wheel and are made to make you float at sea. The only problem with sea legs making you float at sea is that they make you float upside down...Oops!

"tabula rasa":Tabula Rasa is a massively multiplayer online game from Richard Carriott. I have yet to try this out. But it sure looks cool! Kill the aliens!! (http://www.playtr.com/index.html)

"Valhalla":Valhalla is (or so i'm told) the premier Led Zeppelin tribute band in Southern California! Wow, congrats Valhalla! I'm proud of you!

"Waterloo, Battle of":Another typo. It's "Battle of Watery Loo". This is the tragic urban legend of how a group of room mates in England all ended up killing each other in a huge battle over who had messed up the loo. Aparently someone had either left the water running or clogged the loo and therefore the whole place was flooded. Very nasty, smelly, and sad.

"Zeitgeist":Now of course i know this one. I love rock. And though The Smashing Pumpkin's new song "Tarantula" might not be my favorite new song of 2007, i do know the name of the new album it's off of. That's right, Zeitgeist is, obviously, the name of The Smashing Pumpkins new album.

So now i have proved my cultural literacy. I hope you were all as culturally literate as me, and knew all those answers without me having to tell you. I can only hope. But now i must go. Goodbye!

Party at the...Convent? (Plus the story of "Pig Simon")

Party at the Convent? "Chris has definitely lost it this time" you must be thinking. You don't party at convents...do you? I don't know about you, but i do! Well only today at least. The Pirita cloister had a big fair type thing today, and all free (unless you count the extrordinarily HUGE prices for everything you could buy). It was all very exciting. I enjoyed seeing all the people dressed in medieval dress, which is always exciting for me, because if it was up to me i would always be dressed like that evil guy who walks around in cool black leather. But i don't have cool leather. And i've always said that the people who look best in leather are cows. But anyway, forget leather for a second, this thing was very exciting. The tables were they were selling things for exploitive prices where stuck between the 600+ year old convent, and it's modern neighbor, the current convent. Now as i walked around, and looked at the prices, and saw a sign saying "Shop here! Here you can pay with a card!" i started thinking about something. Here we are stuck between 2 convent/cloister things. What would Jesus do here? Then i remember. I remembered 3 things. I know what Jesus would do here. Matthew 21:12, Mark 11:15, and John 2:14 all tell me what Jesus would do here. My personal favorite telling of one of my favorite Bible stories is in John 2:14

'14 In the temple courts he found men selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16 To those who sold doves he said, "Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!" 2:17 His disciples remembered that it is written: "Zeal for your house will consume me."'

Doesn't that just shatter that idea of Jesus just sitting around all day kissing babies and loving anybody who got too close? I love it. My God is an unpredicable God who stands up for what's right! Heck yeah! So as i stood there, realizing that to buy crap hotdogs, crap fries, and some drinks just for my mom, siblings and I would cost us 210 Krooni i thought Jesus had the right idea. And i must admit i contemplated flipping over the tables of the people selling here, but then i realized something, I don't serve God at all by getting myself arrested! So i didn't. I gritted my teeth as i payed the huge money for crap food. And i endured paying 15 Krooni for 5 Krooni ice cream. And i'm glad. Because i did enjoy myself at least a little. But i still felt a little quesy about not only the selling, but the complete exploitation of the tourists who had stumbled into this wallet burning trap. But whatver.

The story of Pig Simon

Anyway, the Thing i really enjoyed about was the story. Or to be more exact, the fairy tale. About Pig Simon. Or something like that. It was a wonderful story, that made me feel great. I loved it. And because i loved it, i will write it down here, because i did a google search and can't find any copy of this story in any language. And i just heard it today and therefore can record it while the memory is fresh. Now, i realize this is just the romantic in me, or why else would i like it? So don't go expecting heartwarming stories from my blog from now on, or else you'll be sorely dissapointed. Anyway, our story starts with a husband and wife, and if i can remember correctly their names where Herman and Silja (pronounced "Silya"). These two people loved each other very much, but apparently had been unsuccessful in having a child. And if that weren't sad enough the towns people mocked them for it. And poor silja couldn't bear the shame. So one day as she was lamenting the fact of being childless and mocked a boy ran up and said he had a gift for her. It was a small bundle, wrapped in clothes! Could it be a baby? As the boy thrust the bundle into her arms and ran of sniggering she realized it was just a pig, and cried out (i think to God) "Why, i can't have a child, i will raise this pig to be my son!" And then a booming voice (God?) replied "You shall raise this pig-child to be your son!" A little redundent perhaps, but i remember correctly, that was how it happened. So skip ahead several years. Simon, a young boy with the face of a pig says good-bye to his mother, Silja. "Don't worry mother! I'll be fine! Stop worrying!" He says before shooting off to find his friends, "I won't worry!" his mother shouts after him "I'll try not to, anyway". Simon runs up to his friend's house and starts yelling for his friend to come out "Peter! Peter! Come out and play!" just then one of his friends and her mother walks past. "Come play!" Says Simon "Come play with me!" As the girl starts to run over to Simon her mother grabs her. "What?" says the girl, "I want go play with Simon!" "Have you seen his face?" Says her mother, "He looks like a pig! You are not to play with that boy. You can only play with good, normal children!"

As the girls gets dragged off by her mother Simon raises his piggy face to his friend Peter's house again and resumes yelling "Peter! Come out! I'm waiting for you!" then Peter's mother comes to the window, "What do you want, you pig!" "I want to Peter to come out and play!" said Simon "Well, he can't! Not today! Not tommorow! Not the day after! Never!" "Why?" Asked Simon, feeling rather concerned "Is he sick?" "Sick?" cackled the woman, "Sick?! No! I just don't want him to play with you. Have you looked in a mirror? You're the one who's sick!" and then she pulls her head back in the window, dropping her necklace as she she goes. Simon runs over and picks the necklace up. "Oh no!" he cries, "Peter's mother will be very upset she lost this! Oh no, how will i give it back? She doesn't like me, she won't want to see me, what should i do..." Just then Peter's mother comes out, searching for her necklace. Simon runs up to her and hands her her necklace. "Thank you!" she cries, running up and kissing him right on his snouty nose. "It's a good thing you came out!" Said Simon, "I wasn't sure what to do, i was scared to bring it to you and..." "What!? You wanted to steal it, didn't you, pig boy!" She said, quickly moving away from him. "Not only are you a pig freak, but you're also a thief!" "No! No!" Cries Simon as she runs back inside mumbling rude things about pig thieves. Very upset Simon wander off home, leans against a wall and falls asleep. Then a fairy, or a benevolent spirit of some sort comes and feels his distress. Then she's says a spell/poem type thing over him as he sleeps, saying "When you find a woman who loves you for who you are you will be free from your pig face"

A few minutes later his mother comes out and wakes him. "I had the most wonderful dream mother!" he exclaims "Yes, yes, very nice" replies Silja "What were you doing sleeping outside?" "It was wonderful!" Said simon, "She said something, like a poem, and it was a bunch of wierd stuff, and she said i'd be free of my pig face!" "Oh, come inside" Said Silja "It's time for dinner." "But you don't get it, she said i'd be free of my pig face! She said..." and then they walk in together. Jump ahead some years. Simon is now a strapping 20 year old man-pig-thing. And the young girl who wanted to play with him as a child is now sitting and talking with her friend, saying horrible things about poor Simon. "My mother says that the wife of the butcher told the duaghter of the woodman who told the wife of the chemist who told the wife of the blacksmith who told my mother that she actually saw Simon's real father once!" "Real father?" asked Simon's would-be friend "But Herman is his father, isn't he?" "Of course not!" Replied her friend, "Does Herman look like a pig? No! But i heard this man looks just like a pig! And i heard Simon is a really horrible person, i heard he steals, and does horrible things!" "Really?" Asks the girl, "Are you sure? I mean, maybe he's not so bad! I mean maybe i heard once from my...brother that Simon is really polite and...and things..." She trails off under her friend's withering gaze.

Now back to Simon. Walking he sees the 2 beautiful young ladies, and being very much a man, despite his odd looks, he walks up to them and in a very gentlemanly fashion and asks them for to walk with him. The friend looks at Simon in disgust, and the girl quickly follows her example. "Come on," Says Simon "Let's walk! It'll be fun! Let me show you what i found over there." "No way you pig freak! We'd never go with you!" says the friend "Don't you know that it's not what's outside, and how you look, but inside, and who you are that really counts?" Said Simon, "Come on," He say to the girl "You used to want to be my friend." He reaches out and touches her hand to try to urge her to come. Her and her friend instantly jump up, very insulted. "How dare you touch us! You pig freak! Back off! Don't touch us!" They jump on him and start hitting him, chasing him around and fnally beating him to the ground. Just then the butcher walks past and sees what they're doing. "Stop it!" He yells "Stop beating that pig! I can cut that up for supper tonight! Stop...Ho, hello Simon" He says as the girls move, letting him see who it is. "Umm, girls. We need to go now. Come now. Lets go." He and the two girls hurry off, leaving Simon alone. "Wouldn't it be wonderful if people really did care about who i am inside and not only about my face. It's not my fault i look like this, but i'm a very nice person if you forget that." He then goes home.

A few days later when out walking he sees a group of people standing together and laughing. He walk over and Villu, the most popular guy in town, with a girl on his arm turns to Simon and says "Simon, Just the pig we wanted to see!" This produces snorts of laughter from the crowd. "Have you heard our new town law, Simon? It's special about pigs!" Asks Villu mockingly, "Page 21, paragraph 19 of our town charter says 'Any animal or pet, especially pigs, who wanders the street and hurts anyone, it's owner will have to pay a large fine! And if they do it again later, then they are given to the butcher!" They crowd laughs uproariously and Simon makes a simple reply, "Well then i guess it's very good i never hurt anyone." "Oh no?" Queries Villu, "I was under the impression that all animals are dangerous. And someone told me you are especially dangerous! Stand back everyone!" He yells mockingly, "Dangerous animal on the loose!" and the whole laughing crowd walks off to a party. Simon walks a little bit away and asks himself a question, "Why is it that whenever everybody else is happy, they want me to cry? I don't understand. Will i ever meet somebody who will love me for who i am?" As he stands deep in his thoughts he sees a young lady stumbling along. "Hello, who are you?" He asks. "I am a musician." She answered, "I play tambourine and i heard there was a party near by that needed music." "Yes," Said Simon "There is a party. Right over there." He points in the direction the crowd went. "I'm sorry," Says the musician, "I'm blind. Could you lead me there?" "Of course." Replies Simon, taking her hand. As he leads her a few steps he starts to think. "She is blind! She doesn't know i look like a pig!" As he thinks he lets go of her hand, and she wanders of slightly. "Where are you!" she calls, "Have you left? Where are you!"

As he runs back to grab her hand again she accidentally reaches up and touches his face. "You're so beautiful!" she exclaims. "Do you think so?" Asks Simon, "Would you dance with me?" "Oh, i would love to." Says the girl, "But i dont know how." "Don't worry," said Simon "I'll teach" Then they dance together and as they dance the fairy/spirit thing appears above them, and a minute later the Simon's face changes from a pig-like face to a hadsome face and the musician girl suddenly cries "I can see! I can see!" "Look at me!" Say Simon, "Do i look ugly? Do i look like a pig?" "No," She replies "you look beautiful!" and then the two of them go off together and get married, and live happily after. This is the story of Pig Simon as told by me, as best i could remember it. It was quite good acted out. I liked it a lot. I don't know what you thought of it. And i'm not sure i told it especially well. But i hope you liked this very long blog post!

Happy Birthday Uncle Andy!

Hey, do you remember that once upon a time i would write a blog post for every person's birthday, no matter how well i knew them? Well i sort of have given that up, or had given that up. But now i feel it's time to ressurect the tradition. Today is my Uncle Andy's birthday! Up above there is a picture of him and I 6 years ago...man am i young! Anyway, i've got to go now, i'll Cya later!

Music camp rocks!

Who are these shocking good looking rockstars? And what's with the hair? And those dollar store glasses!? Whats up? Are these up and coming rockstars posing for their new album's cover art? No, this is me (left) and Ilya (right) after Elis gave us rock star hairdos. I have to give credit to Elis for being the coolest hair stylist this side of Mars. She did a great job on my hair twice last week. After ten minutes with her Anneli said this to me. "Wow Chris, you look good with your hair spiked! You even look hot!" Then as i walked downstairs girls drooled in the hallways. Not really, but Anneli really did call me hot. Though she spelled it out ("You look H.O.T.!") as if saying that i'm hot was some kind of shocking statement, which believe it or not it was. Anyway, i had a lot of fun at camp. I learned to play Guitar and started playing Baritone too. Now i say i learned to play Guitar but only started Baritone because i felt that i progressed in leaps and jumps in Guitar but learned nothing but the C scale in Baritone.

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Let me tell you about the best day in camp and why it was the best. I believe it was Tuesday night when i turned on my MP3 player and started rocking out to Green Day's "Wake me up when September ends" and then something hit me. Could i possibly learn to play this on Guitar? So i walked up to my friend, the guitar master, the wielder of the coolest guitar in our corps, Eero. And i asked him if he knew how to play this song, he replied he did, and would be happy to teach me on wednesday (because it was almost bedtime) so i walked back to bed, turned on my MP3 player and startted rocking out again, listening with a new meaning to Green Day. Next morning the sun shone down brightly on what would become, for me anyway, the best day of camp. The day went by normally until 7 pm, guitar class. Me and Eero went up to the room to await our Guitar Guru, Sergei, who would be working with both of us, despite me being a begginer and Eero being a rockstar. While we waited eero showed me how to play the begining of "Wake me up" and when Sergei walked in on us playing he made a decision. We should practice that song until our fingers bled and then play it for the talent night on thursday (the next day) so we rocked, and we rolled, and i still couldn't master more than the first two chords. So we all went our seperate ways for until bed a few hours later.

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After brushing my teeth and flirting with every single girl i walked past in the crowded hallway full of girls i walked into the boys room to find Tanel and Eero starting a debate about dating. Now as of a little less than a year ago this subject of debate has taken on a new importance to me, so i braced myself and charged into the fray, wonderfully standing my ground (and possibly even gaining some) in this excellent exchange of views. It was a good debate, no name calling, no anger, just an exchanging and explaining of views, just what a debate should. I went to bed, listening to Green day again, feeling quite satisfied about the day. I had played Green Day. I had had a good debate with friends. I was content. It was the best day of camp. Closely followed by talent night the next night. Or maybe they were equal, i'm not sure. Anyway, because i still hadn't mastered Green Day, Sergei, Eero, and i decided to do a Guitar Trio of "Open the eyes of my heart" instead because i did know that song. Then a miracle happened. The guitar i was going to use to play the song was out of tune. Badly out of tune, and nobody knew why. So, because we were sitting there without time to retune it Sergei made another quick decision. "Just take my Guitar" he said, handing me his beautiful Stratocaster Electric Guitar. I had only played electric a few times, and never plugged in. And i had no idea how i would sound. We started the song, it rocked, we rocked, i rocked. I got almost every note right. I don't think i'll ever forget the thrill of that night. The clapping, the cheering, Anneli and Evelin screaming for an encoreI think that that was the first time in my life that i have stood up in front of other people to do anything and done it so well. It was amazing. The adrenaline going through me all night...i thought i could fly. I wish i could bottle that victorious feeling of success over fear and failure. It would sell better than the hottest hot cake.

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Anyway. that night i got a new ambition. I used to be saving money for X-box stuff. I wanted to go and outfit myself with enough X-box stuff to keep my gaming 'til the day i die, and after if i can pull it off. But now i have a new true love. I love X-box. I truly did. But i love Guitar now. And i already have an acoustic. And i think i'll do most of my learning on an acoustic. But as one website i was looking at says "Playing electric guitar is the most fun you can have with your clothes on" and therefore my truest love is electric guitar. They rock. And i saw one for only 1900 Krooni, which is a much lower price that i was scared i'd have to pay. But i need to do some research, because if something seems to good to be true (or a price too low) than it probably is. So now the truth is out. I'll be a rockstar someday. I like to think i'll be part the next Skillet or something. Speaking of Skillet, at camp i found out my Guitar tecaher, Sergei, is a fellow Skillet fan, so i came home and and loaded my MP3 player with my "Alien Youth" and "Collide" Albums. And i've been rocking out ever since. And i'm glad i've started listening to Skillet again. Because i'd stopped listening to Christian music much because it just seemed too quiet and peaceful and all that. But as i've been listening to Skillet i've realized something. KoRn, Limp Bizkit, NightWish, and even Linkin Park seem tame (if not lame) next to Skillet. I love Skillet!

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Anyway, one last anecdote from camp before i let my sister on to make an email account. On friday night it was hot, and when i say hot i mean HOTT!!!. So all us guys had our shirts off. And also we were trying on shirts for the concert the next day. So as we walked around shirtless we came up with an idea. We should all walk into the girls room, flexing our muscles and saying things like "Hey ladies, Need any jars opened or anything? Me big muscle man! GRRR!!!" But we gave that idea up and instead just walked around our own room pretending it was the girls room and laughing at each other. It was quite fun. Anyway, i need to go now. But just remember, if need any jars opened, let me and my muscle men know...

So many good things to blog about where do i start??

Hmm, should i start with how much fun i had at the beach? Or with playing Green Day? Or my Acoustic Guitar buddy? Or my day spent with my friends Kirill and Ilya? I dunno what to do! Well i have the picture of Kirill at Kalamaja beach on the ship wreck, so as a change of pace i'll start at the end (today) and go backwards (through last week). Today, after being exhuasted by camp, i was lying in bed, drooling slightly, and dreaming something about monkeys, or something like that when my phone started to ring. Now at the the time i thought that Scooter's "Shake that" would make a great ring tone, but now i know it's really annoying. If you don't know the song then you probably know this bit which may or may not be from this particular song. But it sounds like it. "Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your booty." or however it goes. Anyway, i shook my booty in annoyed way and groggily picked up my phone. It was Kirill. Kirill? Calling me? But i'm tired! So i answered my phone saying something like "marshmellow" because i couldn't quite manage "Hello" and had Kirill ask me cheerfully if i wanted to hang out with him, because as a change of pace he was in Tallinn rather than Narva and was bored out of his skull. Now i don't know about you, but when someone wakes me up, and then talks cheerfully it drives me insane. Anybody who wakes me up should be shaking, falling on the floor and begging for forgiveness. Now my mom never seems to understand this, because she loves waking me up cheerfully, which definitely wakes me up on the wrong side of the bed.

Anyway, Kirill sounded cheerful, but i had nothing better planned so i just imagined he was groveling and i forgave him. So then i said i'd meet him at 9.oo. So after jumping into some mildly clean clothes and smashing through my chores i ran out the door and was glad to see the trams were working again, so i jumped on one and got to the corps at 9.01. So i asked what Kirill and his brother Ilya wanted to do, and being teenage guys none of us had any ideas. So i gave them the whirlwind tour of Tallinn, throwing in a few special treats where no tourist ever goes and where even most Estonians couldn't manage. We checked out old town, Viru Keskus, Tammsaare Park, Kalamaja beach (with the shipwreck pictured above) and many other thing my tired brain can not remember. Now we did this all on foot, which is why my brain is so tired. After walking around in the hot sun all day we finally crashed at the corps and kidnapped my new guitar. It's not really new. But i feel like it is. And i love it. But i still can't get the darn 4th string to be tuned right. Now why do i need a tuned guitar? I don't play guitar do i? Well, that's going to have to wait until the next post (which will hopefully be in like a couple of hours) so just be patient, and revel in the mystery! Until then, Cya!

Chris Chronicles national day of mourning...

Across the world there are many different national days of mourning for many different things. For people killed in wars and other such things. But there are millions who don't go mourned. Not for dying. But for a loss of innocence. So i'm declaring today a national (counting my blog as nation) day of mourning for innocence lost.

Chris

I'm a Finnish rockstar!! (Plus a bunch of other stuff...)

Hey, do you see any strange resemblance between me and that Finnish rockstar there? What is it? What makes us so strikingly similiar? The facial hair! I have finnish rockstar facial hair! By the way, that's Jukka, the drummer from NightWish. I was listening to his rocking sounds today in the library music room, and as i was glancing through the "Once" CD case insert paper thingy and checking out the cool pics of the band i noticed something about one of my favorite Finnish bands. (Actually i'd say it's just my number one favorite. Even The Rasmus can't match this!) Every guy in NightWish has some variation of my facial hair! I've said it before and will say it again, i'm obsessed with my facial hair, so now that i know that this is Finnish rockstar facial hair i feel much cooler. Anyway, i bet you want to know i did today. Well the truth is i bet you don't. But because i have nothing else to tell you about i'll tell about what i did today. Well first i went and performed a crazy rock concert and got tons of fans. Then i found my true love and got married(She was in the band too, doing vocals/keyboards with me doing main vocals/crazy dancing). Then i built a space ship out of spare X-box parts and used it to blow up an alien fleet that was planning to destroy earth. Then i woke up.

No, i didn't actually dream about that. But i would have liked to. It would have been so cool. Especially if my true love was Tarja Turunen, or Amy Lee, or maybe even some alien invader. But enough wierd stuff. Today, after spending the morning chilling and reading, i headed out on my bike for an adventure worthy of a spaceship built of X-box parts. I had a to-do list. Well not really. I had a vague idea of what might be nice to do. So i jetted down to the library and checked whether they had any Orson Scott Card books (they did!) then went to the other library and listened to a bunch of music. I don't know why, but i just felt like listening to a lot of Finnish music. So from NightWish to Apocalyptica i listened and loved. I also checked out some stuff i'd always wanted to hear, such as Vanessa Mae, who i actually didn't like much. Too quiet. I wanted Apocalyptica for that type of music. Anyway, after that...hmm, i'm trying to remember what else i did. Well, it was exciting anyway. One cool thing i saw is the Youth Cafe near Vabaduse Väljak, which i've seen before but never taken the trouble to actually investigate. I still haven't actually gone in, but i just went to their website and read their mission statement (http://www.ave.ee/kohvik/?pg=whyeng) and think it sounds really cool. So some time i'm gonna go check it out. Anyway, oh! I just remembered what else i did. It was really cool. Wicked exciting. So good. I...

Visited Microsoft!! Microsoft you say? Bill Gates? No, i didn't visit Bill Gates. But i did visit what i believe to be Microsoft HQ Estonia. It's right next to the Radisson. I've been having problems with my X-box for months. Probably more than a year. And ever since i found out where Microsoft HQ is i decided i would storm it, demanding my X-box be fixed by Bill Gates himself! So i nicely road my bike over, walked in, asked the security guard nicely if i could go in, then took the elevater up to the 2nd floor where the nice young lady behind the desk buzzed me in. Now when this nice young lady looked at me either she fell madly and instantly in love (very likely) or found something about my appearance funny (unlikely). I mean really, maybe my hair was a little (or very) wind blown from my crazy bike ride. And maybe there were red marks on my nose from wearing my sunglasses so long. And maybe i haven't shaved in almost a week! But i don't think she found that funny. I think she was in love. So she greeted me with and odd little smile pulling at the corners of her mouth and i commenced to tell her that i required spare X-box parts to build a space ship. Either that or i wanted someone to fix my X-box so it would stop resembling a slug, and start resembling a high tech piece of gaming equipment. She told me she had no idea if they did X-box repairs anywhere in Estonia and asked for my number (see? She loved me! She wanted my number) so that she could call me and let me know if it was possible to have my dear X-box fixed. So i strolled out and jumped on my bike and road away. She still hasn't called me (playing hard to get, i assume) so i'm still waiting for my call from Microsoft. Hopefully they'll call me tommorow, because if they don't i'll be at camp and very unlikely to pick up my phone. Anyway, i must be off now, because for some reason i have a bit of a nagging headache. So until next time, Cya!

College! (Plus a new YouTube video...)

Well, i've said it before, and would probably say it again, i haven't even been to college yet and it's already to much work! But at least i'm doing it. I've finally hunted down my favorite three. Or at least my favorite three today. Maybe tommorow that will change, but maybe not. Who knows. Anyway, i'm going to give you the all star line up of colleges that were worthy of my notice. Now of course because i'm an extraordinary person it takes extraordinary colleges to atract my attention. And even MORE extraordinary to make me want to go to that college. So anyway, the 3 colleges amazing enough to catch my interest are:

Asbury College, in Wilmore, Kentucky has a large Salvationist student group. And i'm a Salvationist so that appeals to me because i like the Salvation Army.

Then there's Thomas More College in Merrimack, New Hampshire. I like it's location because of it's relative closeness to Maine where much of my family lives. I also really like it's uniqueish curriculum.

And last, and most definitely the opposite of least, Houghton College in Houghton, New York. I like this one for a lot of reasons. And at the moment it's probably my favorite. One of the coolest (if not neccesarily biggest) reasons i like this college is because it has something very, VERY, few American colleges can boast. An Estonian proffesor. Profesor Külli Tõniste is assistant Professor of New Testament. Which is so cool becuase it means i wouldn't be the only Estonian speaker around.

Now with these three to choose from it's really hard to pick. So it's basically up to them now. Once i take my SAT again (to boost my abysmal math score) in November and then send in my applications whoever accepts me gets me. And if they all accept me (as i'm sure they all will because i'm so wonderful ;->) then i'll flip a coin or something! Joking. But anyway, just wanted to let you know what's going on with me. Anyway, i also mentioned in the title a new YouTube video. At Jr. Soldier camp i took a video of Elizabeth and some of her little girl friends doing a dance. And now that video is on YouTube. Theres the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bPCFuBE2T4 i hope you like it. Anyway, must be off now. Cya!